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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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How do you convince your family that you are burnt out? My father in law screams at me for everthing, which can mentally stress you out. I gave up my job to care for him due to having experience in this field.
My parents provided in-home care for my grandma for 10 years. When they hit "done" they called a family meeting. Informed them that they were moving out (quitting) with notice of 3 weeks.
The whole family ignored this. As long as Mom and Dad were doing everything..they could all just go about their lives.
But, when the day was less than a week away, and my folks announce their new address.....wow...the blow up was amazing. Now they believed them. Grandma was moved to NH within the week. See...no one else was going to do the personal care...just as long as my folks did it they could ignore it all.
Announce your date. And a week before hand..do it again. Then..on that date..leave the house. Go do whatever..job, job search at library, coffee shop, whatever. But stick to your guns. Force them to belly up.
Why do you need to convince them? Just give them notice and discontinue the care. Perhaps resume your career. I take it this is your spouse's father? What does your spouse day about this situation?
The entire family can discuss what to do about this screamer, but none of them individually or altogether can make your decisions about your life. You get to decide when you are burned out and when you have had enough.
How much respite do you get? How many hours/day do you spend with FIL? How many days of the week? Do you and your spouse get time alone together? Do you get any pay for the work you are doing?
Even if you're getting paid, you're still suppose to have time off. A regular full time job is max 40 hours per week, 80hrs for 2 weeks. If you work over 40 hrs in that one-week period, you should have overtime pay for those over 40hrs. You're also suppose to have vacation leave. They're using you. If they really appreciated your help, they would also have hired another caregiver - so that you both can do shifts. .. I mean, really, only 4 hours off Once a month????
Discuss this with your spouse. Draw your line in the sand. You have experience? Well, you can Teach the Family what to do! Look, my mom was bedridden for over 13 years. She was on trache (hole in throat for the oxygen) and stomach tube. My nieces visited once a week. They offered to help me change their grandma's pampers. All they did was hold grandma while I did all the dirty work. {chuckling... there was a lot of gagging and face turning away because grandma's poop was awfully stinky!} One day, I was busy, grandma was choking on her saliva. 17 year old niece jumped up, picked up the suction tube, turned on the machine and suctioned her grandma's throat. Did I Teach her how to do it? No. But she observed me doing it so many times, that she was able to do it on her own. This is from a 17 year old! By the way, her boyfriend's mother tried to dissuade her Not to help with her bedridden grandma because she might "catch" something bad from her. {eyes rolling}
I think you need to really re-evaluate your situation. Is it true that you are the only one who can take care of FIL (father-in-law)? Or is that a very good excuse for the family to palm him off on you?
if it was me I think I would just tell your wife and her family all at the time that you did your time caring for her father as long as you can. explain that your served your time and its one of their turns to take over. give them a date tell them you will be looking for a paid position and you will no longer be available after that date. and stick to your guns. its hard but its even harder when its not your own family to care for. your wifes family needs to know that someone else needs to step up to the plate and help out like you did, and if not tell them to start looking for a nursing home .....
My parents provided in-home care for my grandma for 10 years. When they hit "done" they called a family meeting. Informed them that they were moving out (quitting) with notice of 3 weeks.
The whole family ignored this. As long as Mom and Dad were doing everything..they could all just go about their lives.
But, when the day was less than a week away, and my folks announce their new address.....wow...the blow up was amazing. Now they believed them. Grandma was moved to NH within the week. See...no one else was going to do the personal care...just as long as my folks did it they could ignore it all.
Announce your date. And a week before hand..do it again. Then..on that date..leave the house. Go do whatever..job, job search at library, coffee shop, whatever. But stick to your guns. Force them to belly up.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The whole family ignored this. As long as Mom and Dad were doing everything..they could all just go about their lives.
But, when the day was less than a week away, and my folks announce their new address.....wow...the blow up was amazing. Now they believed them. Grandma was moved to NH within the week. See...no one else was going to do the personal care...just as long as my folks did it they could ignore it all.
Announce your date. And a week before hand..do it again. Then..on that date..leave the house. Go do whatever..job, job search at library, coffee shop, whatever. But stick to your guns. Force them to belly up.
The entire family can discuss what to do about this screamer, but none of them individually or altogether can make your decisions about your life. You get to decide when you are burned out and when you have had enough.
How much respite do you get? How many hours/day do you spend with FIL? How many days of the week? Do you and your spouse get time alone together? Do you get any pay for the work you are doing?
Discuss this with your spouse. Draw your line in the sand. You have experience? Well, you can Teach the Family what to do! Look, my mom was bedridden for over 13 years. She was on trache (hole in throat for the oxygen) and stomach tube. My nieces visited once a week. They offered to help me change their grandma's pampers. All they did was hold grandma while I did all the dirty work. {chuckling... there was a lot of gagging and face turning away because grandma's poop was awfully stinky!} One day, I was busy, grandma was choking on her saliva. 17 year old niece jumped up, picked up the suction tube, turned on the machine and suctioned her grandma's throat. Did I Teach her how to do it? No. But she observed me doing it so many times, that she was able to do it on her own. This is from a 17 year old! By the way, her boyfriend's mother tried to dissuade her Not to help with her bedridden grandma because she might "catch" something bad from her. {eyes rolling}
I think you need to really re-evaluate your situation. Is it true that you are the only one who can take care of FIL (father-in-law)? Or is that a very good excuse for the family to palm him off on you?
Give notice just like you would with any other job. If he is in your home, you can give an eviction notice too, or move out yourself.
your wifes family needs to know that someone else needs to step up to the plate and help out like you did, and if not tell them to start looking for a nursing home .....
The whole family ignored this. As long as Mom and Dad were doing everything..they could all just go about their lives.
But, when the day was less than a week away, and my folks announce their new address.....wow...the blow up was amazing. Now they believed them. Grandma was moved to NH within the week. See...no one else was going to do the personal care...just as long as my folks did it they could ignore it all.
Announce your date. And a week before hand..do it again. Then..on that date..leave the house. Go do whatever..job, job search at library, coffee shop, whatever. But stick to your guns. Force them to belly up.