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Maxi, the issue is that your mother wants you to come in to facilitate her life and dads how they would like to live it, and that’s incompatible in how you live your life.

No, you won’t bring a bedpan into a kitchen!
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Thanks Peggysue I started to be strong and she’s starting to listen. I even told her NO I’ll do it when I can! She never answered!
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Hi Cover999 You’re right - I started this thread and I agree it’s crazy! With all of the seriousness to it, I think we can all have a laugh otherwise we’re all going to the loony house!
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Leave. She can wipe herself.
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Maxi, has your Husband left yet?

I think you should seriously consider leaving with him.

I'd love you to list out why you can't go with him.

You have an opportunity to blow some whistles & gain help for your folks if on dry land. But if you are in the ship sinking with them you will go down with them. No-body will hear you.

The following was told to me by a very wise staff member of a rehab;

"It's no-one's fault, but the elderly or disabled person just sort of takes over"..

Specifically when a family member moves in to help. This may be a permanent situation, or a temporary one that blows out *like this*.
But the result is the same, the caregiver's own life as they knew it ends - they ALL start living the ONE life: the elder/disabled person's life.

It can start with enmeshment.
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Beatty my husband can’t come here for about 2-3 weeks. I’ll survive. I’m missing my wedding anniversary, but that’s ok. I never miss theirs though. My mom just said I don’t know what we would do without you and I really appreciate you helping us especially your father. I did this about 8 years ago when my Dad was in the hospital for 7 months and we went everyday to visit him. I’ve done this all of my life. I really don’t mind helping, but I been here 1 1/2 months. I need to tell her again I’m leaving in 3 weeks. Should I tell her again?
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Maxi, you put your parent's wedding anniversary before yours. That says a lot.

Theirs was 70 right? A huge special deal. Not many get to that!! Yours may not be a special number this year (?) so I get the situation differs.

But LOOK at it.
You attend your parent's anniversary but not to your own. Who are you married to?

Please look into that support group Barb suggested. Or another. Many do online sessions. I fear your parents' lives will eat the remainder of your life up.

If you want to stay. Do so. But know you risk losing a lot.
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sp19690 Jan 2023
Why is their anniversary more important than hers? She's 60 plus years old for goodness sakes and she visits them ALL the time. I don't understand everyone's obsession with the parents anniversary.
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Buy a bidet. Install. Hug Dad. Kiss Mom. Leave.
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maximus1 Jan 2023
We did buy one. Thank you!
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Why can't your parents move closer to you and live in independent living?
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maximus1 Jan 2023
They can’t afford where we live in Alexandria, VA and we can’t pay any more than what we are paying for their mortgage in Florida. They used up all of their money on my abusive brother. Where they live is
in a beautiful place and on the water. It’s not depressing for them. They really are self sufficient except for the fact that my mom had this issue, which we know will be resolved. My mom is panicking because literally she never was ill. I had breast cancer, not her.
My mom was like this since I came out of her womb. She’s always saying this may be her last trip or last time seeing us - so dramatic. She’s extremely impatient which drives all of us insane, What happened now is that I thought she wanted me to stay for good just to wipe her. I became frantic. Thank goodness she started doing it herself!
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My husband can’t come here for about 2-3 weeks. I’ll survive. I’m missing my wedding anniversary, but that’s ok. I never miss theirs though. My mom just said I don’t know what we would do without you and I really appreciate you helping us especially your father. You’ve always been with us helping out. I did this about 8 years ago when my Dad was in the hospital for 7 months and we went everyday to visit him. I’ve done this all of my life. I really don’t mind helping, but I’ve been here 1 1/2 months and I’m so tired of being under pressure and trying to please them. I just told her gently that don’t forget I’m leaving in 3 weeks. She said oh I hope I’m better by then and I need you to assist Dad with chores. I replied you are already getting better and there is nothing extra Dad will be doing for you. She said well I’ll have to call my friend up to sit with me. I said good. I told her I can’t live here. She said I know, but this is the time we need you. I said you’ll be ok. She said I hope so. Ok guys thanks for everything - all of you helped me sooo much! I love you guys! I’ll keep in touch soon.❤️💋. P.S. To my Italian Americans - how can 4 adults have so much drama in their lives? Holy crap! CASA DEI PAZZI (House of Crazies)
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Maximus, I want you to Google F.O.G. It stands for Fear, Obligation and Guilt. It's how your mother exercises the insane amount of control she does over you.

