My dad died in 2021 after a long illness and I had to take care of my mother who hurt her back the day after the funeral. Four months later my husband was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. He had a brain bleed after coming home and I got a preview of his final months. Now I’m just responsible for driving him everywhere, meds, calls, house-everything. He’s better but I’m resentful, depressed, etc. Our lives are home and doctor. I don’t think I can handle what’s coming as I can’t take this now. Thoughts of a funeral freak me out cause his mom hates me. I’d rather be dead.
So sorry about your husband! Can you get some help ASAP? What can you pay someone to do? Clean your house? That's a pretty easy one. Meal prep? Stay with hubby for a few hours so you can catch a break? Please do it. You're burnt out and need help. Have any friends or family offered to help? If so, take them up on it. I've seen things set up on websites for bringing meals, etc.
I'm assuming a terminal brain cancer diagnosis comes with a rather short life expectancy? I don't know, just guessing. And no matter what they estimate, it can be much shorter or longer. Is the cancer being aggressively treated with something like chemo (guessing since you're taking him to the doc a lot)?
Hopefully you have all his legal affairs in order. Living will, POA, etc.
Depending on a lot of variables, your husband might want to switch to palliative or hospice care. Switching the focus to quality of life (and pain management) vs taking heroic measures to extend life even if the quality is pretty horrible.
Don't freak out about his mom. So what if she hates you? I assume you've been dealing with this for quite some time. Just think - his funeral will be the last time you EVER have to see her. Keep that in mind and just politely ignore her. Don't let her get to you.
I think you might benefit from trying a therapist to get some support for this tough situation. Your stress level must be off the charts.
Good luck.