68 years old. Retired RN. Took care of multiple close family members till their deaths. Now 91 year old mother living alone fell Fx right humerus. Went to rehab. Got Covid in rehab. Could not put much effort into rehab. My opinion is needs assisted living/ memory care due to intermittent confusion. Sister wanted home care 24/7 aides set up by her through her job (RN)
I agreed to try..but if aides not working or showing up….I will not be the back up plan…I am done. Severe Caregiver fatigue..Have my own responsibilities at home.
Came home yesterday. Very bad condition. Cannot walk. Hallucinating. Went there this am. Aide did not show up. Reminded my sister that I would not be back up plan. Argued that she does everything…I do nothing…not true she has martyr syndrome.
Lots more to story…but bottom line is it ok to say no to a situation you thought was wrong but agreed to let her try with stipulations by me (older sister.)
PS. I have an account with 3 agencies. I also hire private duty cna's. Each Wednesday my boyfriend and I have a bet as to whether CNA K. will show up.
My parents said "no" to the above questions and then some. Then I said, well that caregiver would have been me. It was an interesting eye opener for them. And my Dad remember that when later down the line he asked if there were places where he could hire a caregiver :)
It is rarely a good idea for a senior to be a caregiver to older seniors. I remember going to my parent's doctor appointment, there the 3 of us were, all using canes. Dad and I couldn't get Mom to use a taxi, so I white knuckled it to all their appointments.
Limit being: NOT providing 24/7 on-call backup service, as stated.
Stand your ground. (((Hugs)))).