My husband is using handheld urinals at home, as this is the best solution for his conditions. It ends up being neater, as it minimizes accidents. Since the urinals should be easily accessible, they are placed in the most used areas of the house. He is emptying them in the bathroom and thoroughly cleaning them each time. I like our arrangement when it's just the two of us, since there are few boundaries between us as spouses.
We have a strong disagreement when it comes to receiving visitors. I prefer that in those times we keep the urinals less visible, either in a corner, covered or in the bathroom. He sees that as an affront to himself and his condition, and insists I shouldn't be ashamed of him. I don't want him to feel less than, yet I still can't get myself to be ok with actual urine being in sight of our guests. If the urinal is not totally empty, there is little doubt what's in it.
The other aspect is that even though he started to use adult diapers at times, keeping the urinals out of sight could lead to even more embarrassing accidents if he cannot reach one easily.
Please help me understand if I am being overly sensitive. Do you have any advice how to handle this from a relationship perspective or a more practical way?
I am a woman (also a nurse with much past exposure to both male and female nakedness.). And I would say, don't be too hard on a man who seems to care little for privacy.
I don't know, but I sometimes think that boys/men learn modesty almost exclusively from women...mothers, wives, aunts, sisters, female teachers etc.! If visitors are to include women, maybe you can remind him that women tend to be easily (perhaps excessively so) embarrassed by some things. Though you and he both appreciate the visits, you don't want to make your women friends uncomfortable. He may be too tired, ill or uncomfortable to care. If that's the case, there may be little you can do except take care of his urination in the least obvious ways possible.