I am very upset. is in a place called Trump Pavilion in Jamaica, Queens. The stroke was severe and I heard from my brother, an attorney who has power of attorney and proxy status that she has had very little improvement over the course of her therapy. She can't move her leg, let alone walk or stand, and her arm is totally paralyzed. I am going crazy not seeing her or speaking with her.
Finding somewhere to live comes first. Everything else falls into place from that. So do that first. Your mother is safe and well looked after, and that's all that matters - you don't need to do anything about it. Come on Scott, look for a new place. Pick five advertisements and write down the contact details, take it further when you're ready.
I have to go to my appointment at the clinic now. I am going to be late, so maybe I will continue this later.
Thanks for replying, Carol.
When my Dad was dying of cancer (self inflicted from chain smoking) I knew there was not much time left. I told him I wanted to see him and he was adament about me NOT seeing him. I pressed him and was crying and he finally explained because of how terrible he looked, he did not want my last visual memory of him to be that. I eventually gave up. My brothers went to see him in the hospital and they confirmed they did not even recognize him. I would have gone to see him regardless of what he looked like but I had to honor his wishes, as difficult as that was for me to come to terms with.
I have no idea what the reason is in your Mom's heart and mind why she has made this request. I know how painful it is for you and I am so sorry you are going through it. Try (if you can) not to take it personally, you alone know you are a good son and there is no legitimate reason she has to make that request.
As others have said, perhaps your mother is "embarrassed" by her disability. It also sounds like have been "estranged" from your brother for some time now. All you can do is to send the occasional card and flowers. She may yet "come around" to you emotionally.