I have a good friend that's in her early 80's with eye problems. I'm looking for suggestions to get her to stop driving.

As others have said, every state has their own rules. Driving with one eye or being "legally blind" can oftentimes be okay. My former mother-in-law lost the sight in one eye and was able to continue driving. A friend of my son is considered "legally blind" but wears corrective lenses to conteract that. When just on the cusp of being considered legally blind, some correction IS possible. My older brother was incensed that our mother was still driving because "she's blind." I had to correct him on that, because "legally blind" and "blind" is NOT the same thing. At that time her eyesight in one eye was like 20/200, but the other was 20/60. I told him that one of my eyes is also 20/60 (I did have to get corrective lenses to pass the DMV eye test.) I was driving at the time, at night, when discussing this. I said let me close my better eye and see what happens - hey, look, I can see the road! I can drive okay! It is not blurry - that dx just means you cannot see at some given distance, not that you are blind.

When both eyes go beyond 20/60 and are NOT correctable with lenses, the doctor is required to report this to the DMV (or other authority who would then pass that to the DMV.) Our mother is also being treated for macular degeneration, first in that "bad" eye, now the other as well, to preserve her eyesight. I take her to the appointments, and it includes reading the eye "chart" beamed on the wall. I am constantly amazed and appalled at how they encourage her to squint, blink or whatever to read the lines she can, and then indicate that she passes!! The last visit her "good" eye could not read much. From my experience, doctors are not amenable to reporting this if it is borderline - they have their reasons, and some are understandable. They do have some rules to follow. They will NOT report it until they decide the results are conclusive. Look at it from their point of view - do THEY want to be the one depriving the person of that privilege? The most many will do is tell the person they should not be driving. A lot of good that does! I recently asked for paperwork to back up reporting blind on her taxes (last visit her eyesight drifted beyond that early limit) but got nothing. Her next appointment is next month and I will ask again for this (tax preparer did not check the box, so it won't be needed, however I want it anyway! Because the MC costs offset her tax liability, it is a moot point now.)

Getting someone who is questionable to stop driving is difficult. Even with doctor support, I have read a number of posts where the person continued to drive despite what the doctor said AND despite having the license revoked! The best thing that can be done is remove the temptation, however this is difficult enough when it is family, almost impossible if it is not. You cannot legally take your friend's keys or her car. Her family probably could, but you will need their assistance. The last renewal of mom's license required going to the DMV. Had my other brother told me about the accident she had prior to the one I was aware of (almost same damage!), I would NOT have enabled her to go there, with doctor letter in hand saying her eyesight was sufficient (needed if one cannot pass the DMV eye test.) The auto-body shop owner was the one who told me. From that point on, I tried to encourage her to sell the car and stop driving. She had already stopped driving at night, knowing she could not see well enough. Her distances driven were also reduced - eventually to just out the condo access, down that road to the grocery/pharmacy/CU. In my opinion, any TWO FEET was a concern. Last I discussed it with her, her response was "Oh, I don't go far, just down the road to the store." Mom, I don't care if you go 2 feet - if you HIT someone, they can sue you and take everything you have! Didn't matter. She, in her mind, was just fine. With the initial onset of dementia, I was concerned not only about her safety, but others. When she called once and said she needed help with a flat tire, I brought my mini-pump to fix it. What I found was a tire split open from the hub to the ground, the metal around the wheel well all bent up and likely other damage. YIKES! I asked what she hit, and she was clueless - nothing she says. It was obvious she hit something but no idea what or where. Even the rear tire/rim needed to be replaced!

I enlisted my local brother to have a chat with her (got AAA to put the spare donut on and took it to be fixed/replaced) because I saw the onset of dementia as well as the damage to the car. He did all the talking, he took the set of keys. I just stood behind him. We got the sad 5yo face, like you took her prized toy away. On the way out, I told him I know she has another set of keys, and asked if he could disable it. He pulled the battery cable. Next day, at a service for my ex, she called ME. I let it go to voice and then went outside to retrieve it. Madder than all heck, demanding her keys back, it is HER car! I called her back and said I did not touch your keys (the truth!). Well, who did then? You're so smart mom, you figure it out, and I hung up on her. The next day I got an even NASTIER call demanding that I get down there RIGHT NOW and fix whatever I did to her car! So, there was indeed another key for the car and she was going to drive it!!! I told her (again the truth) I did not touch her car (my idea, but I did not do it!) I just said I am not a mechanic, I do not know what is wrong with it, maybe the battery is just dead from sitting so long. Note here that brother had done all the talking, but she did NOT call him, she called ME!

