I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

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I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

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If you feel this way stay at home alone and stay away from people that love Christmas because all you do is ruin it for others. My Mother is an example ! She complains and makes everyone miserable from Thanksgiving till New Years every year. We all try to make her happy by helping her shop, put up decorations and cook !~ She still complains ! I wish she would just stay at home and let us have a great time but its almost like she enjoys making everyone miserable like her!!

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That's rather harsh Stella. Do you suffer from depression? It's not fun and to tell someone to stay home and out of the way so others can have fun? That's extremely close to cyber bullying.
One cannot ever know what a word or sentence can do to someone who is bi-polar in any way.
I'm bi-polar and didn't realize it until I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. Then I found out depression runs on Mom's side of our family.

You enjoy your holidays and just keep in mind that someone on this board can be on the edge of a life or death decision.

(10)

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Maybe because I have little ones in grandchildren, local to us .. I absolutely adore this time of year. The whole thing, . the church festivities, the cooking, shopping, wrapping presents, the endless loop of Christmas music.. the wonder in a child's eye. I love it.

Am usually ready for it to all be over with too, by the time it's over with.

The other day I snapped a picture that I want to frame. The two babies, standing in the glow of the Christmas tree, their silhouettes. Something I want to always be able to look on in the wonder they were able to see in it.

Been fortunate that none of my Christmas memories include the loss of a beloved family member, or other sadness.

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Dorker, that photo sounds priceless. Definitely turn it into a keepsake. 🎄

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Your not alone, Christmas has become over rated. The stores have over rated it because they make money. I even saw Christmas things on sale in September at my local Rite Aid pharmacy they put Christmas things out on shelves right before Halloween. Ridiculous. I didn’t even put a tree up this year. Nor did I buy gifts. I bought one gift each for my step grandchildren and going to give them money cards. (Visa) last year we spent way to much. They have Christmas five times in the week of Christmas with their other relatives and get way to much. They just grab a gift un open it and throw it to the side and want another and another. My children and grandchildren live out of state. So that is very hard for me. I also lived in a disfunctional alcoholic relationship and grew up like that so Christmas wasn’t a very happy time for me at all growing up. Also some men think we can do it all. Shop for presents and cook all the goodies and set up the house and tree for one day of a chaotic glandure. Then clean up the big mess after it’s all over. Also yell at you for spending to much bloody money. Yup your not alone. I wish Christmas was like thanksgiving were we all got together and each of us had to make someone something that didn’t cost money to make. I think Christmas should be for children like Halloween. But the stores and big companies took off and ran with Christmas and ruined it all for most. Happy holidays ba hum bug.

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The OP expresses the steep emotional ups and downs that happen due to too much build up of the 'big day'. Friends in other Western nations- Germany, Denmark do NOT blow out with tackle excessive 'decorations' for a month, spending a fortune, beefing up expectations it will be 'perfect'. They celebrate quietly, with a simple diner together, going to church that eve, and simple, simple. I am never going to blame Americans for celebrating and spending with love towards others, but the 'goodwill' rings hollow often because no one donates or volunteers 2 days later. And the biggest problem I have seen over a lifetime is family forgetting reality of dealing with a crowd of people you don't see often, expecting ideal behavior, and getting the usual, often snarky, or indifferent, or braggy, or drunk behavior. So it seems to me some families avoid the overspending and excess that is getting them in $$ trouble, and celebrate more in the real meaning of the day. The reason why the celebration happens is lost in the modern day affectations. I do know i MOST enjoyed the 'poverty' years when me and DH were in college together, paying for it ourselves, working side jobs, living in a tiny 1 bd apt, and MAKING the gifts, all with thought, and the joy, then driving 9 hours to get there, excited to see who liked what I made. the 'journey' was always the best memory, Too broke to buy a tree I dragged home a huge arching Manzanita tree branch with straggly little branches all over, painted it gold, hung our few bulbs and tinsel on it..that 'tree' I remember most! but as we got real jobs, and too busy and rushed, I was stuck for a few years buying $$ at Macy's not caring much JUST to meet the obligation of a good gift. I MISSED sewing bathrobes, or hand making beautiful clove studded oranges, tied with velvet ribbons, and placing in a huge wicker basket, carrying it to each person to choose one. Then as his sisters married and had babies-- it became awful massive heaps of presents the kids TORE thru, barely looking, and grabbing the next. To the point of crying and insisting poor 90 yr ol grandma let them open HER few gifts..and the pious mother LET them. There was a 'teaching' moment there that she just overlooked as tears and whining began at being overexcited and allowed to do as they want...because : Christmas. I know everyone with a negative Christmas history has many different experiences- from standing in long lines at the cheap stores to save a few $$, tired and stressed, to hidden anger and being overheated and rushed to keeping everyone happy. and worse.