Is your brother still alive? Are your parents still sending him money?

You and you DH paying their mortgage is pretty insane unless you are fabulously wealthy.
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Barb, my dad stopped sending my brother money and paying his bills and now we don’t know where he is. Let’s put it this way, my husband’s salary affords me to be a stay-at-home wife and we can afford to pay for their mortgage.
This is the problem, my mom took advantage of my free time, and I let her. We also don’t have kids so I was too available for her. Really bad situation!
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I think you should circle a date on your calendar, not tell anyone about it, and sneak out that morning. I get the feeling you're going to just delay leaving indefinitely if you tell her a date. It's like smoking, better to go cold turkey than drag it out.
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Beatty Jan 2023
Agree. Otherwise it will be a fall, a feint, the hamd-to-the-forehead-swoon.. some drama or other.

Or... If you have decided to stay 2-3 weeks, stay! A LOT can be accomplished in that time!

#1 Make some Life for you. Start making some non-parent activities for yourself.

Get out early every day. Get to know your local cafe staff for a cuppa after you walk the dog. Or join a local gym, a walking club, the library, enrol the puppy in puppy school.

#2 Home Services. Start the research now. Call the local Aging Services, have a needs assessment booked, see what services they qualify for. Set these up.

#3 Get busy with the paperwork. Ensure POA or springing POA is all in place. Ensure MPOA is good so you can talk to their Docs when back at home too. Ensure their Primary Doc knows you are in town *temporarily*. Maybe welfare checks need to be established for when you leave. Ensure Dad's Cardio Specialist knows he will need aftercare as his wife has been recently ill & has suspected cognitive issues.

#4 Start looking ahead. Is the condo going to let them *age in place* for long? You pay the mortgage, right? Is it in your name? Will you sell it when they need Assisted Living/Nursing Home? Or keep for your own retirement/holiday stay, or maybe for holiday let income? Tour some Assisted Living places. Look at the costs etc. Start looking into financial advice.

These 2-3 weeks can be spent planning, preparing & future proofing. This could be the silver lining here.

