I'm 61 with breast cancer and I have no one. Does anyone know of a place to call for help or a place to go other than a nursing home?

Don’t worry about the house 🏡 get treatment . I don’t know much about Texas . There are nice people in Austin , Texas . Sounds like you need some real healing and nurturing . Cannabis and CBD can be good - maybe you can work at a hostel or a small organic farm in exchange for Room and Board . You could try Upaya Buddhist center in Santa Fe , NM apply online . There is also a acupuncture clinic there . This is a true concern of mine I have had Friends die after their parents or siblings pass and they get sick - the stress wipes out the body . Check out Host a Sister on Facebook and put up a ad . You will be ok . Try following a macrobiotic diet - brown rice Miso soup , tea - cleans out the lymph system . Apply to some holistic places in exchange for a room . This is very sad I have the same concerns for myself as I have been very sick this month . The stress is overwhelming . Good luck think positive thoughts and keep reaching out .

What I am feeling right now is that you are a woman who has been slammed. Just as you were about to have some normalcy to your life, you had the wind totally knocked out of your sail. The previous years drained you. I totally get that. Just the words breast c (I never use the whole word because I refuse to give it a real name or title) are enough to shock the entire mental/physical body. Totally understand that, too. Right now you can't see how strong you are. You took care of these two people in your life without the support of anyone else. You many not be able to see your strengths, but I know they are there.

First talk with your doctor again. Take a list of questions with you to your appt so you don't rely on your tired brain to remember what to ask. Find out what your treatment options are: chemo (radiation) first, then surgery (neoadjuvant care) - or - surgery, then chemo and/or radiation. Chemo first means the doctor can see if treatment is working/change drugs/check again - then remove the tumor. Several options for surgery/rebuilding the boob that can be discussed as well. Ask about all options.

C treatment has come a long way. There are the old standard protocols and now there are 'designer' treatments suited to the type of c you have. They determine what drives your c and use drugs that shut those things off to supply growth to the tumor. If you have heard all the old stories about how sick someone got during treatment, set them aside for now. There are plenty of meds to prevent that, to prevent much of the suffering that the cure used to create. It is very possible for you to do this without personal aide type help.

Perhaps you haven't been abandoned by your friends - you have just lost touch with the other huge portions of work you had on your own plate. You were removed from their life. They still worked and played and things just didn't work out for all of you to see each other. Try to reconnect - put your hurt feelings aside to be open to being social again.

You live in 'their' home. If the home is being sold, who is going to get the proceeds if you are not being included? You will be moving somewhere if the house is sold. Find your new place to live: small efficiency to start. Take the things that have meaning to you and your personal belongings: Boxes to go to new place and some things to storage if necessary. Get a local moving company to get everything you want out of current house and sorted/placed to new residence. Then walk away from the house and let the person who gets money from the house deal with all the rest of contents. Don't put one more dime into the upkeep or utilities once you find your own place - your money pays for your living expenses.

If you can't connect with old friends, find new ones. If you believe in God, I highly recommend a church. Reconnect spiritually.

Breast c does not always mean you've been given your expiration date. The doctors can refer you to counseling and other services. If you are income limited, check with your county for available services. Right now you're at the bottom of a hole looking up. You are stronger that you can believe at the moment. Stand up and you're half way out of the hole. Then take a step...and another...and you'll be out of the hole. You can do this!

Do you qualify as a senior? There should be a local senior services agency in your area that can hook you up with help of all kinds. Medicaid should also help you with transportation etc. do you belong to a church? At mine there is a pastor of pastoral care in charge of just this kind of thing who helps with the various benevolent programs the church offers. Can you get help through The American Cancer Society? These are just a few thoughts as to where to reach out. Also, ask your doctor. They should know how to get you started on finding help. God bless you as you fight this. Trust in God and ask him to help you. He is there for the lonely and broken hearted, the sick and the outcast. You have helped others, now don’t be afraid to ask for help for yourself. 🙏❤️

Tumbleweed, another thought:   

The infusion center where my sister got chemo and whole brain rads treatment had a few side programs for those in treatment and their families.    There was a art group which focused on colored pencil art.   Another group was pottery, and there were others which I don't recall now. 

I went to several of the colored pencil gatherings, met others, and learned a lot about colored pencil art.   Found an online colored pencil forum and learned a lot more.   I was amazed at the depth of art that can be created through this medium.

One of the women had periodic get togethers at her condo, on a river, and I was invited.   We had a nice lunch, chatted about art, went for a ride on her boat, and relaxed.   I learned so much that I looked at pencil art in a different way.   All of the women were supportive, even if they didn't have experience with cancer.

These infusion center sponsored groups offered excellent and valuable support.    Ask your oncologist if there are similar groups, whether sponsored through a hospital or an affiliated infusion center.