(8)

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,My Mother was a "Holiday MaMa"and Christmas was her favorite.
All 3 of us "kids" were born Christmas week.3 years ago now,on my 55th Birthday,my dear Mother died.She tried so hard to hold on for Christmas and did,but then died hours later,so I have a lot of mixed emotions about Christmas time.Mother joined her loved ones,but I lost her and nothing,especially the holidays are the same.

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I'm sorry that your mother's death will always be linked with Christmas. Perhaps you can create a photo album with your siblings to celebrate all the Christmases she helped to make special for you. If you can find a way to bring the happy memories to the fore when are missing her it might ease the pain a little. My Dad died in 2015 and I think of him most when I see a silly cartoon or joke I might have shared with him, or a book is published that I know he would have liked. The things themselves are insignificant but they were the things with which we bonded.

(5)

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I strongly dislike Christmas. Too commercialized and can't wait for the holidays to be OVER!
p.s. Very much believe in God...

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I used to start buying decorations in July. When Hallmark had the Christmas decorations for sale. I had 3 trees. One for Elvis, one for Star Trek, and one traditional. Wow times they have changed. Forgot , also had a Rudolph display that my daughter yearly created. Oh welll. She’s 23. Not 3. I’m dealing with a mother in my family room who won’t sleep in her bedroom, declining. So I figure it’s a combination of my daughter growing up and my mothers dementia. I have lost the love I had for all holidays. It’s hard enough to deal with my mothers decline. Every minute of every day. Maybe though , it has less or nothing to do with dementia, just my aging, Not having a little girl whose birthday is so close to Christmas, now an adult and I an aging adult. So less enthusiasm for doing what I did 20 or 10 or even 5 years ago. As a side thought, if I ever am lucky enough to be a grand ma ,, well I’m back to 3 trees. Also Midnight Mass.

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(((hugs))) So much “what if” and “remember when” at this time of year. 🎄

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Did you know that Christmas was outlawed for a time in Boston in the 1600s, and there was a lot of push back from celebrating it in the US, especially in the Puritan colonies, even until the 1800s? You are not alone in hating this holiday or being uncomfortable with how commercialized it has become.

In 332 AD, Pope Julius I declared the birth of Christ would be celebrated on December 25th, a day that had connections with Saturnalia and the birth of Roman god Mithras. History, though, indicates Jesus Christ was likely born in the spring when shepards would be grazing their sheep. This connection to Pagan holidays, general aversion to merrymaking, plus the discomfort with the growing materialism surrounding the way Christmas was celebrated led strict Christians, especially in the New England Colonies, to discourage or even forbid its practice.

It wasn’t until songs and books (think Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, and ‘Twas the night before Christmas...”) popularized it for American family culture that it actually became a federal holiday in the 1870s. Food for thought.

History aside, I wish everyone a blessed and beautiful, stress-free Christmas.

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The popes at the time were working hard to build churches over pagan sites, connect their religious events at the same time as pagan, as a planned replacement. makes senses..if people travel (on foot) to a 'worship site then the habit is enforced already, so building over that site got people to keep going there. All of this was man's doing, and it was indeed " playing the long game" as generations (people lived less than 30-40 years) died out and new were born and forgot the 'old ways'. . I tried to talk about this history with a couple guys at work and they came unglued that their church was so insidious and didn't believe me. even acknowledging basic history was too much- setting aside religious feelings. I visited the biggest church in UK the "Minster" it is built over Roman ruins and in the deep 'basement' is a working aqueduct 2000+ years old still running clear water, incredible murals on the walls. Knowing the history does not take way from the love of that particular religion. glad to see another who knows this stuff!

(2)

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Not unusual. When I was a child, there were a couple Christmases when, unlike my brothers and sister, I was seemingly forgotten, or got an IOU for something I'd never receive. As I got older, I hated it because I'd work so hard trying to find things to match people's interests, but no one EVER seemed to make ANY effort to determine what I'd like.
Gradually, I realized all the shopping, card writing, and hub-ub was keeping me from focusing on Jesus.

