Let me preface this by saying my FIL has some psychological issues and any hint of trouble, whether it's bills or something else stressful, sends him to the point of making himself sick. Vomiting, diarrea, you name it. He's been this way for years but he normally bounced back within a few days. Well, ever since he fell and hit his head on a window last November (went to the hospital and PT facility for it for nearly a month) and whenever he gets sick now, he becomes so frail and can't even take care of himself, can't wipe himself, etc. Right now, he's upstairs sick in his room (he convinced himself that the Tylenol he took made him sick) and it smells so bad, it's starting to permeate into the hallways and our kids' rooms. My husband is basically his primary caregiver, I help where I can, but it's quite a lot for us to deal with right now. He just lost his job and we are financially strapped so hiring a nurse right now isn't doable. And my FIL's hospital bills are insane, but he thinks going to the ER and getting hooked to an IV and cleaned up by nurses overnight is the only way he'll make it through but because he's been several times in the last year, his insurance won't cover it anymore, so it's just more bills he/we can't pay. We just don't know what to do and I don't want my husband to also suffer with this weight on his shoulders because he's already dealing with having no job and another thing I can't really get into, it's become too much. I just need advice or a place to vent and this was the one place I knew other people could relate.
Also, apparently, a nursing home or assisted facility is absolutely out of the question because my FIL's mom died in one and he, understandably, does not want to suffer that same fate.
We just need help or advice.
Sorry, I am still stuck here. And I suspect the family is too..?
Who said that?
The OP? The Husband? FIL?
If he is not yet 65 years of age, but is disabled so that he can no longer work, then you help him apply for disability Social Security, and if that is approved, he will also be automatically enrolled in Medicare.
Medicaid covers medical expenses for people with low income.
You say that a nursing home is out of the question. For Him.
There will come a point when it is no longer his decision. If family (you and your husband) can't take care of him, and he can't afford a home health aide, then a nursing home is where he needs to be.
The next time he is in the hospital, Don't pick him up and take him home! The hospital has social workers who will work to find a suitable solution. They will likely transition him to a skilled nursing facility with a medicaid application pending. Keep in mind, a skilled nursing facility can be used short term. He doesn't have to spend the rest of his life there if his condition improves. Many young adults spend months in a nursing home to rehab after a hospital stay, before going home again.