Glad to have found this forum. I currently have a situation where my disabled, chronically ill mother (67) is declining into dementia or Alzheimer’s (though doctor’s have not formally said this yet—I see it coming). She took a fall in her apt and after 8 days in the hospital, she was taken to an SNF for therapy for being fall risk and the doc not wanting to send her home on her own. She only gives one word responses but can still read and eat, walk on her own sometimes. She is incontinent sometimes and wears adult diapers. I ultimately will NOT want guardianship over her once and if she is deemed unable to make her own decisions. She has Medicare and Medicaid. The doctors did mention she may have to go to assisted living. I also found out 6 months ago (and noticed her declining cognition) she was abusing her pain medication (oxy based) and she was not going to doc appts. She seemed to give up taking care of herself and if I suggested anything she told me to “mind my own business”.
Our backstory is I was extremely parentified by my mother who was an alcoholic and has had Dysfunctional issues all my life. She no longer drinks, but has abused drugs in the past. She also enables a sibling who abuses drugs and they are both triangulated in drama constantly with their older sibling.
I was ultimately raised by other family members who were functional and I left my hometown and made a life for myself in the military. I came back to my hometown eventually, but 10 years ago I TOTALLY cut ties and set boundaries with my Dysfunctional family of origin, including my mother who, despite my continued efforts to assist her in constructive ways, continued to be in triangulation, enmeshment and dysfunctional family trauma and generally make bad decisions.
I, at age 51, have no available resources or willingness as her only child (daughter) to be her guardian or burden/expose my own family with her issues and at present I have NO POAs etc. Before she fell ill, I was planning on relocating with my family for new opportunity and still plan on doing so. Has anyone ever just let the social workers in the SNF take over and have a parent become a ward of the state? After decades of trying to help my mother I am resentful and burnt out emotionally and mentally. I have nothing left to give her except to let the state take care of her and get her the help she needs.
Thanks in advance for any responses.