We were going to my moms on Lee’s days off and taking FIL to my BIL if we were gone a couple days. My husband is on vacation for 11 days starting last Thursday. Well I know many of you know that I had a nerve block done the beginning of August. I was woken up with this pain that is even worse than before Thursday morning. It hurt so bad I could barely breathe. So we didn’t go to my mom's that day and it was still bad Friday. Well I got a call from med alert 9 pm. I was so sick I didn’t hear it. We went down Saturday her entire face was black and blue. She fell into a door. The ambulance came and got her up and did a check but she refused medical treatment to go to the emergency room. Then I was talking to her hairdresser and she told me my mom fell Tuesday and the neighbor got her up. I am really worried. Plus her leg is swollen and it’s breaking the skin and oozing and I found a callous on the toe right next to the one that was amputated. My husband and I tried from Saturday until yesterday to make her go to the ER. We had to get back because my FIL was at the alcoholic BIL. Good news is she did go to the emergency room today and the CT is clear but they didn’t look at her leg or foot and she didn’t say anything. Her foot doctor is out until next monday. Anyway last night we picked up my FIL from my BIL but no one was there. I was getting message from my SIL all the time we were gone. He forgot to pack his depends even though we kept asking and he only took one pair of pants. She said in the message last night that he needs more care than they can give. Welcome to my world. The thing is BIL did nothing while he was there. He should use his FMLA but he would just drink all day. Lee tried calling him last night but my SIL said he came in asking where his dad was he was hammered and then went and sat in the garage to drink more. My SIL also found my FIL pills dropped in a bag and her granddaughter was coming and she eats everything. Then there is my health. Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated.
We all care about you and we want you to be and stay ok. Sending hugs.
Staff, everyone seems to be ignoring the”elephant in the room”. Lee’s Dad and your mom need to be someplace; especially your mom. My mom started falling too. But, she was always fumble-footed and so was her mom before her. Unfortunately that’s something I inherited too. But when Mom started falling every couple days, I knew something had to be done. The decision was made for me when she got a raging UTI and went off the wall. She was evaluated and the social worker told me she didn’t pass the tests to be able to live alone. She went to a nursing home.
Refresh my memory. Why aren’t you putting Mom in a facility? I predict at some point, she and FIL will both be living with you.
Since you have so much on your plate, in addition to your own medical problem, I'd try to figure out if mom is capable of making sound medical decisions or not. if she's competent, but, just wants to ignore her health and injuries, that's her choice, but, it seems that she doesn't mind creating a lot of extra work and misery for you. Would she do that, if she was thinking clearly? I might have her evaluated to see if she is competent. If not, she needs someone to step in and make her decisions. When my LO started falling a lot, suffering with fractured wrist, fractured foot, etc. she was having strokes. Not long after that she was diagnosed with dementia and not able to care for herself anymore or decide when she needed medical care.