I also explored Gilda's Club and was very impressed, but the first meeting was too emotional and I didn't follow through with joining.   It was just too soon after my sister's death.

Where are you located?

Please don't give up on yourself!  Breast cancer is not a death sentence.  Reach out to the agencies below and allow yourself to accept help.  I am thinking and praying for you

In addition to contacting Cancer Support groups and perhaps local churches, see if there is a Shepherd's Center in your area. They have volunteers who help with shopping, errands and providing rides to medical appts. People in the Cancer Support groups might offer some more ideas for getting help and for taking care of yourself to add to some of the good ideas people have offered. If volunteers cannot do all you need, you might sometimes need to hire a home health aid: for instance, if you need a "responsible party" to pick you up after a medical procedure. In some cases, a doctor can arrange for you to stay in the hospital overnight for "observation" after what might otherwise have been outpatient surgery or treatment. Investigate your options. If you begin to find some possibilities, you might feel a little more hopeful. If you can find answers for one problem at a time, you will feel you have some control in managing your circumstances.

Could you contact a local college to see if nursing students and/or Social Work students could help you? Perhaps they could get school credit for this, like an internship Also, in years past, I had read that the American Cancer Society or a similar organization might be able to provide free transportation for cancer treatment, but I'm not sure if it was nationwide or just in certain geographical areas. Also, could you contact your local Area on Aging to see if they have any volunteers who could help you? Also, could you contact a local house of worship to see if they have any volunteers who could help out? Good luck.

Call the Susan G. Komen organization and see if they have any resources. Also, ask if there are social workers who could help. Below are some other organizations:
National Council On Aging. ...
AARP. ...
Programs of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE®) ...
Eldercare Locator. ...
Area Agencies on Aging (AAA) ...
National Institute on Aging. ...
Meals on Wheels. ...
Health Finder.

This does not help your personal situation at all, but I wanted to add a note about something that I observed in my own neighborhood. There was a young woman who inherited her grandparents' home. She was unable to care for herself. The home fell into ruin--Christmas lights that stayed up for years. I understand that next to her Grandfather's chair was an ashtray he used for his cigars, and when the home was emptied the ashtray was still there after so many years, untouched. Everything in the home, literally untouched. I do not know what her issues were, but she was not competent to care for anything at all, and completely reclusive.

One day she disappeared. Soon after a company came with a dumpster, and literally threw everything into it. Dishes out of the cabinets, into a trash bin. All the furniture, into the dumpster. A couple of neighbors, in disbelief, went over to see what was going on--couldn't believe it. The "emptiers" let them go through the home and take anything they wanted; they saved a few items that had been very special to the grandmother.

It is possible that I am going to need to do this with my mother's home. She has become a hoarder. My kids are scattered around the country, and do not need or want any of her many things. I am 10 hours away, with the earliest signs of dementia showing in me. :( For the woman above, they did not bother with a sale or anything--the family just needed it gone. The home was sold as-is, as a fixer upper and a lovely family lives there now. There was no painting or cleaning before the sale, unless they had a professional company do a once-through after the home was sold.

There are apparently people who specialize in these things today. Horrible so many of our lives have reached this point.

One more thing--if you get in touch with a cancer group of some kind, you may very well find a group of volunteers who will help you through chemo. Your situation is common enough that there may be people in your are who have organized support for it. Blessings and best of luck!!

Gilda's Club is a community organization for people with cancer, their families and friends. Local chapters provide meeting places where those who have cancer, their families, and friends can join with others to build emotional and social support as a supplement to medical care. Free of charge and nonprofit, Gilda's Club chapters offer support and networking groups, lectures, workshops and social events in a nonresidential, homelike setting. The club was named in honor of the original Saturday Night Live cast member Gilda Radner, who died of ovarian cancer in 1989.
In 2009, Gilda's Club merged with The Wellness Community to form the Cancer Support Community, although local branches generally opted to retain the name Gilda's Club. Gilda's Clubs generates funds to support its programs through events often hosted by notable figures.

Go to hospice

Good Morning,

You are not alone in this. And the fact that you are reaching out is a good thing. You know enough to speak up. The help may not come from the people you would hoped would have stepped forward but it may come from another source.

You could try the Gloria Gemma Breast Cancer Resource Foundation
Mandy@gloriagemma.org with any questions. They could put you in contact
with resources in your State. Programs and Services (401) 861-4376 or
info@gloriagemma.org

How about if you contact a social worker. Usually there are support groups for Women with Breast Cancer, workshops etc. I was under the impression that there was a lot of networking and resources at hospitals and Women's care.

Perhaps you could speak with an Elder Attorney for a "free consultation" for an hour to see if somehow you could get paid from the sale of house for your time and work that you put into caregiving. I wouldn't be polite about this.

The sooner you can join an online support group where you can share with other women who have walked in your shoes, the better. The more heads you put together on this one, the better.

