My mom has been in an AL facility for two months she has undiagnosed dementia and can be confused about what day it is, and what time of day. The past few days she has been really confused about time and has missed meals in the dining room. Even though she has a clock that tells the time, date, and even the time of day, she is unable to process if it is 11:15, time for lunch. Yesterday, she had nothing to eat until I called her at 2:30. I told her that she needed to go to dinner (starts at 4:15). She said she would do that. I found out today that she went to the dining room way too early where they were having an activity and serving watermelon. She told me "dinner was bad, all they had was watermelon." So, she didn't even realize she was at an activity. She has food in her apartment but if she is not hungry, she won't eat. Some days are better than others and she manages to get to the dining room on time. I've already talked to one of the aides and they really aren't able to remind every resident that it is time to eat. So, now my plan is to call her at lunch time and at dinner time and tell her to eat. I would like to keep her in assisted living as long as she can stay (rather than a higher level of care) but am worried that she will end up in the hospital because of not eating. Has anyone had this problem??
Can they get on her meds while she's in the hospital?
Will her kidney problems require her to be in a skilled nursing facility? Does she have an advanced medical directive?
I know that you said that she could return to her previous AL, but, have they discussed with you how they would handle someone who is disruptive and resistant to care? I had that happen with my cousin and it's not a good situation. When the dementia is of a certain level and they are not able to give her one on one attention, it might be that her level of care would be too much for a regular AL. I'd ask them about it and how to evaluate what type of facility she would get the attention that she currently needs.
In NC, Memory Care AL's provide care for the resident for as long as they live, unless they need skilled nursing care. They can stay there even if they are bedbound, incontinent, handfed and on hospice. So, I felt comfortable placing my cousin there. Regular Assisted Livings in NC have other rules and a resident has to have be able to meet certain abilities like being able to transfer with the help of one person, cannot be double incontinent, etc. So, at Memory Care, there is some peace of mind knowing that they aren't likely to have to go to a nursing home. I'd check the rules in your state to see how they apply to help you with the planning.
Where my Dad lives, Sunrise Senior Living, an Aide comes to his room and gets him ready for the day, and later returns to take him to the main dining room if Dad hasn't already started to head that direction. Same for lunch, and same for dinner.
Whew, what a relief as when he was in Independent Living, I would call him at 4:30 to remind him to start getting ready for dinner. Then I would call back at 5:15 to make sure he wasn't in his room.... if he answered, my heart sunk, as he hadn't gone to the dining room yet. Now I don't need to worry.