Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mother is 78 and for her to live alone would be unsafe. She is forgetful and not stable mentally. I provide caregiving for her basic needs..cooking and cleaning. She is very demanding of my attention. She gets worked up when I'm not around and she shuts down mentally. When I'm not in her presence she will shut off all the lights in the house..won't eat without me, watch TV without me..etc. I know she needs psychiatric care but her primary care physician sees nothing wrong with her mental state nor has he ever considered testing her for dementia or alz.
OMG! Really??? You can't lock your door because she will get upset and you're "afraid" of her? So you live in fear in your own house? I'm having a hard time understanding this and even believing it. It sounds like it's your house that she lives in and according to your profile your mother only suffers from depression, so why in the world would you allow her to live with you? She should be out on her own and you should be able to live in your own house in peace. Do you not see that? So put your big girl/boy panties on and tell mom it's time she finds her own place, and make sure you give her a time frame for her to be out. And I would make it sooner than later.
Some children are groomed from birth to be responsible for a parent's happiness and care. It's their "normal". So no, it's not always easy to see what is abnormal in a parent-child dynamic. And when you do finally recognize it and stand up for yourself, you can expect a reign of terror. Especially if dementia has removed all filters. I have been asked many times when my mother's dementia started and I have no idea because difficult behaviour with depression slowly became completely irrational. It can be such a gradual progression that it's impossible to pinpoint. I suspect the OP is facing the same.
Since your mother is so unreasonable, and such a difficult case, consider moving her out of your house completely. And, if this is her house you're living in, YOU move out. She can hire caregivers if need be, or move into Assisted Living or any number of other options.
Living in fear of your mother should have ended when you were a young child or at least when you stopped living by her rules. That it didn't is a strong statement about what needs to happen moving forward. You are an adult now and get to call the shots, not mother.
Best of luck carving out your own future, which you deserve to do.
Please don’t live you life in fear. You have a right and a need for basic privacy. You’re not a child, any adult should understand this. Your profile says your mother has depression. This does not become an excuse to barge in on you anytime she pleases, unless you allow it. If it was me, there’s zero doubt I’d tell mom I need some privacy, and give her some times of not being available. And as for “going berserk” that’s on her, let her have at it. Much like a child having a tantrum, you ignore it and it will pass, cave in and it will continue
Problem is she goes berserk if I close my door so locking is not an option. I keep my door slightly open to keep her from becoming angered. I'm actually afraid to close my door conpletely..
There are combination door knobs with a lighted keypad. Only you know the combination, and there are 2 keys that you can use to get in and out also. It can be set to lock when you go in and close the door. If they don't have the key or the combination, they can't get in. It's not hard to install.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Has she been seen by a psychiatrist?
How is it that you come to live together?
It sounds like it's your house that she lives in and according to your profile your mother only suffers from depression, so why in the world would you allow her to live with you? She should be out on her own and you should be able to live in your own house in peace. Do you not see that?
So put your big girl/boy panties on and tell mom it's time she finds her own place, and make sure you give her a time frame for her to be out. And I would make it sooner than later.
Living in fear of your mother should have ended when you were a young child or at least when you stopped living by her rules. That it didn't is a strong statement about what needs to happen moving forward. You are an adult now and get to call the shots, not mother.
Best of luck carving out your own future, which you deserve to do.
Ask them to stop immediately. If they have dementia you should lock your door
because it will never change.