The best help are people who have been through it. Survivors of breast cancer who have compassion, know the routine and will give you support and a new group of friends.

I hope this was of some help to you. You are in my prayers!

Call Social Security today to make an appointment for SSD/SSI at 1-800-772-1213. The date that you make the appointment is considered your application date, so it is essential that you call in February or you lose a month’s worth of benefits. SSA is backed up, so your actual appointment won’t be for several weeks, so move forward with your treatment plans in the meantime. From your posting, I am guessing that you have mental health issues, and those issues should be included in the information that you provide to SSA. FYI, even if you have not been working, you can be entitled to SSI benefits as a disabled individual.

You do NOT have to do this alone. There are yet-to-be made friends out there. Lots of good advice from others here. Please start by calling wherever you were diagnosed and being forthright about your story. Whatever your choice about treatment, you can make the most of whatever is the course of the rest of your life. Please be as kind to yourself as you would to someone else during this difficult changing season of your life.

Hi, Take a minute to breathe. You cared for your parents with horrific times. You are strong. You’ll have team of medical professionals. You can beat this (and the odds are it’s a matter of months — not years).

Call 2-1-1. They have a network of resources and I believe your situation — housing, meals, assistance — is in their wheelhouse.
http://www.211.org/about-us

🙏🙏 🙏

Being alone is so awful. I am sorry for your situation. Even if you don't attend a church, you might consider seeking some help through your local one. You surely need some emotional support as well as someone to get you to appointments and help you clean up the house. I hope you can find some help.

CURE magazine is also a good source for those with cancer.   It used to publish a directory of cancer resources, but I don't get the magazine any more so I'm not sure if it's only online or if paper publications are still available.    You can get information though at the website:

https://www.curetoday.com/

Gilda's Club is also a good support facility.

Breast cancer survivor here. I was able to get my mastectomy, recover very quickly, go through adjuvant chemo for 6 months, (one treatment every three weeks. I worked all the time I did this. I never upchucked once. I never lost my hair. My cancer had already gone into two nodes, and yet, THIRTY FIVE YEARS LATER I am still here.
I encourage you to get treatment.
Go to the MD who diagnosed you; get yourself on medicaid or whatever else you might need through their social worker's help. Access all the help you can in your community for support. Whether you are in a shelter or anywhere else to live, you can get through this with the help of accessing what is out there for you.
That's my advice. I can only advise you. It is up to you to choose to stay, and fight, or to choose not to stay. You have neglected treatment of this. That puts you behind, but mine wasn't found until it showed up in two fused lymph nodes under my arm, and like I said, here I am, only stronger, and having learned a whole lot about how to survive and how to love life more every day I do.
I wish you the very best. You are not alone in trying to access care while being poor.
I am very very sorry. I hope the experiences of others here will help you; many of us are cancer survivors.

I too had breast cancer and in my case chose double mastectomy in 2015 so I'd never have to deal with that particular issue. It was very difficult.

Immediately, contact your county to see what aid (GA, food stamps) you might receive immediately if you are not already receiving this in addition to Medicaid. Your doctor may be able to sign disability papers regarding at least temporary disability.

As to their house, you've lived there three years. Assuming they owned, whoever is telling you that the house has to be sold right now to satisfy their inheritance (if any exists), is not telling you the truth. If the problem is that the property still has a note or a lien, the bank or creditor typically takes years to evict someone.

This is from a resource book I have.

The American Cancer Society 800- 227-2345
www.cancer.org.
Nationwide, community-based voluntary health organization devoted to defeating cancer through research, support and advocacy.

American Institute for Cancer Research 800-843-8114
www.aicr.org
This organization funds research and gives people practical tools and information to help them prevent and survive cancer.

CancerCAre, Inc 800-813-4673
www.cancercare.org
Provides free, professional support services to help all affected to cope with and manage the emotional and practical challenges arising from cancer. offers counseling, support groups, education, publications, workshops and financial assistance.

Check your local Area Agency on Aging and see if you qualify for services.
Check local Senior Center, many have Social Workers that can help you find services that might be of help.

AND....you need support of friends. Begin to reconnect with people that you have not been able to keep in contact with.
I have said that one of the things you need to do when you are a caregiver is to take care of yourself. One of the other things that you need to know how to do , and this is difficult...
ASK for help and
ACCEPT help.
People want to help but quite often they do not know what to do or what needs to be done. Asking for help is not an imposition, it is not "begging".

I am so sorry you are going through all of this.

First if you are not getting anything in regards to inheritance of the house etc I suggest you just stop cleaning and clearing out the house. Take what you want as a remembrance of your mother and say f--k it to the rest. You already gave up emough of your life no need to keep doing it.

Second the American cancer society has resources for help when going through treatments. For example they can give you rides to chemo. I would call them and see if they have other help and resources for you.