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A nursing home sounds like a good idea. Why are you staying home taking care of him at your age. If you have no job skills, this is the time to get some. Take some classes or get a degree.
Don’t let your miserable father destroy your life. My mother lived by herself until she died at 84 and she had several medical problems. Your father should be doing a lot more for himself.
Do whatever you want. Too many parents guilt their children.
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I say go.......... Have a good time, don't feel guilty.... Just make sure your date knows you want to keep it safe with mask and distancing until you get to know them better.
That is why they have respite care so that caregivers and caretakers can have a break.
Caretaking can be exhausting and draining..... the demands of the person you are caring for.... the rudeness and condescending remarks sometimes.
Sometimes they play on your kindness just to feel superior in the fact that you won't have time for anything or anyone else.
You can check into respite care or another caretaker to care for him when you need to take a break, that way you know he is ok, they have your phone number and can call you instantly if something comes up or an emergency.
You are young you deserve to find happiness!
Go have a little fun and don't feel guilty....
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He's manipulating and gaslighting you. Are you vaccinated? Is your dad? Is your date? If you all are, and you have an outdoors date (and depending about the state of the virus in your community) this should not be a health risk.

You are an adult, and if this is a "safe" date virus-wise, just explain that to him, and go.
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RedVanAnnie Sep 2021
I second that COVID-safety is the priority here.
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Hello Summer,
Go out on that special date and have fun. Meeting time with your dad to set things straight. Insist on having time to yourself. Your dad is fortunate that you are helping him but he needs to let you live your life. Covid could be around for a long time. You can't put yourself in a bubble. Take precautions as CDC advices.
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Do not put your life on hold for your parents. Do not fight about it, you must have boundaries no matter how difficult it is. Next time he uses ‘I may as well go into a nursing home’ reply ‘ok shall we look at one together’.

these elderly people are very unfair on us adult children, if I were you I would look for some paid care so you can at least meet your friends. If you don’t start putting your foot down with your dad you are not going to have any sort of life. Your dad is guilt tripping you into being there for him24/7, that is not how a loving parent should treat their adult children.
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Go out and enjoy yourself.

Tell your Father that you will be going out once a week and if that's a problem for him then you'll be happy to take him to tour some Senior Homes if that's what he wants.
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My sisters tried to do a similar thing to me. I had moved into my mom's house to help her remain independent for as long as possible while her dementia progressed. Sisters promised that they would be there to help. Help never materialized but that's another story. What happened is they actively made things harder for me. Mom would "start dinner" before I made it home from work some nights. Dinner meant taking everything out of the freezer, fridge and cabinets and combining it all in huge pots of the stove. I begged my sisters to please stop in on the way home from work (two of them drove past her house 2x a day on their regular routes) but they refused to do so. A very nice man, who later became my boyfriend, offered to stop in because he got off work an hour earlier than me. My mother loved the company and he was so good at distracting her until I got home. When I told my sisters that I had solved the problem, I expected them to be relieved and grateful. Instead, I got their anger and suspicion. Was he using the bathroom at mom's house? Water is expensive you know. Was he eating mom's food? Food costs money, you know. When I explained again that before his help mom was ruining a week's worth of groceries with her "cooking", and he was in fact, saving mom a lot of money by being there. And, yes, he did use the bathroom to wash his hands after arriving from work because he took the bus. The sisters insisted that mom wouldn't want me "entertaining" men in HER house. They wanted to enforce the rules we had as teenagers growing up. I was 50 at the time. The whole thing was bizarre. Now looking back I realize it was just them trying to control me and keep me isolated with mom with zero support. They didn't want a witness outside the family to their abuse and neglect. I'm glad I didn't give into their demands in spite of the smear campaign they started behind my back that I was using mom's house to date. Please! They refused to give me anytime off. If they didn't want me bringing my friends over because it offended their morality, then they should have agreed to babysit mom so I could go out like a normal person. You've got to live your own life as much as possible otherwise your role of caregiver will make your world smaller and smaller. You also need to learn to set better internal boundaries. Your dad's fear is his fear, not yours. There are lots of YouTube videos on setting boundaries. You have a kind heart and need to equally apply the kindness to yourself as well as your dad's care.
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Myownlife Sep 2021
Wow, you've been through it! So sorry and hope your life is happy and easier now.
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It’s time to live your life. Going to the nursing home is his own choice. (Maybe he already knows that he will eventually need nursing home placement). His care needs are only going to increase until you cannot safely care for him yourself. He might be eligible for home care depending on his insurance and diagnosis. Don’t let him guilt trip you. He got to live his life, it’s time to live yours. Neither you or your father should let COVID fears take control over your lives. Vaccination against COVID-19 is a personal choice and only you and your father can decide what is right for yourselves. I’m only suggesting it as a solution to your father’s virus fear. From my personal observation, the severity of illness was drastically reduced in vaccinated people who did contact the delta variant of COVID.
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Dearest SummerRaya:

