90-year-old MIL lives in our home. Moderate mixed-dementia diagnosis with significant short term memory and executive function loss.
All the experts and caregivers who've lived through this say to lie about the inconsequential things. I'm really struggling with this. For example, I found MIL had a box of prescription eye drops in her room. She said they were from a former Dr and very expensive. I told her not to use until I've checked with your Dr. OK.
I checked the box and the meds expired September 2021. I told MIL about expiration and that I was going to throw them away. She wanted me to check with Dr. first. I said no. Didn't tell her, but in my head, they're 18 months out of date and I don't have time to play "leave a message" with Dr.
But, I saw her wilt a bit. She has no control anymore and here's one more reminder that she lives in someone else's house, isn't allowed to touch the gas range, can't take her own pills and can't remember the name of her dearest friend who passed away last month.
Why didn't I just lie and tell her the Dr. said not to take expired meds?
How do you know when a lie is best?
Replace the eye drops and if she remembers to ask about the expired ones - "This is what the doctor wants you to use now."