Well folks. We have finally reached our in home care limit. A few of you kind souls have suggested in prior posts, but we just were not there yet (collectively). However, MIL’s behavior has escalated to the point where we do not feel it is best for her to be around in the home as it is so disruptive, we are both having nervous breakdowns. Hubby and I have both been so on edge with anticipating MIL’s moods, and she got incredibly aggressive towards me today, lunging at me and screaming profanities unprovoked. This has happened before multiple times, but something about this outburst was different and we could both feel it. MIL has made me the “chosen one” and I seem to be the target of her anger and aggression. We have decided to place her for her well-being and our mental health. I have been waking up shaking, with palpitations, and on edge knowing what’s in store for me / us and hubby has too. We have given it our best effort. Are we terrible people for doing this?
She needs a higher level of care than you and your husband can provide in your home. So she has to be placed in facility care.
How does this make either of you bad people?
It doesn't.
Many others would have moved her to managed care a long time ago. This last episode "felt" different because it was "different".
It is time for your family and her, to move to the next chapter in her life. Go forward to the next chapter with open arms and a fresh outlook and no regrets. You did your best in the previous chapter. Now it is time to do your best in this chapter.
For myself been doing this for 15 years,. Retired by need could not retain a remote job. Too much interference from mom.
mom needed or wanted one on one companionship. Her friends and relatives have long passed. I and my sister were the two remaining relatives.
Found as time passed mom got belligerent on days. figured out some actions were due to UTIs trouble with UTI is she is not able to take most antibiotics with seniors UTIs are chronic, have the doctor check perhaps medication may help.
other "actions" were shear nastiness. those you deal with one day at a time. when you reach your limit nursing homes are a viable alternative. you did your best for a long time.