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My mom would give my sister heaps of presents and expensive horseback riding stuff for my brother--boots, saddles, bridles, cowboy hats and the horse. I'd get one $10 straw sewing basket. My mom also complained constantly about the work she did to make holiday dinners just so that everyone could eat in five minutes. Leaves bad memories....

(5)

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I hate Christmas ever since my Dad died in 1991. Now my mom is in an assisted living with chronic back pain from an operation she insisted on having when she was 82. She does nothing but complain even though she is in one of the most swanky assisted livings that there is.
I am an only child so my Christmas is spent with her eating in the dining room of her assisted living, They have a chef so the food is quite good, not that she would ever admit to that. They actually have 2 Chefs and she complains that the other one cooks Chinese food or whatnot.
So my Christmas basically sucks. I am in control of the finances so I could buy myself a Christmas gift, but I would not do that.
I feel your pain.

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May i suggest to anyone who has the desire to feel better-volunteer to cook or help out at a homeless shelter or church. Your self pity really disappears fast doing this sort of thing. Instead of buying things that we do not need, empty your closets of stuff that is useless and give it away -wrap it up in pretty paper or used newspaper, and give it to the poor. One person's trash is another person's gold.1) Read for the blind,2) go walk dogs for the old people who cannot get out 3)shovel snow 4)do anything but sit on your duff and moan and groan!!!!
YOU BETTER NOT POUT
YOU BETTER NOT CRY
YOU BETTER NOT CRY ; I'M TELLING YOU WHY........
It's not cool -that's why:)
HO HO HO -give the gift of love, it is free and it is always needed.

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I can relate to the reply from Hugger1. I prefer to be away from the chaos and stress of the Christmas shoppers. And I also understand your feelings. As I have grown up, wised up, and grown older over the years, I have given up on the Christmas shopping. It has always lead me down the road of debt and stress. It really irks me that Christmas decorations in the stores are on display before Halloween. And I like it when people say "Merry Christmas" to me instead of "Happy friggin Holidays". Political correctness is getting beyond absurd. So now my family just gets together for dinner if we're lucky. This year my son and I are going to work at Salvation Army on Christmas day and then probably go out for Mexican food. We have great Mexican food in our town.
I used to have the seasonal depression around the holidays but they seem to be fading the more I let go of the stress.
I would suggest as other people have, to do something that makes YOU happy.
Hugs to you!!

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Yes and no...
my mother died last year right before Christmas, which was very hard, but I’m determined to honor her memory at the holidays. It’s a time for a “new normal.”
So, I guess every year can be the start of something new- something that makes things feel right, and that can differ from year to year.
some years are just “alone” holidays and others can be “family mayhem and chaos” holidays... but they don’t all have to be the same! Do what makes you happy!

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I don't hate Christmas---I just feel that it is the LEAST Christlike way to celebrate HIS birth and ministry.

Also--I have to do "all the things" alone b/c hubby inevitably has last second job related issues that MUST be dealt with, Most years he "forgets" to shop and he runs to Walgreens at 8:45 pm and is frantically scouring the shelves for ANYTHING. It's sad for me, as it says to me "You;re not important enough to PLAN for". This is MY problem and you'd think after 42 years together it wouldn't bother me. What I REALLY want is my family around me and for him to stay awake all day and engage with the family,

Mostly, I want it to be over with. We lost 2 lovely family members at Christmas and this does come to light, the memories, as they were sick and dying during the holidays. I know everyone probably has that to deal with, It just is what it is.

I just try to make the other 364 days of the year "Christlike"....and quit pretending that Dec. 25th has anything to do with out Savior's birth.

Works for me.

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I feel I share so many of your issues. Some people are not good present givers. I have always given it so much thought but I just don't care anymore. I am your age married for 39 years. This year as so many others we have some other business related issues creating alot of stress. That always takes precedence. The greatest gift to me would be for this business issue to be resolved. I am looking forward to seeing my 3 grandchildren who live in different states. I can't imagine what it would feel like to feel real holiday spirit.

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I like Christmas for the celebrating of Jesus' birth, the pretty lights, & cheerful songs. It is sad about all the "out of hand" gift giving, but I just don't participate in it.

