I looked at the one very close to my house and am concerned that there might be too many people that are way worse than my mom to make MC a good option for her. It has a great reputation but I wonder if I should lobby for her to be in a regular LTC room instead of MC. She is on the waiting list but should be coming to the top in the next few months. Or sooner? Who knows. She is not a flight risk and does not have any bad behaviors like violence or anything. She is currently in LTC but I really want her at the nicer facility near me. She is currently a level 5. I saw lots of people that are a 7 that are out of it in special reclining type wheelchairs. Kinda heartbreaking!
Like my MIL often does respite at such a place and they use bands that are pre programed with available access to areas. The campus itself is locked down but for the most part she is free to go where she pleases outside of private rooms.
They have very few patients ratio is around 3 or 5 to 1. Activities are always present to accommodate the different sleep cycles for each patient. These are far from the norm and extreme expensive. Room and board itself starts at 12 to 14k.
Options exist but they are out for reach for most people because unfortunately for profit is how things work.
Some places also have what is called article demenita village which is far more expensive.
What rattles my cage is that there appear to be so few really "good" placements for old people unless they have LOTS of $$$. (AlvaDeer's late brother's placement sounds like a true exception.) Many AFLs and hospices have become, of all things, profit centers for investment by the extremely well-heeled so that they can become even wealthier. I think that, on the whole, elders have earned a better old age than most of us ordinary Americans will experience/(endure?).
People are staying home longer. Entering into 'care' older, frailer, sicker. I have been told this at every single place so far.
So.. this means less 'walking' to be seen in the corridoors & more 'slumping' in wheelchairs or recliners. Heartbreaking? YES.
Also told how this affected the designated Memory Care areas (ie locked door sections). Not for those experiencing memory loss (coz that is nearly all) but for those with *significant needs*: being those with #1 elopement risk, #2 aggression, #3 ISB.
So far I have found places that look like 5⭐️ hotels but staff don't smile much or say hello. Older but friendlier & also 'classic' ie shabby shamefully neglected dumps.
Where I live, it used to be High Care or Low Care & people got moved around & this was traumatic for them. This has mostly changed to an *Aging in Place* model now. People stay in their room (unless need that locked door MC area). It's an improvement but there is a long way to go..
Best of luck finding a good place!
If she had an issue with a resident, the staff always resolved it for her, I must say. There was a man named Denny who'd knock on moms locked door all the time, which made her anxious beyond belief. Staff wound up placing a big club chair in front of her door so he couldn't navigate his wheelchair close enough to touch her door anymore.
Memory Care is a difficult environment, especially for difficult or complaining individuals who expect silence and normal behavior 100% of the time, like my mother. There isn't too much "normal behavior" in a group of elders suffering varying degrees of dementia, I'll tell you that. So my suggestion is to wait as long as humanly possible to place your mom in the MC. It's a last resort, honestly. My mom went in about a year too soon, imo. She became wheelchair bound at the same time her dementia had taken a nosedive. Plus she was falling a LOT and often required 2 people to assist her in regular AL. So after she went to the hospital and rehab, she was rejected for readmittance to AL. I could've tried getting her placed in a different AL, but the move to MC within the same place she'd lived at for 5 yrs seemed more prudent. She was 92 at the time and lived to 95.
There is no good answer when dementia is in the house. It's a lose lose situation for all concerned and no matter WHAT we do, we tend to feel it's the wrong decision. It isn't.....its the disease that's the problem, not the tough decisions we're faced with.
Best of luck to you, my friend.
I am afraid the only answer I see is for EXCELLENT facilities to come up with the "inbetween" care and that's rare as hen's teeth.
Will they ever be created in any number?
Only when they are money-makers; because honestly that's the American model.
My brother was at Pacifica Senior Living in Palm Springs 5 years ago. I cannot say enough good about this facility. They had at that campus cottages. There was one larger cottage that was a locked memory care. The other cottages had approximately 14 rooms each around a common area divided in front with a common room for TV, visiting, and dining in read. Tube room and office for staff, small kitchen for snacks in the middle. These cottages were, in Assisted Living, open to coming and going with only a sign in and sign out. The corner rooms were two room apartments; other rooms all a single room. At the point that my brother died they were just beginning to come to the concept of a "middle" choice for care which was that one cottage was locked, better staffed, and for those who are beyond ALF but not yet needing MC.
This would be, I think, IDEAL for your dear mom. She may need level four care, but she isn't a good fit for those with more advanced dementia.
I don't know what will this or any other country has for making things "good" for the aged. The truth is, when you look at the support provided them and their caregivers, this and any other country for the "most part" don't seem to have the will or want to invest the money. Sad, that. We see "Village Models". We know they WORK. But we know the cost and we aren't willing.
I can only wish you luck. Do speak with the admins there. My very best to you.
Well, then, if that's our national truth, let that truth be known and allow reasonable end-of-life laws that permit us (or our MPOA) to make merciful decisions in our favor.
I can understand wanting to move your Mom into something nicer. If your Mom gets to the top of the waiting list, please note that anyone who has memory issues, moving can be very stressful. New building to learn her way around, new faces of Staff and residents, new sounds/smells, and different food.
Try to set up her bedroom the say way her bedroom is now set up at LTC. That way if she awakes in the middle of the night, the room won't feel strange. I did that for my Dad and it helped. My Dad loved the sunshine, so I was able to get him a south facing room :)