In addition to that tire damage, both front fenders had white stripes from going in/out of the garage. Previously the back of the driver's mirror was missing as well - response to that "it was there the last time I drove it" she tells my brother. He was to use it to drive to my son's wedding, and he found the inspection expired! I tried many times to explain to mom that the privilege to drive comes with responsibility - you have to maintain the vehicle, pass yearly inspections, renew plates and insurance, AND be able to drive safely. In one ear, out the other....

Bottom line is we NEVER got ANY doctor to back us up. A family member who works dispatch told me that even the police will not, perhaps can not, stop them, at least not until there is an accident or extremely errant driving observed that warrants it. Who wants to wait for that? The police are not everywhere and may not be there to prevent anything. It could involve serious injury or death!!! We just had to act. Then we had to listen to her bitch and moan, demand her car back and whine about not having her "wheels" and then bemoan that the worst thing that she ever did was give up her "wheels". That last one was amusing, because eventually, in her mind, SHE gave it up!

In your case whaleyf, you can try any or all of the suggested methods - see if DMV will test (not written test, actually test eye and driving test) for the renewal, contact the police to inquire, see if your DMV allows reporting, enlist help from her doctor(s). Please don't be surprised when any/all of them refuse to act. I would focus on the family and see to it that they take the car, pretend it failed inspection and either keep telling her it is being worked on, or it had to be junked. If she cannot afford to buy another, the problem would be solved.

I told the doctors (two of them) that she would like to know if it's safe for her to drive. They never answered that question. Avoided it like the plague. I asked them point blank, should she be driving? They ignored my question. It looks like she'll be loosing her eye. No fix for it. However, they did put a long lasting contact lens in the eye which is suppose to stop the pain. He called it a "bandaid contact". She has calcium deposits on her eye and her cornea is swollen which is causing the pain. Her eye was able to stop squinting and she said it wasn't hurting. However, she is very sensitive to light. I did talk her into getting a good pair of wrap around glasses that would block the sun. So maybe that will help. I noticed (while I was driving her) that she wasn't having any problems keeping her eye open during the drive. A huge improvement. I will be checking with the DMV because her birthday is next week and see what they think. I'll also be calling her brother's and reading them the riot act about fixing her junker of a car. She's going for an e-check today and the car is probably going to pass.

I just contacted the DMV and was told that a doctor needs to fill out a confidential physician report or I need to have a doctor write a letter and then I can file a report that would start the process of suspending the license. However, no doctor = no action by DMV. I would call your states DMV and find out what they require. My dad's optometrist said his 1 good eye had enough vision for him to drive. Uugghh!

Kudos to you for caring enough to do something about this. Hugs from all us drivers!

Just to lighten it up a little: My hubby was seeing an occupational therapist early in the dementia journey. He couldn't understand what they were doing for him--nor could I really, so I suggested that at the next appointment he ask the OT exactly what the agenda was. The OT said, "I can do three things for you: First, I can help you with your upper body strength; second, I can help you with your memory, and third, I can administer a test to see if you can go back to driving." (The caregiver and I just about fell out of our chairs at that one!) But hubby replied, "I don't need any help with my upper body strength, I can do that myself; I don't need any help with my memory because my wife remembers everything (!!!), and I know I can drive a car but I could never pass the written test." Needless to say, that was the end of OT for us! :)

whaleyf: She needs to be seen by a retinologist to be tested for Macular Degeneration stat. Bear in mind that there are two types of the eye disease-dry (lesser) or wet (worse). Take the car keys away before she kills someone.

Wicked bad driver FIL flunked the drivers test the first time, so they let him take it again and somehow he passed... He's had several accidents in the last months, which no one would know except one of his sons is his ins agent!

One thing to remember - the DMV can issue an ID card. Mthr had lost her purse so I stopped by the courthouse in her hometown where she was born and where she married, and we had other documents already to satisfy the new ID requirements. I went in and told them we needed to get her an identification card. I offered to fill out the form for her and the examiner whispered to me, is she turning in her license and I said yes. She was none the wiser. She was beyond the ability to drive, but needed an ID for the hospital where she needed cancer surgery (100% successful in removing a softball sized malignancy from her colon). I am so thankful I took her for an ID!

We live in Ohio. She brought up the fact that people with vision in only one eye drive just fine. That's true. I'm one of them. But my eyes have been like that since birth. And I adjusted to it with no problem. She has to hold her eye shut (won't wear a patch) and the pain keeps her distracted. So she's driving with one hand and in pain. Yesterday we were at a food bank together and she stood on top of me at the table stepping on me. She realized she didn't know I was even there as she didn't see me. Scary. If I don't get help from the doctor I'll call the DMV. Her license renewal is coming up soon. I really like this friend and the last thing I want to see happen is a news headline that an elderly lady in her 80's has killed a guy on a bike because she lost control of her car. Happens way too much.

