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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My Dad had both male and female caregivers and he was much happier with the female caregivers. And especially if the caregivers were in their 50's and 60's, thus have more in common when it came to TV shows, names of actors, music, history, etc.
I'd hire a male caregiver if I were in this position. With dementia comes a strong possibility this husband will be sexually attracted to a woman caregiver. Being that you said the gentleman is happily married for 60 years leads me to believe you're looking for the answer I've given you, or for confirmation of your belief.
In many cases it DOES make a difference what gender the caregiver is! Especially when dementia is involved and Inappropriate Sexual Behavior is common.
I have been caring for a 93 yr old gentleman for the past 11 yrs. I have been told that having a female helps the wife through each day as well as her husband. However, I would suggest hiring an older female caregiver rather than a young one due to the personal/hygene needs of the patient. Just my thoughts Ggood luck
It really depends! 1) How big/heavy is he? (male caregivers can generally lift more) 2) What is his sexual orientation and awareness? (some are in the closet, some are misogynistic, some are grabby and/or inappropriate with one sex or the other, some have an aversion to one sex or the other) 3) Is he outgoing and personable, or shy and quiet? (personality compatibility matters)
Would a guy really want a woman to be wiping his deriere? Or scrubbing his scrotum? With dementia, he may like it in inappropriate ways, but as the wife I wouldn't be in favor of it. I vote for same sex aid, especially if it's a companion aid.
There are several factors that should be considered here. Like the man's age for example. He is from a generation where women were the nurses and men were the doctors. Nurses are the ones who did this kind of work and they aren't going to allow another man who isn't an actual doctor to go near them.
Then the man's dementia has to be considered. If he is hyper-sexual and is as Anxietynacy says in the comments 'a more sexually outspoken male' then a male caregiver is the way to go.
It pretty much comes down to the people who know the man with dementia best and who see him the most often. They would know if he'd be better served by a male of female caregiver.
There comes a point where you realize care is more important than modesty. I think most hesitation comes crime your own feelings of modesty. For some no big deal for others it is. So each person will be different and have different needs.
Yes, it could be a projection - or not. A person needs to ask themselves / process their own reactions / concerns / feelings for clarity / clarification ... it can be a life-long process - of awareness. Gena / Touch Maters
A good caregiver will respect the dignity and privacy of the person they are caring for. the CNA (female) that was assigned to my Husband when he was on Hospice was always very careful when she brought him from the bedroom down the hall to the bathroom (The accessible bathroom was down the hall from the main bedroom) She would make sure he was covered with a towel or sheet. It was just the 3 of us in the house. Giving a bed bath she always kept the portion of the body she was not cleaning covered. The gentleman with dementia is probably not going to care or notice the gender of the person caring for him. The only problem that might occur is some people with dementia become fixated on sex and may get a little "touchy feely". Most caregivers can handle this and have ways to stop it but if it becomes an issue then asking for the same gender caregiver might be necessary. But if this has not been a problem it may never be.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is he resistive to things such as bathing ?
Is the man easy going with women ? Will do what a woman asks him to do ?
Or would he respond better to a male getting him to accept care ?
In many cases it DOES make a difference what gender the caregiver is! Especially when dementia is involved and Inappropriate Sexual Behavior is common.
Ggood luck
1) How big/heavy is he? (male caregivers can generally lift more)
2) What is his sexual orientation and awareness? (some are in the closet, some are misogynistic, some are grabby and/or inappropriate with one sex or the other, some have an aversion to one sex or the other)
3) Is he outgoing and personable, or shy and quiet? (personality compatibility matters)
Ive seen a couple really nice male caregivers, there just really isn't that many, harder to find.
Good luck 😔
Absolutely they would. Homophobia is a real thing among men who are in their late 70's and early 80's.
Really it's all about the people who know this person the best to make the right decision.
Then the man's dementia has to be considered. If he is hyper-sexual and is as Anxietynacy says in the comments 'a more sexually outspoken male' then a male caregiver is the way to go.
It pretty much comes down to the people who know the man with dementia best and who see him the most often. They would know if he'd be better served by a male of female caregiver.
A person needs to ask themselves / process their own reactions / concerns / feelings for clarity / clarification ... it can be a life-long process - of awareness. Gena / Touch Maters
the CNA (female) that was assigned to my Husband when he was on Hospice was always very careful when she brought him from the bedroom down the hall to the bathroom (The accessible bathroom was down the hall from the main bedroom)
She would make sure he was covered with a towel or sheet. It was just the 3 of us in the house.
Giving a bed bath she always kept the portion of the body she was not cleaning covered.
The gentleman with dementia is probably not going to care or notice the gender of the person caring for him. The only problem that might occur is some people with dementia become fixated on sex and may get a little "touchy feely". Most caregivers can handle this and have ways to stop it but if it becomes an issue then asking for the same gender caregiver might be necessary. But if this has not been a problem it may never be.
And, how are you doing Ms. Grandma? Gena