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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My MIL is in LTC in a facility close to us. We have been hosting Thanksgiving dinner for all family members locally. Before we have dinner, the gathered guests go over to celebrate with my MIL. We bring food and goodies to her, and take a group picture. In the past when we brought her home she didn't do well. It's much better to bring the holiday to her. We also take that opportunity to decorate her room for Christmas.
You will figure out what works best for you husband. I hope you have a peaceful holiday together.
What a lovely and festive way to include your MIL! I really like the idea of all those who are there to visit decorating her room for Christmas❤️ That is truly taking the holiday to her, she is the focus as well, and voila! Her room is festive and bright. Thanks for sharing, Geaton.
No, you bring thanksgiving dinner to him at his facility. And even if it's not on the actual day, as he will never know, it will be nice for some of the family to celebrate with him where he is at.
I wouldn't. Changes in a ALZ routine could upset them. When my daddy was in a facility - I would just bring him something he wanted. It wasn't turkey, cuz he didn't want that, but I brought him what he was craving. My daddy didn't know when it was thanksgiving, his birthday or fathers day - keep the day simple and in his same routine. Blessings
I am sorry about your dilemma. How about bringing Thanksgiving to your husband. Bring some relatives and be part of the facilities Thanksgiving celebration. Maybe you can have a private dinner with your husband.
Personally, I wouldn't because of my husband's volatile nature with this disease. Prior to placement, he no longer enjoyed family gatherings. Everything agitated him. The chatter. The laughter. The music. The platters of food. He kept mumbling over and over "this isn't right." My brother even commented that he's never seen hubby so "frantic." We ended up leaving early because he started to become inconsolable. When hubby saw the 24 pairs of shoes by the door, he got very angry screaming that he couldn't find his shoes and jacket--where are my shoes? how am I going to find my jacket in this mess?--in spite of the fact that I was holding them right in front of him. I couldn't get him to look at the bundle in my hands. So sad. Then during our very last Christmas gathering, he wouldn't let me take our presents because he claimed they weren't ours and badgered me all the way home about it...heavy heavy sigh...those were very dark days.
Our rational mind and heart would think that it's a good idea to have him with family to enjoy the festivities during the holidays. But we don't have a crystal ball into a PWD's mind and know how it's processing the outside world.
As AlvaDeer said, you know your husband best. Use your good judgment. I don't know why you needed to ask the question, but I have an inkling that you may know the answer already. Whatever you decide, hope it's a good outcome.
Thank you for your insight. My husband is still in the mid stage of the disease. I have taken him out a couple of times without a problem. Probably going to try going to a not too fancy restaurant for Thanksgiving Day lunch with maybe a couple of relatives. 🙏
I think it would be less disruptive to him and less stressful for you, if you bring a plate to him. Let him enjoy the food you have always prepared without the confusion of leaving his new surroundings. His world is getting smaller and smaller because that is all he can handle.
Is it hard to get him in and out of the car? Is he incontinent? Is he a flight risk? Is he going to get upset when you have to take him back? For those reasons...
agree. from experience, people who don't anymore know what day of the week it is, or what year it is, also don’t realize they’re missing a holiday. the energy spent trying to “maintain normalcy” by celebrating special occasions is for who? better to skip the stress and the mess.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You will figure out what works best for you husband. I hope you have a peaceful holiday together.
Our rational mind and heart would think that it's a good idea to have him with family to enjoy the festivities during the holidays. But we don't have a crystal ball into a PWD's mind and know how it's processing the outside world.
As AlvaDeer said, you know your husband best. Use your good judgment. I don't know why you needed to ask the question, but I have an inkling that you may know the answer already. Whatever you decide, hope it's a good outcome.
Is it hard to get him in and out of the car? Is he incontinent? Is he a flight risk? Is he going to get upset when you have to take him back? For those reasons...
No stress and definitely no mess
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