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You are the only one who trapped yourself. You have no job and two children to raise. You cannot leave the state with his children without permission or you face arrest. You will not get custody because you have no means of support.
Do not blame this on an old man in an old house. Do not portray yourself as a victim. You are an adult and the first thing you need to do is admit you make bad decisions.
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The dysfunction of boyfriend's up bringing has not changed...... You and he are continuing the cycle. It sounds like you and he need some counseling to sort this out to grow away from this living condition. Just do it!
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You have placed all of the blame and discussion at your FIL's feet. Where is your fiance in all of this? He's a grown man and father. Why is HE living this life? And why are you having two children in this set-up? You have now put yourself into a difficult situation and limited your escape route with two children to support. If your fiance is happy where he is, you need to get out and get away. If he's not happy, then you need to work together as a unit to create the life and living situation you both want and deserve. And that's not with your FIL. Let him live in the past.

You have a child and another one on the way - those are your first priorities. Fiance is second and FIL is third.
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By the sounds of if your FIL is determined to stay in the "museum" house forever. Has your boyfriend ever lived by himself? You don't say how old he is but if he's lived with mom and dad all his life he may actually be terrified of leaving, ever.

In an ideal world FIL would either go into a seniors residence where his meals, laundry and cleaning are done for him or hire someone to come into the museum and attend to those things, while you, soon to be 4, find a place of your own not too far away.

The saddest thing of all is that you've brought one child into this mess and soon there will be another. Sounds harsh but have you stopped to consider what this unhealthy situation is doing and will be doing to them? Once they're toddling and running around he'll likely view them as a total nuisance and treat them accordingly.

You have to have a long talk with your boyfriend. Either he is prepared to leave and make you a proper family unit or you will leave and take the children, no ands, ifs or buts. You have to take a stand for the sake of the children if nothing else.
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Let your boyfriend read this... You 2 definitely need to talk about how you feel and make and follow through with plans to move out a.s.a.p........
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