Any advice greatly appreciated. My grandfather has been showing signs of dementia for a year or so now. My dad lives with him and does what he can. Recently he has gone down hill significantly. I am his POA and named on all of his affairs. However he never gave me a copy of the paperwork. A week ago today he left his home to get something to eat and was gone for hours, not answering his phone. 4 and a half hours later and 3 police/sheriff agencies we found him, 4 miles or so from his home, on the side of the road his car was wrecked and he had no idea where he was. He could hardly stand or walk and couldn't answer questions regarding what happened due to memory and word finding. His license was taking by the police. The insurance company is needing a copy of the POA paperwork so that I can take care of the car. He is fighting me saying I dont need the paperwork etc. He states he doesn't remember the lawyer who did the paperwork. Today got pretty heated. I am in desperate need of getting these papers not only for the car but mainly so that I can take care of him and his affairs. He does not bathe anymore - barely eats - has lost a lot of weight and has bladder issues but refuses any type of products to help with accidents. He hardly drinks throughout the day I think to avoid more bladder issues. Help!
How can I get this paperwork that I know exists?
I've called multiple lawyers no luck, His financial advisor, his bank, doctor, and hospital. No luck.
You might start with a police report that documents his state of mind, the accident and that they took his license. Go get a consult with an attorney to find out if that's enough to establish incompetency to be over his affairs. If his child(ren) are living, it may have to be one of them.
You should ask all of his children if they have a copy of the will (and POA). Once he is deemed incompetent, he will not be able to write a new will. So that means, when his life is over a probate w/out will would have to be done and his leftovers would just be divided between the living children. If no children, then to siblings or grandkids, I'm sure.
You might ask him again about these documents. Remind him they took his license and w/out the license he can't get the car back, but if the two of you could find the POA, you would be able to help him get the car. Just tell him, insurance company wants to help him and wants to see that you were given permission to help him out.
I do question that you say you are POA, but never got a copy of the document. Have you ever handled any task for him as his POA...and how did you prove you were POA? Or did he just tell you you were, but never had to actually do any thing for him that required a POA?
Again, you need to seek help with the County, even the State of VA, where your grandfather lives.
It needs to be drawn up by an attorney, and they notarize / authenticate it.
Please be sure on stating procedures here - especially considering different State requirements, as a response like this could create a lot of fear - for so many - who haven't filed their POA with the county / state.
Another issue that needs immediate attention:
* Getting GrDad medically evaluated for (in)capacitation [as] this is the first step to getting the legal authority needed to make decisions your gr-dad can no longer make.
* ASAP: Secure services of an attorney specializing in estate / elder trusts.
Gena / Touch Matters
Any chance he was computer literate enough to have something in an old email?
Good luck.
too many people misthinking getting a doctor to say he is incompetent helps them. It is the opposite. You need doctor signing statement thst he knows who his family is, knows his assets knows, what a will and POA are, knows consequences of his decision in assigning people to those estate planning documents. Then next step is to take patient or parent to notary to get POA for thst Stste signed and add j to it thst it is effective immediately. These rules are based on CA definition of competence for “probable and escape planning reasons.” Each State has own Probate Code.
In the section marked "PoA and Executor".
We did not have the person we chose as PoA sign anything, but we spoke with her and she said she'd handle things, if the situation arises. She knows where all out documentation is and I would THINK that if your dad's will is in as huge a binder as ours is--it would be difficult to lose.
In my experience, the PoA kind of just slides into existence. When the need arises, the document could be pulled out and copied, the original returned to the file and then the PoA has a copy.
Both my YB's were PoA's for mom. Other than the younger of the two really made a big deal out of it--but the older one kept him in check.
And, even though we have done this work to set things up--we may very well change our minds. I am already thinking about appointing our son-in-law as executor. Dynamics change within a family and sometimes the person you thought would be the best choice, no longer is the best choice.
Tell him if he doesn’t do this, then the Govt will do it for him and charge his assets to take care of all his bills, care, everything in his life and where he lives. It’s true. He will become under the control of the Govt if you can’t find POA, which he probably through out, or he doesn’t sign new one with notary.
So get another POA immediately. Use online State Durable POA form. Make it effective immediately. Have him, and you sign it with his bank notary or other notary. Add other provisions to it if you want.