My 80 year old husband has endstage COPD and heart failure. He just sits all day and doesn't even try to do anything. Well before he got this bad he had an affair that devastated me. I was about to leave, then his health took a turn for the worse. I am only 63 and have had cancer twice and got zero help from him. Now I feel trapped taking care of him. I so want to move on with my life, but since we have been married 35 years responsibility is overwhelming me. I don't know what to do.
you can be getting a divorce and live under the same roof as long as you can prove you are separated. You can settle all financial matter and common property and then when the papers are signed, leave
It can be done.
Look into hospice or place him in LTC soon for your own sanity. Do you have kids nearby? If so maybe you can enlist them to provide temp help until you catch your breath.
I took responsibility for the care of my jerk stepFIL who had Parkinsons, no money because he was lazy, deep in debt and wouldn't give anyone PoA. We tried to provide adequate care for him but he would't even cooperate yet expected us to be at his beck and call. So I allowed him to become a ward of the state and he died alone in a crummy facility. There were days that I did feel guilty for that, but then I remembered that that was the retirement he had "planned" for. Get good professional advice and then start living.