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Just my quick two cents - hDiscuss your opinions with your husband and then let him filter that to tell HIS dad what you both think.... I hate to be in a room where there are too many opinions, you can't listen to everyone at once, and you want to be respectful, but it gets overwhelming, and particularly when aging and when dignity is involved, too many opinions can be very stressful. You are to be commended for your intentions, but your follow thru needs to be filtered through the father's child, not you as an in-law. At least from what I know of the situation, which is respectfully, very little, I know.
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I just stepped out of it. I let her take over. She'll be going be home soon. Her husband had a CAT scan done, he has 82 percent oxygen, fil is in rehab now, surely she'll go home to her family!! Husband did ask for the check book so I can do fil taxes. She wanted to know why he wanted it and was reluctant to give it to him(she had it, husband is the only child able to write checks on that account). And, when she leaves husband is going to check who is ER contact number, and make sure it is him. Otherwise, I'm out of it. I'll visit, but that is it. She wants to be caregiver and in charge, I gladly hand it over to her. I'm to weary to fight. I've said sorry and everyone is happy now.
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Good for you Sweet!
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I just feel bad for my fil. He is used to someone being around 24/7. When she goes home, he will miss that I know. She thinks she was helping, but, she doesn't see how it will hurt him, when she is gone. But, hopefully, rehab will help him learn to be more independent, and maybe even make new friends! She has been at the hospital from 8:00 in the morning till 9:00 at night, everyday, for 5 weeks. Which I would think is admirable, but, for him, it makes him dependent on someone being around all the time, doing things for him, like his wife used to. Like somebody said on here, I think it reminds him of the good times he is missing with her. I look on the bright side, I'm really hoping he makes friends. And, when he does get out of there, I'm taking him to the Senior Center, if he wants to go, and he can see what that place is about too! Thank all of you for your input it really did help. Glad I found this place!!
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Sweetness: good for you. Are you sure sil did not go to the bank and get her name put on the checking account - all it would take is a signed piece of paper from FIL. Since she had the checkbook and hesitated to give it up...I hope for your husband's sake she did not do what I think she might have. But if she changed the ER #, nothing would stop her from taking care of the checkbook too and all his assets. I've been down that road, was totally blindsided by sibling actions. Can't be too careful and sometimes suspicious thoughts become reality. Bless you and good advice to yourself to stay out of it as much as you can. Hugs.
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At his bank, fil and husband had to go in and sign signature card. Unless they have had it done prior and just didn't tell us... Either way, it's not my problem, it's my husbands now.
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