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Yes, Christmas has been a struggle for me for years. I too am Spiritual and love the decorations, a few of the carols, attend church. But the family dysfunction, debt, cooking, cleaning, driving across the state twice in one week to attend not one but two Christmases. It is so easy to get caught up in pleasing others that you make yourself miserable. It took me 3 days to recover from the chaos.

At 55, I declared that is enough. The running nonstop on the hamster wheel was over. I now send Christmas cards but no longer attend large family functions. On Christmas day, we go to a movie, a park, take a walk, a bike ride, go to church service. We try to make the day as tranquil as possible.

Peace and Joy to you all.

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For many, Christmas and New Year's are the saddest times of the year.

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On Christmas day in 1960, I gave birth to a full-term stillborn baby boy--my first child. My husband (now my ex husband who is in nursing home with dementia, but that is another story) had the baby cremated before I had a chance to see him--he didn't look at him either, but the doctor said there was nothing apparently wrong.....except that he was dead, of course. My husband didn't even want the ashes to bury with a marker somewhere. We went on to have two normal children, but I have never enjoyed Christmas day, and I guess my children don't either. My single childless daughter is a nurse who always chooses to earn more money by working every holiday, and my son, his wife and two daughters usually go to visit his wife's relatives in a neighboring state. My second husband died 5 years ago and I don't see his family anymore either. So Christmas is just another day to me and I am always glad when it is over.

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I'm sorry for your loss, & wish you well.

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I both love and hate Christmas. I love the decorations. I love the classic Christmas movies. I love the music. I love getting together with relatives around the holidays, although this can also be stressful.

I hate having to buy gifts. I typically buy gifts for the kids who like practically everything, give money to the teens who are starting to have preferences, and buy gourmet food for the adults who have enough money to buy their own things and don't need more material objects in their houses.

I hate getting gifts that I have no use for. It's a waste of money. I have suggested not exchanging gifts. No one listens, so I usually end up donating stuff that I get from those relatives who are bad at picking out gifts.

Oh, yeah. I don't watch TV, so I don't see any of the Christmas ads.

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Subdue, We are a lot alike. This year, for christmas, since i have no relations nearby or in the habit of visiting, I plan to stay in christmas eve and day, tucked up in bed with the electric blanket, a video season of Handmaid's Tale, two Lee Child's Reacher books, 2 copies of the The Sun Magazine, and whatever else I have on the bookshelves to tempt me. Quite likely a Kurt Vonnegut book. If I get bored, there's always a knitting project to work on.
Dinner is easy, since I'm on a blood type diet and all the food in my fridge is acceptable to my gut, it'll be broiled chicken and sweet potato with lots of green salad. And probably half a can of cranberry filled cranberry sauce. All prepped the day before and ready to heat up when the need arises. No phone. 1/2 bottle white wine. Lots of water to drink.

No gifts, since I'm a poor widow and not good at buying for most other people, anyway, and i no longer bake goodies that just make people wired or overweight. So, I have everything I need already, except a winter vacation some place warm.

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I am sorry to hear you hate the holidays. I find them a time of year to regroup as well as celebrate the birth of Jesus. Gift giving has gotten so out of control it does impair the spirits. I believe this year they started putting stuff out after Halloween. REALLY...
I have holiday anxieties. Finally, I have stopped thinking about hurting everyone's feelings and do what I want to do. If I don't want to visit family I don't. I will do it some time between Christmas and New Year's. The aftermath depression of Christmas is tough. We spend so much time cooking, shopping, wrapping, attending events that when it is over and there is nothing to do - that's when it hits me. I have spend a few Christmas's alone and quiet. It gave me the opportunity to reflect on what Christmas is all about.

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You are absolutely not alone! My own Mother groes into a funk at this time every year. There are many reasons why many people dislike Christmas. Personally, I find this time easier after becoming more organized, starting early, & adopting the less is more mindset. I have also changed my thinking to making it simply about reconnecting with people I want to continue to remember. Thinking about the little special memories I had with these people and focusing on other small things that make me happy like enjoying good food, music, Christmas lights, my favorite Christmas tea, and finally remembering that the new year is near!

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Wow! I am just blown away by how this little thread I started has taken off. So many great, thoughtful, wise posts. I'm delighted how many of you know the true meaning of the season and celebrate it accordingly.

To those of you who don't know me on here and asked who I am caring for, sadly my dear Mother passed in 2014. It will be four years already in May 2019. It still feels like just yesterday to me sometimes. I've chosen to stay on here and lend support and advise where I can.

