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My mother-in-law recently moved to our state after her husband passed away in the early spring. She has extreme anxiety and panics constantly to the point it's becoming a burden. The only time I have seen her relaxed was when we had a small gathering and she had a wine cooler. She was like a different person. She was friendly and easy going. I'm thinking of trying to give her 1/2 to 1 wine cooler daily in the early evening to see if it helps calm her down so she can get a good night sleep but I don't know if that is too much for an 80 year old.

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My 95 yo mother frequently has a shot of blackberry brandy before bed. Takes the edge off her arthritis pain and helps her sleep. .

I as the caregiver usually have two 😁
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Geeeeez, gnomes

I bet you’re sorry that you asked this question! LOL 😆

After reading this thread, I need a drink!!!
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david1950 Aug 2023
I’m surprised the comments got heated, some aggressive. I thought it would remain a calm discussion. It’s OK to have different points of views.

I hope you’re all right Gnomes.
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Go for it! At her age, what does it matter? So much “do this, don’t do that” in the nanny-state health advisories. I mean…why don’t you ask her? If she wants a cocktail or two, then she gets ‘em. She is of legal drinking age!
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BurntCaregiver Aug 2023
Agreed. At that age what does it matter? So long as the environment is safe.

~BC 8/11/23
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My folks drank wine and Amaretto or Anisette frequently in their old age. They never had an issue with it, and I can't imagine your MIL will either. What's the alternative? Getting her doctor to prescribe anti anxiety meds? Is that better than a daily wine cooler? I think not. I hardly think you'd be creating an "alcohol habit" in her and anyway, is that worse than popping Ativan, Xanax or Valium? Each substance has its own risks to deal with. Some worse than others.

Good luck to you
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bianca12 Aug 2023
Ah- It sounds like you folks were Italian(?). My dad was too. Mom, who I am caretaker for, is Irish, but contrary to the stereotype, almost never drank…
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My mother is 98, she has a drink everyday, she is pickled that is why she is still alive!
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I'm on the same page as NeedHelpWithMom! When I first read this question, I thought the caregiver was asking if alcohol was okay for the CAREGIVER 😂 Personally, I had a friend suggest I keep a bottle of rum in my bathroom - for my use while MIL visited. Got to love friends like that!!
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
LOL 😆
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I was reading my Bible this morning and came across this verse and thought of this post and just had to share.

"Stop drinking only water and use a little wine because of your stomach and frequent illnesses." 1 Timothy 5:23

So there you have it straight out of God's Word.
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david1950 Aug 2023
God’s word…

God also says (Bible):
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife”

Clearly, you should NOT always take every word literally.

I believe in the equality of men and women. I’m a male feminist.

Likewise with the quote about wine, don’t take every word literally.

Alcohol, even in very small amounts, can potentially affect an elderly person a lot. I myself wouldn’t give an elderly person alcohol, just to be safe. There are lots of alternative beverages.

David
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Most ccrcs and other facilities have alcohol.
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When I was looking into facilities for my dad, many of them had happy hours, 1 or 2 drinks limit depending on the drink. Some even allowed weed, stunned me.

As long as her doctor says alcohol is fine, I would give it a shot. Maybe not daily though.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't worry about addiction unless she has a history of abusing any substance.

Remember, dependancy and addiction are NOT the same beast.

Best of luck helping her not be an anxious mess.
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BurntCaregiver Aug 2023
@Isthisrealyreal

Yes, dependency and addiction are the same thing. I thought they weren't until I learned from Al-Anon that they are.
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Hey, I don’t know if I should be answering this question! I live in New Orleans and assisted living facilities here have ‘happy hour’ accompanied by live entertainment!

Seriously though, I feel that it depends on the particular individual. You could speak with your MIL’s doctor to see how he/she feel about her drinking a small amount of alcohol.

Does she have any issues with addiction in her history? If she does, nix the drinking idea.

Best wishes to you and your family.
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
MD,

Yeah, we certainly aren’t ‘anywhere USA! ‘We are unique!

My daughter’s insurance was cheaper when she moved out of state! The agent made a comment about insurance being higher in New Orleans due to our ‘drive through’ Daiquiri shops!

Speaking of weddings, my friend’s daughter is a wedding planner. She only does very expensive, upscale weddings. She has a great reputation and makes a great living!
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