Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I'm glad you told her she had her fun times and she needed to be happy with your dad. There is a point where you just have to tell them to knock it off. You have had enough.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I was thinking about u today and wondering how things were going. Stay strong. Right now your health is the most important thing. And your hubby and your puppy. Mom has Dad to care for her. Keep us up on things. People learn from each other. How you handle Mom will help others.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Hey, Max

Wishing you well with your upcoming doctor appointments and of course also with your puppy, Romeo!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Thanks guys - I'll keep you posted ❤️
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
golden23 Feb 2023
Make sure you do that!!! Even just check in here and let us know how you are doing, what new things you are figuring out, what old things you are tired of.
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
Hi Everyone - I'm really upset right now - my husband and I had a really nice day today training our puppy and we just got off the phone with my parents and my mom said when are you coming down for the 15th time this week. I told her maybe for Mother's day. She said well enjoy your dinner really snidely and hung up. Then she called me back and said I know how you can see me is when I die you can look at my pictures on my wall of me. What???? So I said I hope you're joking and she said don't worry about it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Catskie62 Mar 2023
Hey! Glad to hear from you again. ♡♡♡
(1)
Report
See 4 more replies
This is attempt at control and sign of dementia. Dont fall for it. You take charge of your time etc. Go home! Agencies cost a lot but until they evaluate this person, its best for sanity. Be firm ! You cant budge at all!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

(((((Max))))). Your mum is doing it again - making nasty comments and jerking you around. I am sorry she is like this.

However, this is not new behaviour from her. If she doesn't get what she wants she is nasty and upsets you. That's her game. She is very controlling and doesn't want you to have a life separate from her. She wants to be the center of your universe - have you focused on her.

In my experience, the only way to deal with this is to have less contact. How about let a day or so go by without any phone calls. If she calls again, let it go to voice mail. Will she be angry.? Yes, but she is anyway. That's ok. That's her choice as to how to respond to you. It doesn't reflect on you or make you a bad daughter. You are not responsible for her feelings.

Be honest with yourself. Do you really want to talk daily with someone who treats you like this and pressures you all the time to come and visit? Do you really want to visit her soon again? Would you put up with that from a friend? I wouldn't. I know this is hard and hurtful. Protect yourself!

Glad you and hubby had a nice day training your puppy. ((((((((hugs))))))
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
maximus1 Mar 2023
Hi Golden, I know she is suffering because she misses me and not only me my husband too. She's lonely. She left her mom when she had to - you know the story - did she ever wonder if her mom missed her? She probably would care, but she still would go on with her life. What's wrong with her?
(1)
Report
See 2 more replies
Honestly, Max You are the one who is suffering here. Your mum moans a lot, but I don't see that she is suffering. She loves to be miserable and take it out on you
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My blunt response is don't visit for a long while.
Post her a long handed sponge on a stick.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
sp19690 Mar 2023
They did the sponge on a stick thing during roman times only they all used the same sponge.
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
Ok - I'm trying so hard to stay strong. I was distraught tonight. What's funny is she's doing the same thing that my brother did to me - make me feel guilty and I'm just trying to live my life like they lived their lives the way they wanted to. She's just going to have to wait - I agree and I can't go down there every month and I don't want to. They moved far away from us - it's their problem. I actually told her this gently the other day. We're so tired of hearing her ask us - it's not cute anymore. Thanks again everyone ❤️
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Yes! She chose to move. And you have other things to worry about.

Been thinking about you this week. Glad things are getting better.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hi Joanne and my other friends - Maybe she's forgetting things - not sure about this yet. How can one tell their mother that - I hit my head the other day and need to see my eye doctor because I think I have a slight concussion and then tell her I need to see my primary care dr, my oncologist, my pulmonologist for my lung nodules and then get an infusion for my bones that makes you feel like crap and she says please go and don't make me worry and then the next minute ask me when I'll be visiting her. Is that dementia?
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
golden23 Mar 2023
Proud of you, Max for making that connection between your mother and your brother - yes, similar tactics.

Be in control of where you want to go when and don't let anyone guilt you out of it.

Your mum may be showing signs of dementia or it may just be the self centeredness or both. Only a properly qualified dr can assess her regarding the dementia, or the narcissism for that matter.

Glad you are putting your health first. I am sorry you have all those health problems. She does harp on doesn't she?
(3)
Report
See 1 more reply
Max,

I hope you will hear positive news from your doctors. You’ve been through so much. Dealing with your parents adds so much additional stress. Please make your health a priority. Your parents will figure it out.

Hugs!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Max, when you tell Mom that you have all these appointments and she is sympathetic and then says "so when will you be coming" chuckle at her and say "Mom I just explained my schedule to you and I really have no idea." You may want to tell her you may need to cut back on your visits because of your health problems. It may become 2x a year maybe 1. And, you do not have to spend more than a week with them. Thats about it for me, a week away from home is enough. You need to cut back on your stress.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Omigo. It’s a bidet seat. It’s wonderful. Press one button and it washes her and then air dries her. She can sit for 2 dry cycles if needed since it would normally take a few squares to finish the dry job. Get your life back. Where’s her modesty?!
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Jun 2023
Old post. I do wonder how Max is doing though. She was very sweet and was a cancer survivor.
(2)
Report
Need, Max posted just the other day about her parents inviting complete strangers, met by dialing a wrong number, over for dinner.

It is a bit confusing because she is posting under maximus and Romeo. Just a heads up.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
golden23 Jun 2023
That is confusing. I didn't see that post. Thx for the heads up real.

Max - been thinking of you and hoping you are looking after yourself.
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter