Her dad's health was declining taking care of her mom with Alzheimer's. My friend was recently widowed, her siblings, and children aren't helpful. She took her dad to a lawyer to draw up papers (advance directives, Will, DNR's etc.)That's when she found her dad is leaving everything to the oldest son, and refuses to place his wife in a home. Her mom is combative, and berates her dad, which breaks her heart.
Her mother doesn't know my friend anymore, and thinks my friend's house is hers. She feels like a prisoner in her home. I need direction. I don't want to make things more tense for her. Suggestions on how I can help. What kinds of things would you want someone to offer you as a caregiver? Thank you
As others have said, this sounds like a toxic situation. I would advise you to limit your exposure, too! Find your limit and don't go over it, but bringing food and/or being with your friend once or twice a month I'm sure could be a lifesaver for her.
She probably needs a lot of listening. Again, if you get overwhelmed, protect yourself. It is best if she uses your sounding board skills to vent and move forward, not to let herself cling to an impossible situation. As gently as possible, make the suggestions above, maybe one at a time so she can hear -- when she is at her wit's end, she may be open to them after a bit of venting!
Again, I applaud you on being a good friend.