Take it on!
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Great ideas! They were and still are doing good on their own. We think what’s going to happen is they’re going to go downhill fast. My husband will be retiring soon and we planned to keep our condo and either live in Europe or just travel there for a few months at a time. We were going to bring my parents and set them up in an apartment in Spain, and we would travel and go back to visit them. They were doing so good that we forgot their ages. Now I’m frantic. My husband said don’t worry about it - what is he crazy? Our lives are ruined! My mother used to leave her mother for months at a time to travel - granted she lived with my aunt. We lived in a foreign country for the heck of it for 4 years only returning once a year to visit her mother . My mother’s answer to that was we weren’t as close. Meanwhile she cried saying I loved my mother so much. I never mentioned that they lived with us for 4 months every year up until recently to rent out their apartment that we’re paying for so they could pay bills and travel?! I didn’t mention that I see them every 2 months and leave my husband for 3 weeks at a time!? Ok now what happens to my husband and my new puppy? We love to travel too and hike and ride bicycles, but we want to do it in Europe? My parents accomplished everything they wanted to in their long life. Our lives are over! Who knows if my breast cancer returns to be metastatic too! PS By the way, my in laws were never in our lives.
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The holidays from Thanksgiving through New year is a bad time to start a diet, or really get anything going for health improvement, especially for the elderly. Are you their only child? I would say if you want to stay, stay, if you want to go, go. But do not resent her if you decide to stay. Maybe you waited too long to start to get a plan in place for them at this age. It is what it is. They have Home Health Aides that can come and bath her, wipe her down there, and set everything up. There are specially designed tools I think you can get to reach areas. My 85 year old mom fell 8 weeks ago and was laid up in bed for 3-4 weeks and just started feeling better getting around about a week ago. She refused a bed pan from me. Instead I had to lift her up by pulling her arms, and her screaming in pain, to get on the walker to go to the bathroom. And every time put her sneakers on, and off, and lift her legs one by one carefully because both severely nerve damaged and super sensitive from a handicapping car accident in 2008, back onto the bed. At least your mom has your dad. My mom lost my dad in 2002. I was washing sheets, setting up the Poise pads by the sink, flushing the toilet, everything, you name it. My mom worked very hard these past few weeks to get back to some normalcy, well, what is normal for us the past 14 years. I am sure people gave tons of suggestions on here for you. I would say if you do not know what to do call a social worker, because they got all the connections and information and contacts of who your mom can get help from, as well as all the knowledge as to what works and what does not work in cases like yours.
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Hi James, please read my post. People are not understanding that my mom weighs 200 pounds. My mom’s legs are practically atrophied from sitting down all day and not moving. No aide will be able to lift her up. Yes, aides can come in, but they are also lonely too and right now we’re trying to keep them independent as long as they can be. My Dad doesn’t want to move to where we live. They live on the water and live it!
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Also, where in my mother’s right mind does she think she’s not going into a facility in the future? My Dad this morning can’t even think. My mom weighs 200 pounds - who’s going to lift her up? She can hardly lift herself up off the toilet. She can hardly wipe herself. You’re right we need to start planning without them knowing it.
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ZippyZee Jan 2023
"Right Mind" has gone out the window at this point. Eventually, she'll be forced into one after a hospitalization, it's only a matter of time.
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Maximus, your lives are not over.

Why do you assume that because your parents will need care that YOU have to be the one to provide it?

Your parents need to be in a place (best is a Continuing Care Retirement Community) CCRC where they can start out at the level of care they need now and stay there with additional services as they age.

Right now, it sounds like your mother might qualify for Assisted Living. Have you investigated any facilities yet?

What they "want" does not mean that they "get" from you.

Your needs, your marriage matter.
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maximus1 - my mom also weights 200, even over that, is about 5 foot 6 inches tall. Both my mom's legs were CRUSHED in a severe car accident, every bone on both legs broken, from the toes to the thigh bones hardest bones in the body. One actually ripped the thigh muscle out and knocked out the knee. Took one of the worlds most renound surgeons at Shock Truama 3 moths to figure out that leg for repair. The other leg is severely damaged too. Plus the feet on fire caused severe nerve damage. Not to mention all the other broken bones on her everywhere else. She came home 6 months last in end of February 2009 still unable to stand. Physical therapy 6 months at home 3 days a week, then 4 months at the hospital 3 days a week got her going again. Everyday she is in severe pain. Severe pain. Takes 2 extra strength tylenol twice a day for the past 14 years or so, ever since she came home. And she gets the 0.25 mg Xanax she takes as necessary. She has fallen several times now over the years. This last time was the worst with many broken ribs in her back/side. But she fights through everything with high determination. The at home physical therapists are the ones that got her going. They forced her up. Forced her to exercise her legs, forced her to walk, That God for them. So I do kinda know how hard it is cause I've been here 24/7 for 14 years watching it and participating in it.
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Please hug her for me! That’s awful!
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Maximus, start researching the rehab places in mom's area.

The next time she is hospitalized, she goes to rehab. Because you WON'T be rushing there to be her nurse maid at home.

Find a place that can transition her to self-pay/ Medicaid long term care.

Start planning now. As Beatty says, you have a couple of weeks. Start visiting these places and find the ones that are acceptable.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
Great idea, Barb!

Max,

My mom worked really hard when she was in rehab. Your mom might surprise you. They always do more for others than they do for us!

Plus, those good looking physical therapists are easy on the eyes! LOL 😆. My mom was nearly deaf, eyesight not as sharp as it once was, but she certainly could see every good looking man that walked through the door!

They make friends with each other. They can watch television together in the lounge area in the evenings. They share stories. It was sweet to see the camaraderie that forms between the participants at rehab.