When both my friends for whom I am POA continued to drive after their licenses were revoked, because they forgot about that, I called Adult Protective Services for advice. A lady came out to interview them and I was there first so she would be let in. They had refused other evaluators the doctor had sent. The husband sounded very credible for the first minute or so and than began repeating himself because he forgot what he had already said. The lady asked how they got their groceries and the husband responded they went to the story like usual. She asked about their licenses being revoked and the husband responded with a big surprise: "They are?!" Later, when interviewing the husband, she asked what he thought they should do with their car if they couldn't drive and he replied "Sell it and get some money out of it!" At that point I was able to get him to give me the keys (He had refused before when I asked) and I could move the car out of their garage to a friends garage while we got it ready to sell. He later forgot all about this and we got a call one morning from my panicked friend saying "our cars are gone!" So, for me, APS was the key in making some progress at this stage of their lives. I learned later that their eye doctor was the one who alerted the DMV about their needing a test, which neither would have been able to pass. Rather than take the test, they just didn't respond and the revocation was automatic. But, they still had their old licenses in their billfolds and thought everything was fine.

Report to Adult Protective Services and the Police department. They will have her do a driver's test, written and actual driving. She won't have a choice once they are easily able to determine that she should not be behind the wheel.

It probably depends on your state as to whether you can report it, but I'd give it a try. Be prepared to be frustrated. My mom basically has no sight in one eye and has some cognitive issues, but they let her keep her license. We try to keep offering her rides, to take her shopping, etc., to minimize her driving (especially at night) but she refuses to stop driving. We've even set her up on Uber so she has an alternative (no public transport near her).

Anyone may report any driver to their State's DMV as being a potential "unsafe" driver that needs to be investigated. The State always has the power to revoke a license of any person who is deemed to be an unsafe driver.

My Gson had an epileptic seizure Xmas 2016. His neurologist was going to let him drive just to work and back, about 10mls. His primary reported him to DMV. My Gson hadn't driven since Xmas. He heard from DMV in March saying as of April he had to turn in his license and reapply in Oct. if he had no further seizures. One of our local police officers tried to get his own mother's licence revolked here in NJ. He was told that she would have to have an accident that would tie into the ALZ before it could be revolked. I think once you r diagnoised with ALZ / Dem that a doctors note stipulating this should be enough to revolk it.

When asking for my mother-in-law, our local DMV told me that being legally blind in one eye would not cause her to lose her driver’s license. Luckily she gave up driving on her own.

Oh, and in CT anyway there is a free screening/re-test thing for elderly and victims of medical issues that affect motor and cognitive skills, any PT can and should be able to guide you to it. The problem is it doesn't seem to be required in any real way, at least not until they go put themselves in the program anyway. The doctor can recommend/order/ refer them but simply not scheduling the review seems to get you out of any requirements. I saw several patients trying to get their driving privileges back through this process but as far as I can tell it was simply because they bought in to the idea they were somehow barred from driving until they passed this review but I don't think they ever actually lost their license or where barred from driving legally. Now I imagine if they were refereed to this, didn't go or pass and had an accident it could be used against them in a legal suit but if they are stopped for running a stop sign or something their license would still show as valid, no info to police or anything. But this type of program probably exists in other states as well and might be a way to curtail your friend...it might be helpful to have a doctor involved with that though to say I want you to do this testing to see when your ready to drive, something like that...maybe it doesn't help your situation as much. Sorry.

If you can go legal route and quickly enough, great but that isn't always easy. We convinced my mom, who still flirts with the idea she might drive again at some point (not happening), after her stroke not to drive even though legally she still could by stressing that we, her children could be held responsible if she had an accident. It's a fact that because we were aware of the problems and that the doctor was discouraging it according to what we were told, that we could be held liable because we had that knowledge and allowed her to drive. Now to be fair it applies mostly to letting her drive with us in the car which is what was being proposed to see how her reaction time was or so she could "prove" her ability and there is a part of her that knows, most of the time, there might be something to the idea she shouldn't be driving. We also work hard at making transportation a non issue, even though she can't just get in the car whenever she want's she is hooked up with a van service (I do all the scheduling for her) through the town & local public transportation company as well as Uber (I can also arrange for her) and my brother as well as her cousin to give her rides. But the idea she might be putting us in harms way is what has helped convinced her to leave the keys hanging on the hook. Unfortunately her car keeps starting and running by all rights it shouldn't be road worthy anymore but it is, darn Toyota's!