Thank-you and keep the responses coming.

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I totally dislike any kind of holiday, and that includes Christmas. I don't observe Easter, Memorial Day, Independence Day, nor Labor Day. I never married nor had children. To top it off, my pet cat passed on recently; died unexpectedly. I am planning on getting another cat to keep me company. I wish the holidays would be done away with. They are only for those who married and had children

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I'm so sorry for your loss, cak2135. We also lost our cat recently, also unexpectedly. Any kind of loss makes Christmas that much harder and it was hard when everything was good. Now, most of my relatives have died, or live elsewhere and the big family gatherings are only a memory. I wonder how much television has influenced our belief that everyone is or should be in a rapture of joy at Christmas. Jesus' birth should be observed quietly, reverently, not in a frenzy of buying more stuff for people who don't need it in the first place. A real celebration of his birth would be a donation to a charity that improves the lot of people or animals. That would be a really meaningful way to observe the birth of Jesus.

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To Gershun, so sorry that you feel as you do about Christmas. I also hate how it has been celebrated by many as time to spend, spend and go into debt and partying and some drinking too much. However, like She1934 wrote, I have always loved most every aspect of Christmas. Also, my beloved husband of 57 yrs. passed away June 29 of this year and Dec. 16th would have been his 78th birthday. So I am very sad that he will no longer be by my side for church services and enjoying a beautiful tree with twinkling lights and the smells of cookies and cakes and such in the oven. We didn't go overboard on shopping for our kids and grand kids and just gave them money, not a large amount. This year, I have only set up my little fiber optic tree and a few small decorations. I only bought gifts for our son and his wife and our daughter and husband. I bought a gift that they can both enjoy but did not spend a bundle because my income is now less also. I haven't bought for the grands in a few years now because they could never seem to find time to visit, call, or send a card. Also this year I invited my widowed sister and her little dog and our brother and his wife to come down and spend Christmas with me, no gifts allowed. Just a great time of visiting and eating and sharing the love we have for one another. Then of course, church is very much a part of my life and my church family means the world to me. I live only 4 miles from the cemetery where my husband is buried so I visit the grave often, will do so on Christmas day. He also died from Parkinson Disease, and metastatic cancer, but also had Alzheimer's and had type 2 diabetes and was on insulin. But especially during the holiday season, I try to find all the GOOD things about celebrating and how much I miss him but I know he is with God now and suffers no more, he gets to celebrate with the very one that was brought to earth as a baby that we celebrate on Christmas day. So always concentrate on the good things of the season and shut the other stuff out of your mind and if you have a good church that you attend or are a member of, attend the services that are offered weekly and the extras offered during Christmas and let it lift your spirits and I'll bet you will feel better, as I know is has surely helped me cope during this time. Prayers for you.

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I am very sorry for your lost.

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Do what I do. Tell everybody NO gift giving allowed and refuse to buy anybody anything. Do not cook anything either. If they come over you can put them to work helping to care for your loved one.

Merry Christmas...

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I won't even get to see my family this year. :-( my brothers have to work, be with their wives or girlfriends families and do their own thing. It hurts. It's just gonna be me and my husband. Mom's in a nursing home complete with a wheelchair.

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Am so sorry that you hate Christmas. I have always always loved every piece of it-the Christianity of it complete with the story of Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem and the birth of a baby who would grow into a man of love and peace, even though much of our world seems to negate who he was and his influence in lives. I love the carols, the candles, the pageants-both when I was young and when my kids were young. I love the parties and family gatherings, the school concerts, the shopping and sometimes finding a perfect gift to be given because I love that person so much. i love the pictures with Santa-my own, my kids, their kids, and now their kids. I love decorating every nook and cranny and baking cookies with kids and grandkids, making fudge and planning holiday meals. I love the excitement building up to the big day, especially the quiet of Christmas Eve as we gathered to read the story and sit around a sparkling tree, opening "just one present", then off to bed. Sometimes my husband and I woke before the little ones and tip-toed out for that last view of the quiet befor the hub-bub of Christmas morning. But what Christmas really is to me is that quiet gratitude and full heart I have had after the gifts are open and the gentle joy settles in. I am always "blue" on January 2nd and hate the undue decorating, finally getting gifts put away. But this year is different. My husband passed away from dementia on November 11, after years of 24/7 caregiving, and my life is pretty much a mess because my income has been cut nearly in half, and my beloved pup is very sick, and my son's life is also a mess. But- as I sit here gazing at my little tree, I am deep in the memories of many happy Christmases past -and allowing that to soothe my grief and worry. I know you don't want to hear these words and I truly am sorry that you are and have gone thru so many holidays filled with dread and hate for all that you feel Christmas has become to most. I have always believed that it is a time filled with many parts-many traditions and is only what we make of it. As I grew older I began to simplify-to make the Christ child a center with an advent wreath and Bible open to the story in Luke, decorated the tree simply with bears, and toned down the buying, the cooking and the trappings except for family and a few close friends-fewer cards sent, fewer gifts, small simple changes that drew me closer to the joys of it all. Please try not to hate, but find a way to be, if not joyful, at least grateful for one thing in your life or in the world. I will grieve, but I will find, through my tears, at least one thing too.

