My sister has been self absorbed all her life. She takes no responsibility for her hateful actions, and constanly blames others for her actions. Our mother is 90 and in my care. My sister refused to help when our mother was going through treatment for cancer years ago, so it all fell on me to get mom through it. All my sister cared about was what she could get out of moms house while she was with us going through kemo.
Now she has everything she could possibly get her hands on including all the family albums, and mom's car (which she had been trying to get for years even though mom was capable of driving herself). During a recent situation that mom caused, leading me to realize that she has Dementia, my sister realizes that my husband and I have been supporting mom monitarily for years. She has pretty much broke off communications with mom. She did call on Christmas, but other than that she does not call her. Mom gets confused and can't seem to figure out the phone most days so she waits for other people to call her. I check on her all during the day since we put a small cottage just for her on our acreage. She loves having her own space and we know we can keep her safe for now.
I can't help feeling resentment toward my sister for her lack of caring, and self centered personality. I accept the responsibility for the POA assigned to me by our mother. However I can't seem to wrap my mind around the hate that my sister feels toward us as well as the out and out lies she has told to con other people.
I could use some hints on how some of you deal with this kind of situation. I know I'm not the only one. Every family seems to have at least one :-(
Good luck - this family stuff is horrible.
And recently I and my Fiance moved into my grandmother's home to become financial stable but only with her permission. We pay all bills except property taxes and have been accused now of stealing from her and been told that " we are disrespectful of my grandfather" when he told each of them that his home would be open to anyone who needs time to figure things out.
However, the house isn't in the best shape for my grandmother to live there and she has moments of cognitive decline but hasn't been diagnosed with anything but my aunt and uncles seem to think she is completely incapable of making decisions but she isn't.
My mother dies her share in caring for my grandmother but only when my aunt allows it's usually because she is tried of taking care of my grandmother. My aunt and uncles yells at my mother constantly because they feel that it is her sole responsibility of caring for my grandmother.
It has gotten to the point of them breaking into the house and scaring me and my Fiance.
Someone please help me with this. I really have been pushed into a corner. My aunt and uncles are treating my mother horrible and starting to try to force out of my grandmother's home and literally into the street with no where to go.
I to am having the same issues, My Mother has passed 15 Months ago and my brother has control of my mothers now Ex-Husband being Next of Kin.
I have been told on 3 occasions that a Will to my mothers estate exists 2 times from my mother and even once from my brother. However on passing my brother has claimed that a will does not exist claiming (Died Intestate). I don't know what to believe as my family are Herbitual fabricators of the truth so I'm now having to Reach Search on the National Will Database UK. My issue is this my brother is a money grabber and using (died intestate) the first £250,000 and half there-after goes to the husband and half of everything else, So on an Estate upto £300,000 I could only get £15,000 under intestate law so my answer to you is get a Validated Will from a Solicitor and gain power of attorney over your mothers affairs.
Make everyone aware of where to find the will in the event of her passing to cover any inaccuracies, And above all get this varified if the person involved has a memory problem as a relative can claim void under Deminished Responsibility.
Final thoughts are (Pay for the burial if the person is cremated) as just as a twist siblings will try to claim the ashes if they can't claim anything else. They are even nasty to the point where they will also claim a cut of the ashes, in the UK this is still classed as a person, Under law in the UK the ashes reside with the bill payer and Solicitors will not entertain disputes over remains. For me it's to late as the Husband paid, for you I hope you are now armed for the days ahead as siblings are nasty scratchy people and remind me of the Gollum creature in JRR Tolkens Novel The Lord Of The Rings.
over the money, she ended up dying very quickly as the care she so badly needed was
never provided. After my aunt's funeral, I was treated to shouting, cursing and name
calling because one cousin thought I was possibly standing in her way to immediately
receive her inheritance (I guess she wanted it the day of the funeral!). The total to be
divided four ways was at most $20,000 all cousins owned their homes outright while their mother lived in a run down area. Also my aunt's "good friend", neighbor, and some time caretaker tried to steal from her as well while she was ill. I put a stop to it, and boy
did this woman shoot me daggers.
It's the human condition, some people develop their character, other's develop their
public mask instead. The ironic thing is that greedy, selfish even to the point of sociopathy types often look better to others than the folks that do all the actual work.
So damned frustrating to watch someone steal from their dying relatives, put on a teary
show at the funeral, and then turn into a monster immediately again after the last
guest leaves. How the heck do these guys live with themselves??