One is using a walker, one is losing control of bodily functions. My dad is in nursing home and almost ready to come home but when he does my brother and I take care of both of them and change beds and clean up and change and clean my dad forever my brother takes care of mom and I take care of dad with everything we got and it does get overwhelming.
Vent if you need to vent. Cry if you need to. All of us have. Best wishes to you and your family.
It doesn't help to dwell on it. I've done that. It helps to have a plan ie. What you do, and what others do, and boundaries. Know your limits and take care of yourself too.
Are your parents still living in their own home? Time to seriously think about senior living if your parents can budget for that cost. If budgeting is out of the question, start the process of getting both qualified for Medicaid [which is different than Medicare]. Medicaid will pay for room/board and care at a nursing home.
As for coping with the stress, that isn't an easy answer. Some will say take a day off, but that could be easier said then done. There is always that stress of your cellphone ringing that one of the parents needs help. For me, I had to stop going to the movies, eating out, or going shopping. Groceries were now bought on-line, along with everything else.
My primary doctor had recommended meds for me to help take the edge off but I refused. Later I could kick myself for not taking her advise.
There is a lot to think about.
You mentioned nursing home. Why is your dad there? Is it rehab? Do you feel that it may be time your mom and dad reside permanently in a facility?
It is depressing and stressful. Are you taking breaks when needed? Do you have sitters to stay with your parents occasionally? Have you contacted Council on Aging for help?
They will do a needs assessment. It sounds like your parents would definitely qualify. There is a wait list but when approved you will receive help with bathing, preparing meals, tidying up rooms and sitting with them, they stay for four hour shifts. It is a free service to those who qualify.
Best wishes to you and your family.