My mother thinks I should uproot my life and move to her town. I work for a school district and her response was they have schools here. I also have 2 big dogs that I don’t want near her in fear of an accident (they don’t know how big they are). It doesn’t make financial sense for me to do this with the housing market like it is in our area. I feel like a horrible daughter but I don’t want to move. I’ve been on my own for two years since losing my spouse and am already stressed and depressed. Please help me navigate a response to her. Thank you.
one, mom or not, needs to tell you what to do! Take care of yourself first …then you can be at a place where you can take care of her, doesn’t have to be hands on……bless you!!
I have a few suggestions on what to say to your mom. Hope one of them works for you.
"Mom, only minor children live with parents. I'm too old to be living with my mommy again. I have to have my own castle and be the queen of it."
"Mom, moving and uprooting my life is out of the question. No, I won't discuss it. Period."
"Yes, mom, I love you, but that doesn't mean I love LIVING with you (or anyone for that matter). I prefer being on my own."
"I know a few people whose adult children move back to live with them. The children are now living like rebellious teenagers. The parents have to cook for them and pick up after them. You don't want me to move back and do that to you, do you mom?"
"Sorry mom, I like living on my own. I don't want to live under anyone's roof or rules."
"Seriously mom, you think you like me living with you now, but trust me, you won't like me and my many bad habits."
"Mom, I like to be in control. Once I move in, you are going to hate me for trying to control your life."
1) A live-in companion/caregiver moving into her home so she can remain there.
2)Moving to assisted living where she is if she wants to remain in that area.
3) Move to your area to be closer to you. In an assisted living facility. Not in with you.
Tell her these are her choices and if she refuses them all, she's on her own. Arrange for the cops to do a wellness check on her once a week.
A person on this forum (I can't remember the name, more's the pity) made a terrific statement that a person's children aren't their old age insurance policies. No truer words have ever been said.
Speak to your mother. If she's not on board with any options that do not include you moving into her home and becoming a slave, then she's on her own.
I agree that you should NOT uproot your life and move, however your Mom, who is not working, can move to where you are,
We only get one chance to live this life and what we do with it does matter. Some choices are harder then others. When it came to my parents and caring for them and fighting for them, I did so at a great cost, but I felt in my heart I had no other choice. I did it because it was in my heart to do so. I felt it was the right thing and the compassionate thing to do. I too am alone and a woman. However, I found the strength and I found the courage and I found a way.