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You are not alone. It is no longer the "Christmas Story" holiday we had as kids in the 50s. Even watching Christmas family videos depress me! YES, IT IS WAY TOO COMMERCIALIZED AND KIDS DON'T KNOW WHY WE EVEN CELEBRATE. Like you I truly believe in God, always have; look around and there is no other answer (sorry Darwin believers). We went to Church every Sunday and then some and my family has many Pentecostal or Baptist ministers!! I don't believe people MUST go to Church to listen to someone in the pulpit telling me their belief is of the Bible. I'm a Calvinist in my belief and I can communicate with God on my own.
When I would host Christmas Eve (Dad always said Christmas Day was for the family alone) I would work, bake, cook DAYS ahead; make sure that we would entertain as a family. ONLY Christmas music in the background, then it became "put your cellphones away and DO NOT ANSWER".
The rug rats get upset when they don't get what they wanted which cost several hundred dollars, so they cry and throw hissy fits. I learned later in life that our parents would start putting money aside in January with hope they could afford to provide each of us with 1 toy we asked Santa. We were so excited that if it was 1 we were told that Santa was so busy making toys for children around the world, he gave us what he had time to make with his elves. THAT is how I handled Christmas with our daughter (she loved that she had both Christmas/Hannaka). She even received a letter/lump of coal 1 yr, was really good the next year😁.
What happened to Thanksgiving?
Yes, I too become very depressed and don't care if we have "Christmas" presents or anything. We haven't decorated a tree in 10+ years and I love a decorated tree. We don't have any grandchildren so why decorate? Yes,, daughter gets what she wants because she is 42 and we no longer "know" what she wants Santa to bring like it was when she was a "kid" and I made sure she stayed a kid until she became of age to start morphing into a teen. There's a time to become an adult, but childhood is fleeting.
Our Christmas is the 3 of us as we live in TX, brother in TN and everybody else in AZ. Mom has Alzheimer's and in assisted living and she doesn't know (I think she does in some compartment within her mind) any of us. Mom made Christmas just like her Mother.
BAH HUM BUG! I pay forward now to strangers, military, border patrol and truckers who are eating all alone if we're out to eat at Christmas. THAT makes me feel good inside my heart.

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You are not alone. All I feel right now is a giant ball of stress. Between end of year planning at my job, the obligatory work holiday parties and networking/charity toy drive events, and meanwhile still taking care of my mother in most of my "spare" time, I feel like I have no time for myself...at all. It's something I dread every year because I spend so much time worrying about making everyone else happy, not disappointing family and friends, and plastering a fake smile on my face for the "holiday" spirit which is easier than people commenting to "cheer up, its the holidays". I'm not sure if this is anxiety, depression, or a mix of both. All I know is that I really just want one day where no one is bothering me, no one is expecting anything of me, where I can just relax, maybe take an actual nap, not worry about cleaning or fixing someone else's "oopsie"s.... just peace and quiet for 24 hours. No phone calls, no emails, no texts. That would be glorious.

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Yet people are SHOCKED when they hear about so many people taking their lives this time of year.

