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My MIL is 93 and leans on the cart and is determined as any stubborn person can be. So, we have food delivered when we are not going to be there. And if we are going out together, I get online and order for sidewalk pick up. The tricky part is keeping her from “oh I forgot” something. Going in for just a few things has been a challenge-so I like to shop from the flyer we get in the mail. Then we get the deals, she is not deadly tired and trying to be brave and when we are planning the week, our meals are written down. With so little control in her life, this seems to be the way to get it back in some fashion. I introduced the flyer shopping to her by saying, “I think I will cook ??? This week and then we progressed to left over day and lunches and etc. etc. So far so good but it can change any moment. She doesn’t like to hear the word no or wait so creative distractions are necessary.
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It appears that your father-in-law likes to shop in the store, but shopping carts are not safe to hold onto for balance. Has he considered using a scooter or wheelchair to get himself around the store?

The other option is to shop online and have items delivered to him. He can sit with you next to the computer or device to help you pick out his items..
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Susansa: He could opt for food delivery service.
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Maybe, he would do better shopping with a rolling walker - the kind with a seat. He can "help" select his preferences and "rest" when he needs a break.
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waytomisery Apr 15, 2024
OP says the man is very unsteady even holding on walking with a shopping cart. When they got that unsteady my rule was they sat in a wheelchair when I took them out . I wasn’t having a nervous breakdown because they were too stubborn or vain.

Outings are on caregivers terms .
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Does your grocery store have electric sit down carts? That would be a good solution. That would allow him to shop with you, get out of the house and see people and feel independent.
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waytomisery Apr 15, 2024
They would most likely have to help this man get in and out of the electric cart . That’s a back injury for the caregivers just waiting to happen . It’s just as bad as them holding him up while he walks .

There comes a time when someone needs to admit they are not independent
Propping up a false independence is a bad idea .

In this man’s case a transport wheelchair is safest for him and his caregivers , if the caregivers are willing to take him out. If the man is offered a wheelchair and refuses then he doesn’t go in the store . Period .
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