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Hello.
I am living in Turkey with my mom and sister. We are new to caregiving, clueless on how to do things the right way. Mom hasn't been diagnosed yet, but she either has severe psychological or neurological issues. Doctors couldn’t find what’s wrong yet.
Mom fell and broke her shoulder. Ever since she has been experiencing confusion. It has been 10 days since the fall and she has been asking what to do, where to sit, etc. For the last 3 days she is even asking what to do in toilet. Do I poop now? Should I pee too? I wiped now what do I do with tissue, throw in bin or toilet? Asking every single thing.
When I ask her why she keeps asking stuff she says she is afraid to make mistakes. She used to ask stuff and wouldn’t act without us confirming before too (any illness related to this?) but it was like “is the dishwasher set on right program? Can you start it?” She would refrain from doing things afraid of breaking them.
What do I do, how should I react to her constant questions to every step of anything?
Thank you.

I’ve just realised that providing the personal details I asked for in my first post, might be enough to ID you if you are indeed a forces person stationed in Turkey. So don’t, we all value our anonymity.

More about the site: If you click on ‘Care Topics’ at the top right of the screen, you get an alphabet. Click on D for Dementia and there is lots of information – professional articles, old threads and discussions. And of course all the other letters provide more information on other related topics.

If you click on the magnifying glass, also on the top right of the screen, you can type in any topic at all. That will access threads that have used that term.

If you want to be more personal and are concerned about ID, you can start a new thread with a new and different screen name, and don’t mention Turkey. There are many many overseas postings, which wouldn’t lead to an ID – perhaps pick one yourself.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Pain, anistia, trauma , or maybe she bumped her head? All that can cause an aging Brian to break a little more.

Sence the fall was only ten days ago, she may or may slowly regain some of her brain function, or she may not.

I would Google everything you can find on dementia, there is a lot of good information out there.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Was your Mother confused before her fall & shoulder surgery? Or just after the anesthetic & surgery?

If only after, was delerium mentioned?

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/delirium-vs-dementia-476403.htm
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Reply to Beatty
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CluelessKid Aug 10, 2024
Hello!

she used to have confusion very rarely when she was very stressed. Like 3 times over 1,5 years. She didnt have anesthesia or surgery. She has broken shoulder bone but doctors just wrapped.

im reading about delirium now. No docs had said anything before about it.
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How old is M, and how old are you? Is there anyone in the loop who isn’t ‘clueless’ – family, friends, even neighbors? If you are overseas Americans, M, Sis and you (male?) are an unusual combination, so more profile details would help. Do you have a medical service eg for the armed forces?

If M had an anesthetic after she broke her shoulder, that might explain her mental state, which is often affected. Ten days is not a long time, she might come right – or even just a bit better, which would help. It might be a good idea to avoid ‘encouraging’ her lack of ideas about what to do, because learned helplessness is possible and can lead to rapid dependence. Perhaps say “what do you think?” first, rather than just answer her questions.

Just to let you know, you may not get many answers for a while because of the time difference between the USA and Turkey. I am in Australia, where it’s 4.30pm on Saturday, but it’s a different thing altogether in west coast USA, probably still Friday. Americans wake up to posts from me, so be patient, people will help.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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CluelessKid Aug 10, 2024
Hi there! Ty for the answer. Let me clear some stuff.

mom is 77, im 38 female. Im not american, not in military. Mom didnt have surgery nor taken anesthetics. She is only using some painkillers and has shoulder bandage.

and tysm for infos. I will try not encouraging. Before the fall mom had started parkinsons medicine but they havent really diagnosed her. They were trying to see if it would help. Instead it seems to have messed her head a lot. Now she is off them. Although she is better, still confused.
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