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Me to I would love to go someplace just for two days but now with her having the swine flu I must be mindful and will have to run home here in a few minutes to see if she is still with us. LOL
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Anne, he loves bacon! HMMMMMM! Now THAT is tempting! LOL

Neon, see I knew they had a lot in common. Vacation sounds real good about now, I'm getting desperate. LOL
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Me to Anne, Hey NAUS that is so tempting we could meet somewhere in the middle drop them off at a motel six somewhere and who knows what would happen but I can tell you right now you would be giving your dad a bag of worms to open she is all about herself her pain, her food, her room her stuff her I think its not the swine flu I think its the medisease. but thanks for the offer. On the other hand we might both get a well needed vacation if we could meet in the middle LOL
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Hope you're not feeding dad stinky bacon from Mexico!!! Not funny, sorry. No offense to anyone... But I need to laugh to avoid the rubber room.
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Neon, that is soooooo funny! Would your Mom like to date my Dad, they have a lot in common. My dad doesn't hear me either, unless I say "FOOD IS READY!"
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speaking of pigs Now please yall don't take this the wrong way just remember the news, and it is sad but this particular thing is funny at least to me....
I got home last night and my mother walked by me twice and I said hello and she ignored me or she just didn't hear me she can't hear unless I say its time to eat. that being said she comes back thru and says now get this

"I think I have the swine flu" I said how did you get it? You haven't been to mexico you never go anywhere and you haven't been in contact with anyone who has it. There are no cases at the hospital so I didn't bring it home, I don't have it hubby doesn't have it, my dogs get a little dirty out in the yard digging but they aren't pigs, are you dating a Mexican pig farmer and having him in here when I'm at work? she didn't hear me she is so into herself it is so pathetic she only wants to tell you whats wrong with her and not listen to a thing you have to say she does the same with her doc which she will see monday. You can't get it transmitted thru the tv can you? So before I went to bed I opened her door to see how she was and asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital oh no thats the hospital that killed your father LOL he had a bleeding stroke, no one can fix that But I did think my reply was funny and I hope you all do to.
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Was is stinky bacon? LOL
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when I was a kid my father brought home two orphaned lambs they were so cute and feeding them from a bottle was so much fun most fathers bring home a cat or dog with us it was lambs then there was our pig named Stinky he made great bacon later on and our attack geese and our rabbits and chickens and pigions and outside cats and ducks it was a good time.
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All we like sheep have gone astray...
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Hey... question abut the goat when he's tied up... LOL Don't they chew through anything? Maybe its not so bad if the goat wanders? :)
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Hilarious! and great advice! Thanks, ladies!!!
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Amen! My uncle was all to obvious about where his goat was tied. : )
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MindingOurElders,
When you mentioned the man knowing how to get your uncle's goat, it reminded me of something I heard that I thought was really good advice.
"If you don't want someone to get your goat, don't let them know where it is tied up!"
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One of many of our family stories is that my uncle was a very ridgid military man with the retired rank of Colonel. That is how he liked to be addressed. One man on his floor at the nursing hoe obviously didn't like my uncle (understandable), but knew how to get his goat. He would call him "Corporal." My uncle would turn purple! It was hilarious.


Carol
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Dear Austin, it is so good to see you use humor! Thank God you can laugh in the midst of all you've been through.
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Shar- now that an idea- I hate washing bathroom walls.
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Thanks to MOM, I NO longer have to wash the bathrooms walls down, she manages all of that by her unknowing self by forgetting to draw close the shower curtains when she bathes. Lucky me!!!!
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Anne-please do not tell me he died he is my friend no matter how hard my life gets on TV he allways makes me LOL -tell me he trained his son so I can continue to LOL- I kneed to laugh esp. now
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Anne, I've read this one before LOL and your additions are hysterical thank you for your creativity and humor neon
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I know this is supposed to be a "laughter" thread, but needed someplace to share this sad news: The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a nasty yeast infection, and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough. Plus, they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pot Tart. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes. Now, he will never rise again.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.
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Ginny, that is just a phenomenal story. It brought a warm smile and just reminded me of my time when I spent with dad. Those are the times I fell in love with the staff and learned to appreciate them. It is truly a gift from God to come up with that time of innovative thoughts and stimulation for our elders.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story.
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Dad wanted to know how much it cost him to eat there. I told him it was $1,000.00 a day. His eyes got so wide. My husband gave me a funny look. I asked Dad if he thought it was worth it. He didn't know if I was joking or not.