It couldn’t be easier, the hospital transports them straight to the rehab facility. Medicare pays for it.

Home health was really good for mom as well. Mom had one physical therapist that even played her favorite music, Frank Sinatra, for her to exercise with.
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@Geaton

You are mistaken where the 200-pound mother being considered a "2-person assist" for homecare. That's not how homecare agencies do their case assessments.
I've been in this line of work for 25 years and own a homecare agency now.
Client pricing is not based on size. Please don't state what is clearly an opinion of yours to the OP as if it is an actual fact. It isn't. No homecare agency in the world ever sends two aides at one time to care for a client because of insurance liability. A nursing home may do a 2-person assist if someone wished on a falling star and it's a blue moon, but not usually. A client can hire two private-pay aides at a time though. They can hire a dozen to come at the same time if they're rich and paying privately.
When I was agency-employed help I had a 390-pound client with mobility issues. I was the only aide on the case five days a week. Part of the case was hygiene care. Even after I got injured on that case, there was still only one aide on duty at a time.
The price for her was the same as the price for any other client. It's not based on size or weight.
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Max, max, max! Your life is not over unless you choose it to be. I think there is some Italian drama here. You have been living a big segment of your life with your patents who subject you to an emotional roller coaster ride. And you are catastrophizing - fearing the worst of what is to come.

This is not good for your health. I'm going to give you some hard words here as you have some hard choices to make. I can see you are worried about your cancer coming back, Good! Then do what you have to do for your own survival and reduce the stress in your life. There is evidence that cancer thrives on stress. Use more of your resources (time, energy. money, caring) for yourself and your hubs. Latterly, when my mother spoke like that to me I was out of there and in a hotel. Eventually I didn't stay with her any more. Your body is saying NO! (Book by Dr. Gabor Mate "When Your Body Says No"). Your health can't afford this!

Your mother is not in her right mind, your parents are not independent, and they do need assistance from professionals now, not some vague time in the future. So your mother wiped her own bum. Good, but that doesn't solve the larger problem that they are becoming more and more dependent. What you can do, as their next of kin, and as other posters are saying, is investigate facilities that will provide care for them. Facilities have equipment and staff who are trained to work with 200 lb. ladies with atrophied legs. Get the paperwork in order - POA etc. Look into Medicaid. Get some therapy for you to learn to deal with your life better. You don't have to sacrifice yourself on the altar of their wants.

Will they like it? No, of course not. Your job is not to please them, or make them happy, but to help get their needs met. Remember wants are not needs. Sure they love living on the water. Unless you can afford to hire enough 24/7 caregivers to keep them where they are, this phase of their life is probably ending. As we age our needs increase and our wants have to take a back seat more and more. That is life. I am 85 and, believe me, my needs are increasing and I have to make decisions based on them, not on my wants. At some point, I will likely need to move into a facility. Do I want to? No, not at all. What do I want? I would love to live in a villa in Tuscany. It's not going to happen. And there is no way on God's green earth I would expect my daughter to put her needs behind mine and look after me so my wants could be met.

Up to 40% of caregivers die before the people they care for. They put off their own medical care, they don't get enough help, they live in a state of stress - in short they don't care for themselves. You are the poster child for this. Again, you have some very important choices to make.

Two quotes by Paulo Coelho:

 "When you say “yes” to others, make sure you are not saying “no” to yourself"

and

“What's the world's greatest lie?... It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.”

