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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mom died of Alz. last year and she went through many stages. I hated the disease! It made my mom angry and even violent at times and I learned to recognized when she was getting ready to hit me by the look in her eyes. I still loved the person she USED to be and I pitied the one she had become. But it was the disease and not her that I didn't like. There comes a time when you have to realize that the person she is with the disease is not the person she used to be. That is all part of this most horrible disease. She didn't know who I was and she didn't like me. But continued to be one of her caregivers for the sake of the mother I used to know. Don't be too hard on yourself for feeling this way...most of us do. Blessings to you, Lindaz.
Of course you can. It certainly can be complicated at time - a lot of times. I think when it is a parent with the disease it can be especially complicated. We grow up seeking our parents approval and there can be so much baggage if the relationship was complicated to start with. My mom and I had one of those complicated relationships. My mom has always been self absorbed, argumentative and manipulative. Once the dementia really revved up mom became all the more so and then down right cruelty came into play - very tough times. Now mom is on hospice care and the dementia has morphed again. This round mom is not really talking much, sleeping mostly. So I think in a way, it's easier to love her now - more so than anytime in the past five years.
Note, though, that dementia doesn't automatically make someone lovable who was not lovable before. A person who has abused you in the past, for example, doesn't get a free pass and the rights to your love just because they've developed a disease.
But assuming a loving relationship before the dementia, sure, you can continue that love while fervently hating what the disease is doing to that person.
My husband had LBD and we personified it, calling it Lewy. We could get very mad at Lewy. Lewy was the enemy. I could say, "Yes, honey, I know you could carry that tray. You've done it for many years. But we never know when Lewy is going to play tricks on you. Let me carry the tray this time. Can you carry the bag of rolls?"
In the middle of an episode of hurtful behavior it can be very hard to remember that this is the dementia and not the loved one. Sometimes you can make that separation in your mind better than at other times! But keep practicing.
I would say that if someone just can't master loving the person and hating the dementia it would be best not to have the day-to-day responsibility for hands-on-care. Visiting that person in a care center would probably be less damaging to the relationship.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
That is all part of this most horrible disease. She didn't know who I was and she didn't like me. But continued to be one of her caregivers for the sake of the mother I used to know. Don't be too hard on yourself for feeling this way...most of us do. Blessings to you, Lindaz.
Note, though, that dementia doesn't automatically make someone lovable who was not lovable before. A person who has abused you in the past, for example, doesn't get a free pass and the rights to your love just because they've developed a disease.
But assuming a loving relationship before the dementia, sure, you can continue that love while fervently hating what the disease is doing to that person.
My husband had LBD and we personified it, calling it Lewy. We could get very mad at Lewy. Lewy was the enemy. I could say, "Yes, honey, I know you could carry that tray. You've done it for many years. But we never know when Lewy is going to play tricks on you. Let me carry the tray this time. Can you carry the bag of rolls?"
In the middle of an episode of hurtful behavior it can be very hard to remember that this is the dementia and not the loved one. Sometimes you can make that separation in your mind better than at other times! But keep practicing.
I would say that if someone just can't master loving the person and hating the dementia it would be best not to have the day-to-day responsibility for hands-on-care. Visiting that person in a care center would probably be less damaging to the relationship.