I too am a full time care giver of a senior parent and disabled sister. I took on this task after I retired from my last job after 31 years and moved them into my home even though they were okay in their own home. In their home they cooked, sometimes and took care of themselves even though I went by two or three times a week to prepare meals, do the banking, go grocery shopping etc. After moving them into my home which I believed was a major convenience my life have become a 24 hour call to service. They are capable of doing things for themselves but they do nothing. They sit at the table three times a day for meals and return to their rooms. I limit my time around other people because of my mom's age and the covid issue but I have to go out, I go to the store, I go to the bank, I meet with contractors and I take them to all their doctor's appointments. I've been wearing a mask everywhere go for over a year and it's not uncomfortable for me.

With all this being said I refuse to become a prisoner in my own home. A social worker suggested boundaries but the more I try to remove myself the more complaints they have ultimately trying to make me feel guilty for having a life. Even If I have a friend stop by practicing social distancing my sister who has controlled seizure disorder will fall on the floor or fall out of a chair. My mom will say she's feeling "icky" and I need to stop what I'm doing to make her tea. My mom is 98 and still very capable of getting around. My sisters seizures only happen when she has an audience. Hmmmmmmmmmm... If I feel like going out I am going to go out...I might meet my girlfriend at a outdoor venue for lunch or a glass of wine. I look in on them when I am out and I call to check on them. Ironically they won't answer the phone so I used to race back home to see if something was wrong. ........ I retired in 2017 I moved them into my home in late 2020 and I now work 7 days a week from 7 in the morning until 9 at night. Boundaries. I need to set them....I need to take time for me, and I am not going to feel guilty about it......

It is not healthy to not be able to vent, to breath, to laugh and to have a happy social life at your age if it's safe and you are practicing healthy protocols even in your dating. Enjoy your life...take a day or a few hours for you every once in a while and do it the safe and healthy way so that you do not become the victim or your own self inflicting or created anxiety. Don't feel guilty for wanting to be a person. Peace love and prayers for you and your dad..
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Myownlife Sep 2021
Yep, I get it! Your mom is 98; mine is 96 and will probably go another 10 years. Yes, it's time for me to start getting out, too! And the audience thing.... oh yeah! I totally get that! How about this? Mom will not wearing hearing aids. Luckily I figured that out within the first 30 days of purchase and was able to return and be refunded that small fortune! But now what happens is, she can't hear anything, so either I mute the TV and SHOUT across the 10-15" feet between our living room recliners, or she doesn't hear. Daughter and boyfriend come in and sit on the couch beside and slightly behind in the evening and are chattering and laughing and next thing you know, Mom has a "hmph" expression on her face with pursed lips and I know exactly what's happened. She couldn't hear what was said, (and can't see well either ). subsequently misconstrued, and just like that takes it the wrong way and gets p*ssed off and usually huffs to bed with her walker earlier than usual ! [ Narcissistic personality what it is, she ALWAYS thinks it's about her. ]. And soon as she's out of the room, daughter, her boyfriend and I have a good laugh !!! Because that's only about the millionth time it's happened and beyond tired of trying to explain in detail AGAIN to her. Just a day at a time, and sometimes, a few moments at a time!!
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All the advice here is good, including the reminders that Covid hasn't gone away (of course you should make sure your date is vaccinated and tested before taking things further, but it's only a first date do presumably you won't be getting too close just yet). You deserve a life of your own.
Like you, I was working from home but found it impossible to keep up with work because of my mother's constant interruptions. She is healthy and has friends, but is just very needy and a drama queen. She is quite cross at the minute because I have just got myself a full-time job outside the house. I told her I needed to make myself financially secure. Happy to help her but I need a life too.
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Myownlife Sep 2021
So glad I read your response! Gives me hope about getting a job soon and getting myself out of the house and yes! financially secure while I still can!
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So many helpful responses in this thread! I hope you will read them and think about them.
Here are my thoughts: You might want to consider assembling a team to help you make the best choices in this situation for YOU. Not your dad; YOU. He's lived his life, and now wants to live through you. No.
Find a good therapist who understands the challenges of geriatric care-giving; pour your heart out to this person. You will get unbiased help.
I hope you will seriously consider a nursing home for your father. It's only a matter of time before he experiences a critical event in his health. Better it happens with trained help nearby.
Good luck.
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If your father is safe at home by himself,,you should be able to come and go as needed. In normal circumstances, there might not be much problem in your going on a date.

