A few months ago I moved back in with my grandparents, whom raised me due to health issues I am having. But now I now feel like it was a bad idea. My grandfather is disgusting, he purposely urinates all over the bathroom floor. The bathroom floor has to be mopped daily and the toilet has to be throughly cleaned at least 2 to 3 times a day. My grandfather has asked my grandfather to use his urinal bottle but when he uses that he lets it fill all the way to top and after that he pees in his bedroom trashcan. He refuses to bathe and is verbally abusive to my grandmother and I. I am very worried about my grandmother she is not in the best of health and I read somewhere that 60% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for. My grandfather is going to drive my grandmother to an earlier grave if something doesn't change. And no, my grandfather doesn't suffer from dementia, he was been throughly tested for it on more than one occasion. I do not say anything to him about his behavior because it is not my place, my grandmother scolds him but he acts like he doesn't even hear her. I am just so frustrated because he makes me and my grandmother's life that much more difficult.
2. How much of the behavior is deliberate? Have you seen him do it? I've recently read that problems with eyesight and depth perception can contribute to men peeing all over the place. If the toilet is the same light color as the walls and floor it may actually be hard for him to hit the target, and of course he'd rather come across as a mean old goat than to admit he is having that kind of problem. Painting the wall behind the toilet using an in-toilet cleaner that turns the water blue or green may help if this is the problem. (Of course, it won't help if he really is a mean old goat.)
3. Molly's suggestion about bringing in some outside help sounds good. A housekeeper who focusses on the bathroom might be useful! Or a male companion to accompany Gramps to the bathroom.
4. IF he can control his behavior, then some behavior mod techniques may help to retrain him. But that is pretty futile if he is doing this because his brain is defective.
So ... I think the basic first thing is to try to figure out why this is happening. And his primary care doctor may be the place to start.
Grandmother is lucky she has you there to look after her interests.
Good luck!
Without some intervention-- his behavior will worsen--sadly-- for some reason he thinks he can do whatever he wants and whomever expense--
Is it possible for a a few people to speak with him--
Does your grandmother qualify for home health care--or some outside help?
How long has this been occurring--is he mad that his wife is not 100%