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I have not read the responses but this worked for me... I told my Daddy that he ran out of his prescription and we need to go to the doctor to refill it. OOOH that got him in the car fast. And when I set up the appointment I told the receptionist that I needed to talk to the doctor BEFORE my Daddy. The doctor and I talked about the situation at home and since he was a geriatric doctor he understood. So fast forward to my daddys turn at the appointment the doctor told him what needed to be done and I just repeated what the doctor said when a situation would develop. Also, it sounds as if your mom may have a UTI. UTI's in an elderly person affects them differently than someone younger than 60. If she is accusing you of being against her in some way, IMO she has a UTI. Your mom might need anti-depressant meds due to the loss of her family, my brother did after his divorce. Also, to get guardianship you will need two doctors diagnosis of mental disability and go to court. You can make an appointment to see an elderly attorney for that kind of legal advise (which by the way was worth the money for me). Please note that this is my experience. Hugs and blessings
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Just because you are a nurse doesn't mean it's the best thing for YOU to be your mother's 24/7/365 caregiving slave.

Look at how stressed you are now -- do you have any idea what it would be like if she moved in? Why would you put your family through that? Why would you put yourself through that?

It sounds like your mother needs to be in a facility.
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You have a tough situation. If she has not officially been diagnosed as having dementia she can still legally sign a Power of Attorney (POA). This has to be done with a notary public present. But, if she doesn't trust you that might prove difficult. I suspect this eventually will mean a trip to the ER where she will be so diagnosed and you can get a lawyer to have a judge appoint you as guardian. Good luck.
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Without diagnosis this won't happen.
And if you have "left the family" and your mom doesn't trust you, this won't happen.
Speaking of having left the family: who is there with Mom and do they agree with you?
Is the family united that this is looking like dementia? Because from your description it could as easily be mental illness or deep depression brought on by grief.
From your post I think your mom has made it clear she doesn't want your help. You have also told us you don't live there and there is other family there. Are they more familiar with mom and what do they think?
You don't say what agencies you have tried. Have you asked APS for a wellness check telling them your mom seems in danger to you? Asking for an assessment?
Have you asked her doctor how best to proceed?
And again, have you discussed with your family.
Long and short of what you need to know is that the courts of our land will NOT take a citizen's rights from him or her without solid reason this must be done for his or her own safety. That means you would need full physical and neurological workup to present to the courts, and if your mom wished her own attorney to fight your asking for conservatorship, that would be provided to her and she would likely win after you paid your lawyer a minimum of 10,000.00. It isn't against the laws of the land to be depressed and angry and slow to pay bills.
So basically, on the basis only of what you have told us, no wandering, no getting lost out there and family being contacted by police, no setting house on fire with stove, you don't have anything solid to present to MDs or to courts.
Why in the WORLD you would want to move a demented senior who is paranoid about you into your own home a world away from her home and family? That makes me question your foundation in a way to approach and intent to proceed. Have you any idea at all what this would require of you?
Before you leave to go back home speak with the family who is there about ways they can check up on your mom. Form a good phone tree to speak with them. Keep checking in with them.
Best of luck.
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Well--I wouldn't take her in to live with me. At first blush, that seems 'wisest' but she will bring all this misery to your home and you don't need that.

You have moved away from your home to take care of her? And she's not responding?

Do you have sibs who are supportive or are you all alone in this?

Since she's not respecting YOU, maybe you might as well set up in home CG for her and go back home, keeping in touch with the CG's.

Call a CG agency and get more info. You can probably do more than you think.

In the meantime--good luck. This is no darn fun, is it?
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