The danger of the virus might be a bigger problem. You need to keep your exposure to any people outside the house at an absolute minimum, esp right now while Delta COVID and the newer Mu variant are increasingly contagious and increasingly vaccine resistant.

If the young man you are eager to meet is someone of character, he will be willing to delay an in-person date until conditions are safer. If he issues some sort of "meet me now or never" ultimatum, then you do not want to pursue that relationship anyway.
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You’re his only caregiver, if you get abducted by Aliens while out, he’ll be destitute, at least that’s what his catastrophic thinking tells him.

Its not really parental thinking, more of a little kid and their parent is leaving.

Maybe someone can come by while you’re out, you probably should go out more often if he’s anxious

It won’t be fun to start over when your life leaves without you, he’s gone and you’ve kept nothing of your own in motion.
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No one can MAKE you feel guilty if you don’t really believe you are doing anything wrong. It’s a choice. If you believe that you are entitled to have a life of your own, then own that! My mom used to try to make me feel guilty about stuff all the time. She’d say something like your dad said about the nursing home and I would smile and say, “If you insist”. She stopped trying.
That being said, my mom didn’t have dementia at that point, she was just manipulative. Still, you can decide not to feel guilty and then don’t. Good luck!
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He is blackmailing you emotionally. Yes, it is EXTREMELY difficult not to succumb to feeling guilty about doing something perfectly normal. He may also have severe anxiety, which can be helped (though usually not fully alleviated) with some meds. So that off to the doctor he need to go. You are very young yet and he may live for another 20 years, so please, please do not give up your life. Take precautions against the virus, get vaccinated, wear a mask if you have to, meet the person for a date outdoors...but get on with life!!!!
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You have to keep in mind despite any health issues, our parents lived in a different era. You don't need to tell him everything. I tell mom Im going to run some errands. I have a cam on her to watch her and we talk to one another every 20 minutes or so. Mom says many things regarding my life and Im 62. Go on your dates, get a cam to watch him in the house, make sure the tv is set on something that interests him. Enjoy yourself while caregiving and working full time.
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You need to have a full life - dates, time out with friends, shopping... You should not be expected to hide forever in your home just to keep yourself and your father safe from COVID or any other "threats" out in the world.

I would suggest that it might be time to include more people in caring for your father. Ask family members, friends, members of faith community, and even paid help. The first goal should be to have enough help that your essential needs are met: eating 3 meals at a reasonable pace, sleeping 7-9 hours every night, enough time to attend to your health and hygiene needs... The next goal is to have enough help to meet your needs for interactions with others and fun - you need some time daily and extended time weekly (probably several times a week).

As for you father, it seems he has developed anxiety. Please talk to his usual doctor or make an appointment with a geriatric psychiatrist to evaluate and treat. Your father feels like you are his only hope of surviving; he needs more interaction with others so he doesn't stay so fixated on you.
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You do not have any information in your profile so I am going to make suggestions that might or might not be possible.
The first thing you should do is read a very good post and responses. The post was started by a longtime member/poster/responder Midkid58.
She posted the awesome question "What word can we use instead of "guilty"
The responses are nothing short of amazing, enlightening encouraging. Please take the time to read it.

Now for your dad.
If he is able to do all that you have said I think he would do well in Assisted Living if that is a possibility.,

If this is dad's house you could consider looking for a place of your own. Give dad a few days a week where you will come and do things for him that he CAN NOT do. Do not do things that he can do.
You are far to young to be caring for your dad full time and ignoring your own social, emotional needs.

YOU have done nothing to feel guilty about.
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Myownlife Sep 2021
Great advice. And also, if op is reading this one as well, know that along with this kind of behavior of your dad, that WHEN you move out and live away from him, be prepared that he may try additional attention-seeking behaviors, and have a plan worked out on how to handle that.