States apparently differ but in CA anyone can report a driver to the DMV anonymously. DMV then sends a letter telling the person they have to come in for a test. Not sure if it's a driving test or just a written test. Might depend on the reasons given. In my husband's case (dementia) the doctor recommended he stop driving (I'd already spoken with her & caregiver was with me to report his issues) & he was furious but he did stop. Dr reported to the county which reported to the DMV & he got a letter from DMV after a couple of months telling him if he didn't come in within 30 days to take a test his license would be canceled. He set the letter aside & didn't do anything with it, and didn't try to drive again until a couple of years later when he forgot that he didn't drive.

I had a similar problem and took a relative to the DMV for a renewal and spoke to them about this person mental health and poor driving skills.. The day I went a women who was a FRIEND of my relatives pretty much blew me off and let HER PASS. I contacted the DMV and was told there was nothing they could do. Can you believe that. No employee investigation, no repercussions. NOTHING. My advice is to alert the police and when you know she is going to get out in the car and perhaps kill someone they can follow her and give her a ticket so she can go in front of a Judge to determine her ability. And then PRAY he takes her License away.

Franks what the hell is wrong with your state that law will get people killed and no one cares

Requirements differ from state to state. I could provide more information if I know the state. It is the ophthalmologists or optometrists, responsibility to report if their patient does not meet the visual requirements. I have work as a ophthalmic technician for 30+ years. Sometimes a patient is permitted to drive day time hours only. We have honestly had patients drive 45 minute to their appointment with 20/400 vision in both eyes and may have been driving this way for years! Also...when a patient has cataracts, their vision could 'white out' in sunlight. This is why we do a 'glare test.'  They may see 20/40 on the chart and 20/400 when a 'glare test' is done.

Franks,

That is horrible....share that with the Mississippi tourism board.....I know I wont be driving through your fine state anytime soon!!! Some times common sense is scarce!

I hope you don't live in MS. My Dad was legally blind for 40 years, so he got Mom to drive for him. Then she came down with Alzheimer's. Our family was trying so hard to get them to stop driving after 3 minor wrecks. Would you believe that they both had someone to drive them to the DMV & RENEWED their DLs! Dad had someone to lead him in & Mom was in a wheelchair by that time. I called the state office, but they said there was nothing they could do until the law changed which allows anyone to renew their DL if they are able to sign the form. So no help from them at all!

First tell your friend that she needs to stop driving until her situation improves. Maybe you can take her keys? Don't report her to anyone until you let her know that is your plan.

Call the DMV and tell them the situation. Had the same problem with my Dad. We called the police, who knew him because we come from a small town, and they took care of it after he side-swiped a couple of cars and his insurance went up.

In my area, a seven-year-old girl was crossing at the crossing as her school let out. A lady in her 70s (or 80s) hit and killed her. She was blind in one eye and couldn't see out of the other (glaucoma). Tragic and senseless.

While your friend does have one eye that works, you say her pain can distract her. Plus, she's likely like able to compensate yet with the lose of one eye. Plus, with her advancing age, her reaction would be slower if she did detect someone suddenly in her lane. I get it about not wanting to lose independent and having to schedule someone to pick her up, someone's life just isn't worth being stubborn. Hopefully you'll get the right answer this Friday. Thank you for pushing to do the right thing.

My father was blind in 1 eye since WWII when he was treated for Malaria with Quinine.

He drove fine as he followed the rules of "check the mirrors often" - never an accident.  And he drove in New York City.  We're talking 'major traffic' on a daily basis.

He drove until he was 83 - and only stopped due to a heart condition that his cardiologist was afraid would impair his reflexes.

I had to turn in my brother-in-law, who had Parkinsons and drove erractically. Sooner or later he would have been involved in a serious accident, and I didn't want to be responsible for his or an innocent person's death. I just called the DMV, explained the situation, and they were grateful for the information. The next time he went to renew his DL, they pulled it. He never knew why, but it was a huge relief to our entire town!

Most DMV's require you fill out paperwork telling them why you do not feel the person is safe to drive anymore. You can often find the paperwork online at your DMV website. List your reasons, including that she can't see well and list her doctors names, addresses, and phone#'s. It takes many months to complete the process. In the meantime, keep in touch with her needs and be there when she needs a ride. Good luck.

I would write out what you've shared here and make sure her doctor gets that information before her appointment. When she checks in, hand it to the office person and ask that the doctor see it prior to seeing your friend. You should be able to do it in a way that is unseen by your friend. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

I'm taking her to see the doctor this Friday and at her request, going in with her.