My in laws have moved in with us, because it became apparent to their daughters that they could not care for themselves. I am OK with taking care of them. But it is frustrating at times because they rely on me for everything. Even things they did for themselves when they lived on their own..(hanging up their phone, looking up phone numbers for them, shopping online for gifts for other family members, finding her a new watch, calling their bank, finding things they have misplaced, etc.) I understand that, but they expect me to drop everything. I am setting boundaries and working through the frustration. The problem is that I was trying to discuss it with my husband (their son), and vent while at the same time state my issues out loud so I can find a solution.. He became so angry and 'threatened' to tell them its not working. He was angry with me!! Of course that made me angry and I said, 'clearly you have no idea the work that goes into this.' He got even angrier. What the hell?? I didn't respond after that. I'm curious as to why he is not superbly grateful that I have agreed to let his parents move in, and I made their space lovely. I cook a beautiful meal for all of us every night. My mother in law is gluten free so that is even more work. I'm confused by his outburst, and by the fact that he 'threatened' to tell them they had to find other arrangements.. Does he think he's doing me a favor by having them here? Did he think I was going to back down and say, "oh please don't do that!" They are not my parents and I've been kind enough to treat them with loving care, and patience. I have worked very hard to make them comfortable and he yells at me? I don't want to cuss but I am feeling like a *&^%$ secretary, cook, house keeper, chauffeur, therapist, and social committee all at once. And to boot, after I was discussing our day, before he freaked out, he said, "just so you know, Im going sailing on Sunday. And I want you to take pictures." EXCUSE ME?????? (And it's Valentines day) #$%@&^*
You: Girls weekend: with your sisters or girlfriends *out of town* with phone off.
Him: Taking care of his parents.
It sounds to me as though he is stressed by all the work that you are having to do to make life easy for his parents.
I would accept his offer and say "yes, you're right, this is too much work; we need to get our life back."
Find them a lovely Assisted Living facility where they will have numerous staff members to assist them.
You guys can go back to being loving kids and advocates for them.
Believe me when I say thay THAT is a lot of work!