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You can only save yourself......you can never save an addict who doesn't want to BE saved. That's the truth. If anyone says otherwise or calls you "selfish", they've never had to deal firsthand with an addict who's motto is "To the exclusion of all else." In your mother's case, the booze comes first, to the exclusion of all else including you, your job, your home, your fiance, etc. She'd watch it all go down the drain as long as she could have another drink. Now THAT is the definition of selfish!

Best of luck to you and your fiance moving forward and taking your lives back.
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I don’t think it’s selfish. I wish I could walk away. I don’t have the courage to yet. I hope you can rest, heal, and find peace.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jun 2023
Hoping that you get there! I’m cheering for you. I had to walk away from my brother who was an addict.
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Good for you! Many of us wish we could do the same!
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Proud of you!
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I support you. You have to save yourself.. Well done, you.
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Congratulations on a good decision for both you and mom. Please let us know how you’re doing after the dust settles.
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Good for you!!! Apparently it's about time huh?
Your mother will NEVER get the help she so desperately needs if you or anyone else keeps swooping in to save her(yes that's called enabling).
So again, good for you for FINALLY putting yourself and your fiancé first.
We can't save anyone but ourselves and I'm glad that you're taking the steps to finally save yourself.
I wish you the very best on this new journey of self care.
God bless you.
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Keeping an alcoholic with dementia at home is not my idea of noble, to me it is insanity at its best.

I wish you the very best that life has to offer, you deserve it!
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Congratulations on reclaiming your life. I wish you nothing but the best, success and happiness. You deserve it.

So many are unable to be strong and brave and walk away like you are doing.

The result is years and years of misery and suffering for them. I hope this post gives someone else the courage to do the same.
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AJ, I think you are doing the ONE thing that will get your mom the help she needs.

Sometimes stepping away is the correct and loving move.
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