((((((hugs))))) to you and prayers
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BurntCaregiver Jan 2023
Well said, golden. Well said. I hope the OP takes your very sound and excellent advice.
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Hi Guys, mom I told you wipes herself now which I told you. Now she started to use salt on her food and she’s back to eating cookies etc. She supposed to be losing some weight and watching her salt intake. I told my Dad that she’s going to end up in a facility and he said if the person doesn’t want to try then he doesn’t care anymore and I said well If she keeps this up I won’t be helping her because I can’t lift her up. My Dad isn’t helping her either by bringing cookies in the house. He said I shouldn’t suffer. My husband and I think they’re giving up on life. If that’s the case, you guys are so right - we go do what we have to do. We’ve done our share for them for 34 years that we’re married! We’re tired of their nonsense! The most worldly, intelligent, interesting, warm, kind, giving people are becoming the most obnoxious, insane people!
P.S. I’m not telling them I won’t be returning for Dad’s 95th birthday! My mom said she’ll make up my wedding anniversary that I’m missing with my husband and I guess this will be it! Thanks guys❤️
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Max - they are declining and they do need help - just not your hands on help. You and your hubs have given up a lot of your lives to support your parents. You have breast cancer. Definitely time to get off the emotional roller coaster ride and concentrate on your own life. Distance caregiving is quite possible. I'm sorry that they have changed so much - but that can happen as people decline.

With the right people in place and eventually probably placement in a facility your parents can be well looked after by people who are not emotionally attached to them and who can monitor their condition in a professional manner. My mother did as well as possible in those circumstances and it spared me a lot of stress.

My daughter says thank you for the hug and sends hugs back and prayers.

Wishing all the best to you and your hubs and Happy Anniversary. 💐🎉🎈
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maximus1 Jan 2023
💋
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I feel so bad that I sounded so harsh about my darling parents, but I’m not used to them not being independent.
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golden23 Jan 2023
The changes as we age are not easy for anyone. I think many caregivers have been there. It means you are human.
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Max,

You don’t sound harsh at all. You are describing a realistic situation. Things change in our parents lives and often times we struggle in the process of adapting to new circumstances.

Keep focusing on what is truly important and you’ll find ways to accommodate what they need and still keep your sanity.

Indeed, it can be perplexing and stressful for us to go through. Hang in there. Talk it out with others. Make decisions based on facts rather than emotions that will negatively impact the outcome.
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To Everyone! I really needed your support tonight! Thank you thank thank you soooo much! Love you guys😍
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(((((max)))) Keep on you path, one step at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time... The pressure on you from your mum will likely increase. That's what happens when you set boundaries to protect yourself. You really need those boundaries to stay firm for your own health. Is there anyway you can go back to your home and hub sooner? Can you get out amongst other people for a while every day? Go for long walks? Go out for a meal or just a coffee? Window shop? Anything to get away from the unhealthy interactions. I used to go shopping and take a long time, then get back and say "Oops I forgot something" and go out again. Try not to engage in the emotional "cr*p". Realize your mother is not well. Your roles are reversing. It's not an easy thing to navigate. You are getting there. Give yourself a pat on the back!
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I feel such … relief when I read posts like yours in this forum because it’s so reassuring to know I am not alone. I feel your pain. Can I hijack your thread & tell you how you are not the only one saying you need to go home and getting a bad reaction?
This evening, I announced I’m heading home on Wednesday afternoon (after my monthly visit got extended another week due to a fall, caused by too many drinks) and I got the boo-hoo thing from her.
About a minute later she asked, “what happened to me up here??” We were in her room. I was reading her emails to her and typing out responses to people.
I had been speculating where she might have scraped her scalp (which lead to a large cut on her forehead that needed about 8-10 stitches).
”How would I know,” she said, “I was unconscious.”
me “You were not unconscious”
omit part about being drunk. That point had its moment a few times at the doctor on Friday (reason for fall: 120 blood alcohol level)
she says, “yes I was UNCONSCIOUS. I don’t remember any of it.”
me “that doesn’t mean you were unconscious.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she was chomping at the bit to argue and I stood back. I could see she was trying to hold back. So I tentatively said, “you were talking to me…that means you were not unconscious”
I think — how much scarier it would have been for me if she was unconscious.
she said, “I was? What did I say?”
“let me die, I just want to die…” I told her. she ponders this.
I continued, “I was asking you if anything hurt. You yelled back that everything hurts…I was trying to put underwear on you…and you screamed at me…”
she interrupts me here. It’s just too much for her so she’s got to deflect.
she says, “you were probably yelling at me!”
pause, oh here we go again !
I think, “and now I need to walk away”
Right, mom; I came upstairs after a thud and found you on the floor, bleeding with nothing on, and of all the things I do, all the patience I have for EVERYTHING except the b.s you give me, the eye rolling, the sarcasm… I yelled at you. While
on hold with 911 even, sure. Right. Actually, when I came upstairs and saw her, I thought, omg — she fell, bad; maybe dying??? Head injury? maybe things are broken? omg this is bad.
plus it’s only been 6 months since the last one (which was bad and I stayed for FIVE WEEKS after)
we can not fix their situations or them, right? Let’s go home and take care of ourselves a bit. We will be back soon to take care of them (again).
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Beatty Jan 2023
Slaygirl, you are doing very well it seems - biting your tongue instead of every little line Mom drops for you to bite.. Pat yourself on the back today!

