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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I have been caring for him for 5-6 years. Getting very agitated daily. He gets aggressive every day a 5;30-6;00. am really getting tired olf it all. Wo't let me bathe him or hange clothes
Hugs to you, xhausted, There really is nothing like having a life partner with dementia. You not only continue with your prior duties, you take up your partner's former duties, and you also take on the additional duties of caregiving -- sometimes without appreciation. It is, indeed, exhausting!
What kind of help are you getting? For example, do you have someone to come in a bathe him once or twice a week? Do you have a personal care attendant to stay with him several hours a week so you can go out on your own? Have you discussed his sundowning behaviors with his doctor? Is his doctor a dementia specialist?
What kind of support do you have? Are their friends and family members how call you often or come and visit and tell you what a great job you are doing? Do you attend a support group? Have you considered therapy for yourself.
Putting your life partner, your soulmate, in a care facility is not a step to be taken lightly. Sometimes it is absolutely the right thing, the necessary thing, the best thing to do, for both of you. But before taking such a drastic step, I suggest taking the intermediate step of getting help in your own home, and getting more support for yourself. If you are already doing these things, then maybe it really is time to look for a good care facility.
I don't want to sound unfeeling, but I took care of my Father who had dementia and was violent. It was a blessing when he died. For the past fifteen years, I have been the sole caregiver for my Mother who is 98 years old and needs everything done for her except eating, which she can still manage. I am in my sixties and have no real life of my own. If you are able to place your husband into care, DO IT. You are entitled to live your life and be free of the awful guilt and anxiety that being a full time caregiver causes. As long as he is well cared for, clean and comfortable, visit him once or twice a week and go live your life. In my experience, People like my Father with dementia do very well in care, and sometimes treat the professional caregivers with more respect and consideration. That was true in my Father's case. You'll never get the years back and you'll become bitter yourself. It's not worth it.
It sounds to me like he would be lots better off in a 24/7 care facility. He will have skilled care there and believe me, they do bathe and change their clothes. At the rate you are going, he is going to outlive you. Where does he go, then? I think you need to make that move, now. You can still care for him and be with him daily - but you need some rest.
xhausted, what would help is for you to know more about your husband's condition and that to expect so that there aren't any surprises. What you are going through, from what I have read, is not unusual. Click on this website which is part of AgingCare https://www.agingcare.com/Alzheimers-Dementia
What about a part time home health aide or respite care? If he qualifies for Medicaid the state will cover it. If you are reasonably well off you can hire someone for something I can't currently afford but it not much $10-15/hour. Although now that I think about it, respite care is ideal, you can try out a few homes and get a feel for them and he can slowly ease into the idea.
I am not sure how it works as I did not know about it until it was too late with my mom but homes take people for a few days or a week and the caregiver gets some rest.
When people with dementia become agitated around the same time everyday it's called sundowner's syndrome. It usually happens late in the day which is why it's called sundowner's.
You can't prevent it but you can anticipate it. Make sure he's had a snack and some fluid. If he is prescribed an anti-anxiety med make sure you've given it to him. Don't expect anything from him at this time (for example, not a good time to attempt to bathe him). Again, you can't prevent it but you might be able to make it easier on him and you.
If your friends and family are beginning to suggest that you place him in a skilled nursing facility maybe that's something you should think about.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What kind of help are you getting? For example, do you have someone to come in a bathe him once or twice a week? Do you have a personal care attendant to stay with him several hours a week so you can go out on your own? Have you discussed his sundowning behaviors with his doctor? Is his doctor a dementia specialist?
What kind of support do you have? Are their friends and family members how call you often or come and visit and tell you what a great job you are doing? Do you attend a support group? Have you considered therapy for yourself.
Putting your life partner, your soulmate, in a care facility is not a step to be taken lightly. Sometimes it is absolutely the right thing, the necessary thing, the best thing to do, for both of you. But before taking such a drastic step, I suggest taking the intermediate step of getting help in your own home, and getting more support for yourself. If you are already doing these things, then maybe it really is time to look for a good care facility.
Hugs to you. This is hard!
I am not sure how it works as I did not know about it until it was too late with my mom but homes take people for a few days or a week and the caregiver gets some rest.
You can't prevent it but you can anticipate it. Make sure he's had a snack and some fluid. If he is prescribed an anti-anxiety med make sure you've given it to him. Don't expect anything from him at this time (for example, not a good time to attempt to bathe him). Again, you can't prevent it but you might be able to make it easier on him and you.
If your friends and family are beginning to suggest that you place him in a skilled nursing facility maybe that's something you should think about.