NOW they not only take theirs, but wipe out their ENTIRE family

You are under a GREAT DEAL of stress. Don't know your career area, but YOU need to decide what is best for you.
DON'T participant in the office party. I for one think it's dumb, just have lunch catered in the office. No gift exchange etc, that's for family.
Delagate office projects if possible. You cannot do everything on your own no matter your status in your office.
I was in banking and Christmas/New Year Eves, we got to choose which day we wanted so we got to leave early and worked with half staff.
People with children, we had our daughter, would always want Christmas Eve. They got to leave at 3:00. I always took New Year's Eve, especially if it fell on Friday, because we got to leave at noon!! Have any idea what New Year's Eve is like for tellers and when it lands on Friday?! So many never figured that one out. You guys work until the last customer as businesses MUST GET THEIR YEAR END banking done. This half staff wouldn't get done sometimes until 8:00-9:00 at night! Yep, go ahead and take Christmas Eve.
Now I feel for and always have and more so now, for people in careers who don't really get a choice. Daughter is an RN, guess what? She has to work Christmas Eve, on call Christmas Day and Friday. She will come up to Abilene from San Antonio to be with us for 1.5 days because she has to work that Monday. We wanted to make it easier on her and go to her house, but she doesn't like that we always work around her schedule. That's what parents do. When she lived back home in AZ, everything would be decided, she made sure everyone knew her schedule and then things would change. Gotta give the baby daddies their holiday time EVEN though they know what the family does each holiday. Daughter would not be able to be with family 99.9% of the time because everything would end up revolving around cousins who couldn't keep their legs together at the knee.

So what if you disappoint friends, co-workers. YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE. DO THE PARTIES AT NEW YEAR.

Beven there, done that, have the t-shirt, hat and mug!!

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Gershun I can so relate. For many people this is a time that opens old wounds, brings up memories of things we wish we could forget and things we wish were different. I - mostly in auto-mode- try to stay busy decorating and giving to others. And by "others" - I have no friends. These are the people working at local shops from whom I buy coffee and soda, and also the ladies who help me clean my house. I send cards to family that I never see 3,000 miles away including my brother who doesn't want to talk to me. It is so painful, sad and lonely at times. I can only say try to stay busy doing whatever - and try to remember "this too shall pass".

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You have friends! Each person you pay forward is a friend.

Try to meet your neighbors. This is hard to do too and I should take more of my own advice!

I don't have "friends" any longer once we moved to Ohio 20 years ago and now live in TX. I only go to bank events as my husband still works and has so many friends.

Me, I'm retired due to having fibromyalgia to the point that I'm in so much pain right now I don't even want to do my job. That is balancing checkbooks, excel sheets, filing and going thru Mom's papers. Mom may be in AZ, but my job is to take care of her, her property, finances etc.

My brother sent a text to his 3 sisters to tell us due to family issues they are having with their 2 sons, they will not be sending any gifts. WHO CARES?!

I told him that he already gave me his gift. He went back home about 2 weeks ago to visit with Mom at the assisted living facility. He has a very hard time seeing Mom like this and would rather remember Mom like she was. Mom has been in this facility since May and he finally went out to see her. My little sister hasn't seen Mom in the 9 months I had to place Mom in the facility. Step-siblings haven't seen their Father since Father's Day.

Even though you have never met any of us, you really have. You're telling us your most inner thoughts and feelings and vise versa.

We are your friends! Please do your best to have a Merry Christmas in any way you can to make YOU happy.

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Dear caregiver friends
I am a Christian. But I don't celebrate xmas either because it's not Jesus birthday. It is rooted in tradition and not truth. The commercialism of it all manipulates many people into financial hardship and sometimes emotional distress. Where's the joy in that?
I love family time though and join them during the holidays no matter what our beliefs are. Is it always easy? No. But even if we are not like-minded we still strive to share our love.
For all those who have someone to help with caregiving...the post on volunteering in your community is a great idea to help get through the falala of it all!
Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories and input. It helps keep me going.
Our hearts are somehow blended together even in all our diversity of situations in a common bond as caregivers. I am so grateful for that and agingcare.com.

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Christmas and war have much in common, they have become a big business due to greed. Sheeple are led to believe we have to play these games...it is the american way. No matter how dysfunctional families can be, we are conditioned to face each other and pretend. Let the change begin with you...to your own heart...be true. Can your Christmas be a day of true gratitude? Are there blessings to count? Can you face your sadness, and talk about it, or journal it? Can you have no expectations? I have spent many holidays alone, working on these things, and it was sweet and deep. I have also spent holidays working my butt off, cooking, cleaning, gifting, etc. Not much gratitude coming my way, but I was grateful for my loving, giving self. Those relatives who are drunk, ungrateful, ignorant, etc. That is their path, not yours...the best thing you can do is be true to yourself in loving ways. Life is short.

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I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

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