Got threatened by Memory Care Facility Director. What is my Course of Action?

My brother and I took care of our mother who has Alzheimer's and requires 24x7 care. When we both became ill and hospitalized due to COVID we placed her in a memory care facility. In the beginning they gave us weekly updates on my mother who was enjoying her stay. There were county restrictions for nursing home visits so we called or did FaceTime. We were able to visit in August and September but my mother refused to speak to us (it was outdoors with a plastic sheet and she complained she was cold).

Visits were halted again and we tried to setup phone call but email and phone requests were ignored. My brother and I would mail our mother letters and cards but it did not appear she received them. Visits resumed in December and I was able to schedule a visit on her birthday but it was canceled that same day. Funny her birthday was never acknowledged in their newsletter they send out every month to spouses and relatives. Visits were stopped again. Instead we were blasted with COVID vaccine notices. I sent several emails asking to opt out and was finally acknowledged. I tried to find out how my mother was doing but emails and phone calls were ignored.

This year my mother was sent to the ER twice. First time they said she was not eating for several days. I could not visit her in the hospital but was told she was discharged for dehydration. I asked the facility if she was eating again and after several inquiries was told she resumed normal eating. Visits resumed for February and I scheduled a visit. It was canceled the same day because my mother fainted and was sent to ER. Hospital told me she was discharged for UTI.

I got a call from hospice. The facility had a video visit with my mother's doctor who requested this. I was never notified of her deteriorating condition. She no longer walks, talks or feeds herself. No one in the facility can explain when this happened. I rescheduled a visit and was able to see my mother. She was lying down with her eyes closed and not talking. Two people from the facility hovered over us the entire time of the visit. When we left they started laughing. I contacted Ombudsman office and they investigated. I was told they requested records but the facility is not cooperating. Also was told the senior staff that was there when my mother was first admitted left around November. I did mention to her facility I may have to look into moving my mother out.

Meanwhile the hospice nurse attending my mother said she started talking only to him. She told him she is very hungry. Also he found her on the floor when she fell out of bed. He said the staff does not seem to know what's going on with my mother. I looked into other facilities and found one in another state under the same company. I plan to move to this state for employment reasons. This facility contacted her current one to request the transfer of documents. We were planning to move her in April but I received a threatening phone call from the director who I never spoke to before. I could not have a rational conversation because she screamed threats and 30 day notice hysterically.

Since an apartment opened I scheduled non-emergency transportation for long distance move. I emailed her facility to please get her ready for transport on this day and time. I never heard back so I called. This same director said Yeah I got your emails. She screamed and verbally threatened me again about 30 day notice and making sure we pay for the rest of our lives! She told me she can prevent this move then said she wants my mother out of her building for good!

I contacted the hospice social worker who will send his nurse to check on my mother. He said they documented neglect and understands why I want her to move out of there. I am worried they will retaliate again my mom. I contacted the Ombudsman just to give them a heads up.

I don't feel confident the facility will do the right thing. I am worried they will prevent her from leaving.