She's 63, had a stroke 2 months ago, and is now in the second skilled nursing rehab and I already think it's not going to work out. I begged the hospital to sign my PFML (paid fam medical leave) and they said she needs max assistance PT care so suggested ANOTHER rehab. I wanted to take her home, get my 3 months off and care for her 24/7 with the assistance of a fam friend who agreed to move in as well. Social worker at hospital last week said OF COURSE lets do that and we'll overnight all of the equipment, but now it is back to square one. Any advice on how to get her home and still be able to get her in-home rehab? She is still on private insurance with Medicaid as a backup. Only child here, no family to help. Please any advice.
I think you would do best to help your mom while she's in rehab. She can use extra help there and you do what you can do while still working. Let her get as much rehab and PT as possible and then see what she is able to accomplish.
If you bring her home now you will be stressed and burnt out in a VERY short amount of time. I would not do it.
So sorry for your situation. So difficult. Best of luck.
Please ask yourself the hard questions.
Love.
What does this mean to you?
A rehabilitation facility. What does that mean to you?
Do you feel love is going to cure your Mother's stroke?
Do you feel being in a home environment will bring improvements better than exercises prescribed by Physioterapists & Occupational Therapists in a rehab setting?
I do understand the feeling to wrap someone up & bring them home ❤️
Go past this feeling.
Go to thinking.
Use your judgement & reasoning.
Can you get access to enough PT & OT in the home? Will you have a team of aides? Or just one friend to help - an unpaid friend will not last long. Solo caregivers burn out very fast.
I'd say do a 48 hour trial of doing ALL Mom's care in rehab to educate yourself on the real situation. Then have a cry. A big one. It's allowed. Then start to accept what the situation is.
I have a remote job, which meant I could work from my mom's bedside. I realize that's not an option for most people.
I watched a ton of YouTube videos and read training books for home health aides.
While my mom was there (SNF) we added grab bars and such in her home, basically getting it ready for her return. An OT and PT arranged to come to the house and make recommendations, and there was home health for a while after that (nurse, PT, OT).
My mom was able to stand and transfer before I took her home. She was also able to walk a bit, and your profile suggests that may not be the case with your own mom (at least not yet).
I know what you mean about the mental state improving at home. But the physical challenges do seem pretty daunting right now. Any progress on the walking / standing endurance front?
So sorry you and your mom are going through this.
Please reconsider. Surely you don’t want to harm mom, you want her to have the best care. That means professionals.
Good luck.
I certainly don't blame you for being scared and leery to send mom back to another Skilled Nursing facility for rehab, after the nightmare you experienced before. 😑
Here in Colorado we have licensed acute rehabilitation hospitals that cover a wide range of physical and cognitive issues patients suffer from. Regular rehabs in SNFs do not do well with cognitively impaired folks bc they can't retain information or follow directions. The big one here is Spalding Rehabilitation Hospital. You can look it up online to get an idea of what they offer, to see if such a facility exists in your area.
I wish you the best of luck with a difficult situation. All the best to you and mom.
You can’t possibly provide intensive max PT assistance as you aren’t trained and it takes 3 adults to care for one adult. You and your friend have no relief. Where are The other 4 people you need to pull this off?
Your mother deserves to have qualified professional care.