One of the things his nursing care facility does is conduct a Laugh Club weekly. The director greets everyone with a handshake and a smile, getting right in their face. You'd think it would be intimidating to some, as this is on the Alzheimer's wing, but they respond back with a smile. They actually laugh, too. He has them picking imaginary cherries from imaginary trees (stretching), then stopping imaginary rotten ones beneath their feet. He puts imaginary ice down their backs, then demonstrates contortions trying to get the ice out, with them wiggling in their chairs as well. Sometimes they wiggle because of imaginary ants in their pants. It is hilarious to see. Better than sitting alone in a room or hallway, rotting away. They do the Queen's wave (exercising their arms) and greet each other with a smile and handshake or laughter and clapping, saying, "Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, he he he, yeah!" Sometimes they wear funny hats, or the director wears a clown wig and big red nose. He tells funny jokes, and asks them to do the same. I never saw so many wheel chair bound people smiling and laughing before ever. In this case, laughter really is like a good medicine. It lightens their hearts, and gives them something fun to look forward to.

Sometimes they play "Balloon Ball" as well. Just batting a big helium balloon around the room. It gets their arms and sometimes feet moving, and gets them exercising while having fun. Residents love it! This in one of the country's finest Nursing Care Facilities. We love to visit our 2 dads there, because it's not just a place to park, but a place that honors and loves the residents, strives to discover and cater to personal interests and needs, and involve family. We are blessed and so are our loved ones, who have such a magnificent place to live!
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That is not only a beautiful story, but tells of the compassion and positive side of Institutionalized Care. A lot of those people really love the residents, and care about their well being. The more we're involved, the move they show interest, studies show. Today, Activities had Dad (who is a retired Carpenter) sanding some wood pieces they are using to make book shelves. I teased him and said he better work harder if he doesn't want to get fired. They will soon be planting flowers outside. He wanted us to eat dinner with him tonight. I told him it costs us money to eat there
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Oh Ginny, what a precious memory thanks for sharing
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My story is about my Dad, he went to be with the Lord in 2001. For six years he was in different stages of Alzheimers. The last 4 years he lived at a nursing facility.
Dad liked to stand at the nurses station and was able to communicate with everyone most of the time. The nurses felt sorry for him standing, so they got him a chair, when he sat down he couldn't see what was going on. The nurses loved my dad so they decided to let him sit with them at the desk in the nurse's station. Dad was a supervisor in his career, so he felt right at home at the desk.
He would tell maintenance staff when he noticed something that needed to be fixed. They said, sure Mr H we will get right on it. At times, he really thought he worked there. One day we came to take him out to lunch, and when he got in the car he said, I am so glad you came to get me out of there. I have been working really hard, and I haven't had a day off in I don't know when. Those were the times we could laugh, it saved our tears for other times.
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Junebug's story makes me cry.
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"Geriatrics or pediatrics, the only difference is body mass."
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Ah there are days its just too funny. When I was allowed to stay with my father after his stroke (5 yrs ago) in not only the hospital but in rehab (literally lived there with him), my dad had a roommate that I'll never forget. This poor guy had a stroke that left him paralyzed down the one side. He couldn't do anything because he was paralyzed, so part of his therapy was getting him up and getting to a wheel chair etc. He was a mean old booger in reality, but during the night after they had him all settled in and dressed in his pajamas, he would start screaming, etc. I would try calming him down just so my father could sleep and so I would peek around the corner to try and comfort him and low and behold he was stark naked hanging half off the bed. Let me tell ya.... a naked old man is not in my site-seeing tour while caring for dad. I was like "Oh geez... nurse!!" I still don't know to this day how he would undress himself being paralyzed, but by God he did it, nightly as a matter of fact. That shut me up more than him! Would you believe I was the one who got in trouble when they never would have known about him? Yeah... okay.
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We have an 87 year old Aunt that lives at our house. I also have a 11 month old granddaughter. They are about equal in care! We had a good laugh the other night with a chocolate bunny that had a bite out of it. We were all wondering who got the bite out of the bunny. It wasn't very hard to figure out due to the fact that our aunt refuses to wear her top dentures and our granddaughter has her top and bottom two front teeth. The bunny only had one set of bites in it! Guess who!
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Dear Naus, I wish you were in my family....lol, because none of them think I'm an angel. (Are you sure you don't have me mixed up with someone else?)

doingmybest, funny Chinese food story!

Love all you ladies! Keep a spirit of joy, even in the hard circumstances. My Dad laughs a lot these days. Most of what he says doesn't make sense, but his wonderful nursing staff laugh anyway. They just keep on smiling, keep on hugging, and keep on loving. Dad and we are blessed!
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