She's in a vicious cycle. She's had accidents and peed on herself (while wearing a heavy duty brief), so she won't drink anything, which is causing dehydration, which causes extreme confusion, and then she pees all over the floor, toilet seat and herself. She has dementia and Parkinson's, so it's very difficult to reason with her.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
jello (thickened)water and jello diluted juice?
broth with meals?
Sometimes ice in the drink ?
(Temperature preference? )
fruit and ice smoothies ? Or puréed and spoon fed?
different cups or sippy bottles? one with a big straw?
Verbal reminders every 15-20 (if applicable)“mom did you get a drink?” “Mom do you need more to drink?” “Mom do you need a sip of water?”
rotate; a bite, a drink; a bite, a drink
sit them with drink by a window? Sometimes they’ll drink without the thoughts and fears with just the calming scene of the outdoors as distraction
Offering drinks on the potty where the immediate fear of an accident is not applicable…? “You won’t have an accident mom cuz you’re on the potty!” And tone of voice helps!
Sometimes making the drink about YOU.. “mom, I need your help! The doctor wants you to drink this much water while I’m here. Will you help me so I can make the doc happy?”
making light of the accidents? “Mom I’m kinda glad you did that! That means you drank your water! Yay! I’m so proud of you for drinking your water! Do you want more water after we get fresh clothes? “
And distract from the cleanup while it’s going on.. talk about the birds outside, the last visit you had at aunt so and so’s.. how to make clean up less traumatic or just a non issue?
Hope you find the magic way for your LO!
She has Alz, Vascular Dementia, Lewy Body, Sundowners and Stage 4 Kidney Disease :( She refuses to drink fluids except coffee in the am, water with pills am/pm then sweet tea at dinner and small sips maybe throughout the day but rarely. She wears depends and can't feel when she poops/pees and doesn't like going to the bathroom due to incontinence. I offer her fruit, drinks, ice cream etc and leave a glass on the table full so she can get it when she wants. She's drinking less than 16oz a day and with the stage 4 kidney disease and dehydration I am beginning to worry how long she can go like this? The nurse comes every wed and checks her over and she is dehydrated again and according to my scale she has lost 19 pounds since being in the hospital a mo ago, she eats really good so don't get that. Thoughts? Am I going to wake up and find her unresponsive from dehydration, it worries me when I am doing all I can.
I say with extreme kindness that dementia patients are adult human beings. There comes a point in late dementia when we have to look at the whole person. When they fight and absolutely refuse to eat and drink, when they cry when their depends are changed, they are saying: “I’m a person! Stop forcing me! Respect my dignity!”
Why are we forcing our nearest and dearest to bend to OUR needs!
People DO die of Alzheimer’s!
Would you like the humiliation of “strangers” (they don’t know who you are!) washing your bum and putting diapers on you? Forcing food, medicine, and liquids down your throat?
These are adults cognizant of what is happening to them. They aren’t babies!
They feel humiliation and embarrassment. I’ve been caring for thousands of such patients for forty years.
Treat then as the adults they are!
His drinking fluids is not great, suggestions were made for glass of warm water with lemon and honey in the morning.
Papaya juice is supposed to be the best, fresh papaya with watermelon and banana or other fruits make good smoothie.
But not much can be done, sad fact of this horrible disease.
does your mother like watermelon? you can cut some small pieces, so it’s easy for her to chew.
watermelon is very nutritious AND full of water :).
I took another posters suggestion about Popsicles and she lives them. She is doing well with eating them and getting some hydration.
I also tried milkshakes but she didn't care for them.
Thank you so much.
actually many elderly people just don’t feel like drinking (although they’ll eat). dehydration is very typical.
it’s not a strong instinct to drink (unless you haven’t drunken for many days). and people with dementia (or parkinson’s with dementia) often don’t feel thirsty.
you have to force/remind them to drink.
many people in general (even us here on this forum) should actually be drinking more water, stay more hydrated.
i myself force my LO to drink water (we toast together, “cheers!”). i drink water at the same time, so i’m not hypocritically forcing only my LO.
What can she eat without aspiration? If thin fluids need to be thickened then she may not even realize she is consuming what was a "liquid". If aspiration is possible then avoid things like jello and even ice cream. As these will liquify before they are swallowed.
Soup, pudding, cream of wheat, cream of rice, oatmeal. Any food placed in a blender with a bit of broth or other liquid that will allow the food to be pureed.
I would strongly suggest that you have an evaluation done for Hospice. They can be of great help and will provide you with supplies and equipment that you need.
There's no 'manual' for going through these types of diseases with a loved one. Each day is literally a new chapter in learning and becoming wise in what to do, what to ask, and who to ask.
TammyN simply asked a VERY pertinent question...one that even though my mom is in a 24/7 professional, very good facility...I have had to ask as well. The way people respond/reply is a KEY FACTOR in whether or not a person will continue to ask questions while on their particular journey.
Perhaps a more sensitive reply like "Have you requested an assessment for your mom for Palliative or possibly Hospice Care? Those agencies could be of great help," would go a lot farther when trying to help guide individuals.
Just my opinion...but I know I've been dismayed after asking a truly honest question but had people insert their 'assumptions' or just flat out reply negatively or with a "tone" literally for no reason at all.
It is a truly new journey “parenting our parents” and navigating through new waters can be stressful but, hang in there and be creative!
My best you you💕
parkinson's...dementia...it's all very hard. and you're extremely kind, loving to be helping your mother.
so i'm just writing as 1 daughter to another: you're awesome! i hope in the middle of all this, you can also relax, have good times.
Good luck!
https://www.thickenupclear.com/
She also takes a cranberry capsule and D-Mannose supplement for bladder health. She wears depends but almost never soils them.
Regularly offer her small, fresh, palatable drinks of types which you know she prefers, or juicy, appetising snacks such as jello, ice cream, fresh fruit.
If her Parkinson's and/or dementia symptoms are troublesome, she may need extra help such as lidded beakers or hydration bottles for drinking, adapted spoons for eating, and also support with the physical task.
To illustrate the last example: you ask her if she would like some ice cream, she agrees to try a little, you place it by her, nothing happens. She may just have changed her mind (or not like vanilla - did you ask?), but another possibility is that her brain has lost an ability called initiative - she can't take the first step, that key link in the process is broken. If you place the dish in her one hand and the spoon in the other (going gently and checking that she's comfortable at each step) you may find she then eats it all up without stopping.
As a rule, regular supported toileting will be better than heavy duty pads during the day; and I hope to goodness any accidents are sympathetically handled (I'm sure they are, but such accidents are mortifying enough without anyone commenting). Are you dealing with this or is your mother in residential care? - sorry, I should have checked your profile, I know.
I have to tell you, my mother who also had dementia refused to drink liquids too.........for years, b/c she didn't want to have to pee. This went on pre dementia and post dementia............and she managed to live to the ripe old age of 95 and did not die of dehydration. She said she never felt thirsty, so it wasn't like she was ignoring a need, either.
I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult situation; I know how hard it is to want our mother's to do certain things & having them refuse to. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace, no matter how things turn out.