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Crafty - if you stay on the website to read more posts from other caregivers, you will see that most of us are so burn out from taking care of our parents/spouse/sick relatives who are still lingering on wayyyyy beyond their expiration dates.

I, too, would like for my mother to pass on before she reaches the point of no quality of life.

Don't feel bad about your thoughts. They are totally normal.
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I think you have too much mind chatter going on, i.e. guilt, bad/selfish, beating yourself up, etc. Stop all of that...you have no control when she goes so surrender YOUR emotions to divine love and get some peace. I’m talking to myself as well!
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Crafty789 Oct 2018
Catwinter, thank you!
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Crafty (((((((hugs))))))))

From the moment my mom was diagnosed with dementia until the day she died
(4 years and a bit) I will admit that I prayed that she would expire. She NEVER< EVER EVER wanted to live in the condition that she was in.

I was frankly grateful that after 4 long years of slow decline, a fall in her NH sent her into a precipitous decline and I was able to talk my brother, who had Power of Attorney, into signing off on Hospice.

This disease is unbearably painful for all involved. Don't beat yourself up. Please.

And again ((((((hugs)))))))) and vent here all you want.

Have you seen a psychiatrist for your anxiety?
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Crafty789 Oct 2018
BarbBrooklyn, I have seen a counselor. At first, he was very helpful, but then not so much, so I just stopped going. This whole situation has made me develop OCD as well, so I should probably go back or find a different one. Thank you for responding. I don’t feel quite as bad now.
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No it's very understandable. I had an anxiety attack today trying to make appointments with my mother's cardiologist. They wanted me to travel to the office farther away which I refused as there is one closer. They said then I had to wait until January and then gave me only one day as an option which is when I won't be in town. Finally I had to schedule 2 separate appointments right before Thanksgiving when the traffic will be terrible. Then I went to try to buy some clothing for her which for a host of reasons is always difficult. I came home exhausted with a bad headache as I actually drove to the office as they were not picking up the phone. On days like this I wonder how long I will be doing this. It's not that I don't care but my mother has spent decades not taking care of her health and I am an only child although I realize from many posts here that is possibly a blessing.
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Crafty789 Oct 2018
Riverdale, I’m so sorry you have to deal with all that, but I’m glad I’m not alone. And you’re not alone either. It’s good to know these thoughts are normal!
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