Then plant the seed that after her next fall, she may meet some nice new people & be able to swap stories etc.. coz most folk find rehab quite social. Yes rehab. As of course YOU can't come running & be nursemaid after every fall, but luckily rehab exists. She'll have all those lovely PT staff to chat to too..

The next fall you can promote yourself to *emotional support via video/phone* or something.
Yes?
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Stay strong tonight! Look after yourself first, hubby second, let your parents look after each other for a while. Have courage. Love, Margaret
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Hi Margaret thanks so much for your kind words❤️
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Max, I'm glad to hear that you're going back home soon!💕
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Thanks so much for your kind words❤️
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Max,

Do you have your bags packed yet?
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maximus1 Jan 2023
My husband is picking me up on February 7th. My mom started saying I hope I’m better by then and she said I’m going to miss you. I replied mom, you aren’t getting worse, so that’s a good thing and I love you and I’m going to miss you too. She keeps saying I don’t feel good and I answer back of course you don’t feel good. From day one, my mom has always been lonely without me. We are very close and spent a lot of time together, but I have a husband and a home to take care of. She also said to my husband that she wants him here with her and misses him. She was upset when I told her he will be picking me up and leaving the next day because he has to get back home for work. She can’t understand that he has a job. We’re trying to keep them living by themselves as long as they can, because if they come live with us, we’re going to be trapped. I feel awful saying this, this is why I’m posting on this forum. ❤️
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Max.

I understand that you want them to have their independence at home for as long as it’s possible. Your parents are quite elderly. My mom lived to be 95. If they don’t have good health, after a certain point, it’s all downhill for them.

I am glad that you know that it wouldn’t be a good idea for them to move into your home.

Do you have outside help lined up for your mom after you leave your mom’s house, either with an agency or private care?

Have you spoken with them about future plans when they can no longer be at home without help?

I was close to my mother. When a parent moves into our home the relationship changes. It can also place a strain on even the best of marriages. I have an incredible husband who loved my mom but there is no privacy after a parent moves into our home. Caring for a parent in our home adds a lot of additional stress.

At one point, I toured facilities, skilled nursing homes and assisted living facilities and one memory care in case my mom would ever need that. She had Parkinson’s disease with dementia.

I asked each facility when they thought it was best for a person to enter a facility. All of them responded by saying that it is best to place a parent before things have progressed to the worst stage.

You may want to tell your parents that one day they will have to consider going to a facility. Otherwise, they may think that they are able to move in with you and your husband. Just food for thought.

As difficult as it has been on you temporarily living with your parents, it would be much harder if they were to live with you in your home. Been there, done that, would not do it again.

If I had found this forum sooner, and been told things sooner by experienced posters, I could have avoided a lot of heartache. Don’t confuse ‘love’ with ‘hands on’ care. You do not have to do the difficult ‘hands on’ care yourself.

Wishing all the best for your family.
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Thank you so much!❤️ Please read my post about a pacemaker!
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I saw your post about going home Feb 7th…and the conversation with your mom. It’s all so complicated and hard, right? I’m going home tomorrow. I’m happy to go home and I’m so sad for her and aging in general. I’ll be back in a month. I fly back and forth (2 hr flight).
I’ve been with her since Dec 22nd. In the summer I did an unplanned 5 week stint (she had fallen). You have my sympathies.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
Do you have any help with caring for your mom?
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