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Slatbart, please read up on Fear, Obligation and Guilt.

Whether or not mom gets angry is not the issue.

No one but you is going to put your needs first.

If you needing something makes mom angry...so?

Have you ever seen a movie called Now, Voyager?
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You are in my prayers. I feel many of the same things, though am only 2 years into the journey. I posted on here for the first time today , hoping for just a bit of encouragement and got blasted with judgment instead. People thinking it was fishy that I was doing so much for my mom in order to allow her to stay in her own home as long as possible. I do it because I love my mother and don't want her to be lonely! Right? Godspeed, my friend.
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LoopyLoo Jul 2023
Nkelly, you only mentioned arthritis as your mom’s issue. Had you mentioned dementia as well, people could help you better. You can’t leave out pertinent info and then get mad when people don’t totally know what you’re dealing with.

Also, it is not up to you to keep your mother from being lonely. It’s great to care for her, but “I have to be there so she never gets lonely” is enmeshment. Both of you keeping to yourselves is isolating.
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