I remember when I did travel nursing and after my dad died, I'd stay at mom's in between assignments, sometimes over holidays, and one time in particular when I was about to go on a new assignment in January, Mom started acting out very, what's the word, carefully planned out ..... she didn't feel well, she couldn't breathe right ... and so on. I canceled that assignment, got her to dr. appts. etc. Would you believe, nothing was wrong! It was anxiety, and she knew how to turn it on and push buttons. Finally I got wise and went on another job, even though she turned on the tears. (I'm not heartless, just know that as I look back she was always manipulative growing up.... only now, I can see it, understand it, and see how I did my own things (guilting ) with my children growing up.
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Well, now you know not to tell him in advance of any plans you have. You simply cannot give into and accommodate his paranoia. I promise you, it will only get worse. What happens when he decides he is in total fear of you going outside to d a little gardening and get some fresh air?! He could come up with a dozen reason that could be dangerous, ranging from "Someone might kidnap you" to "Snakes are crawling this time of year! You might get bitten." Also, "Someone down the street could cough and their covid germs could float in the breeze and you could inhale them!" See where I'm going? Once an elderly person is anxious and paranoid, you cannot feed into it. And you cannot give him time to plan some drama (i.e. stage a fall or illness) to prevent you from going out.
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Enjoy your date. Set boundaries. If you don’t stake your life out, no one else will. Seriously consider what you want your life to look like. You deserve a good one.
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You may want to consider a home where he has socialization and you are not his source of entertainment. 29 is young . You deserve a life of happiness . He had his life you might want to make a boundary and take back your life .
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Think seriously about what you want. I gave in to my manipulative mother doing all she wanted me to do and not do (she didn't want me to have friends or ANY romantic life) and now I'm old and alone. You can't make friends at my age if you're single and childless. Also, fertility goes down as women age so if you want children, you need to think about it soon. I kept thinking I could make it happen later when conditions were ideal but that day never came and I aged out of having a family. Think about what you want and how time goes by faster than you can imagine.
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XenaJada Sep 2021
I had some distant relatives (now deceased) who encouraged and demanded their daughter leave her husband and move in with them to be their caregivers after the father had heart surgery and the mother had an illness as well. This couple had plenty of money and could have gone to assisted living. Parents and daughter are all deceased now. The daughter was only in her 50's when she died, overweight and completely stressed out from working full time and being a caregiver to her mom.
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Don’t tell him you’re going on a date.
Tell him you’re going to the movies because you need a break.
You’re an adult and have the right to time alone.
You don’t need his approval or permission.
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I agree going on the date is perfectly fine! He doesn’t get to call the shots on how you spend your time.
But I am concerned that you at the age of 29 are not working and earning money to support yourself in your retirement. How is it that you gave up working and having a career? Are you looking to inherit from him or something? He should be in assisted living and you should be getting on with your life in my opinion even though you didn’t ask for that. But would love to know how you anchored yourself to this existence.
there is nothing in your profile about your dad.
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caroljnorris Sep 2021
She said that she works from home.
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I agree going on the date is perfectly fine! He doesn’t get to call the shots on how you spend your time.
But I am concerned that you at the age of 29 are not working and earning money to support yourself in your retirement. How is it that you gave up working and having a career? Are you looking to inherit from him or something? He should be in assisted living and you should be getting on with your life in my opinion even though you didn’t ask for that. But would love to know how you anchored yourself to this existence.
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I agree with the previous posters that you need to go on your date and also see your friends. 100%!!!
Your dad’s concerns about the Covid are valid. If both you and your dad are vaccinated, your date and/or friends are vaccinated, and you wear a mask per guidelines, you have taken the necessary steps to ensure his (and yours) safety. Have fun!
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I am 29 years old and bound by duty by two parents who require around the clock care at their ages, 86 and 82 respectively. I understand exactly what you are going through.

Do not cancel the date: go. Do not feel guilty for going nor should you spend another moment engaging in arguments over it.

I can see how much you care and how much this is stressing you out; therefore I can't imagine that you haven't already and are planning on taking the necessary precautions to head on out. Perhaps have a meal and snacks at the ready, something to entertain him, ensure the cat is put away and can't be used as an excuse to call you back. Before you leave I would lay down firm boundaries, in writing even, and then head out the door and stick to them.

For example - I have told my parents that unless it is an emergency, I will call within a specific timeframe. If you start blowing up my phone - I will send you straight to voicemail. Granted, I can read the text to see if it's truly an emergency or my father is just blowing smoke. The more you call me, the more I will be delayed.

You deserve to go out and have a break after working for this long.
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Please go. My friend chose to care for her mother and put her life off. Her mom lived til my friend was in her 50's. She never married, never had her own family. You must go. He could also live to 100 and then you'd be in your 50's wondering where your life went.
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You have nothing to feel guilty about and so young to have this responsibility put on you, go out and enjoy yourself switch off for a couple of hours you are owed that do not let him ruin any chance of happiness that you can get believe me life goes too quickly and you will regret if you don’t have a life for yourself and a little tip don’t spend your evening telling your date about your situation enjoy yourself your dad will still be there when you get back hope you have a lovely time
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Just go! Please!!
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