My 93 year old mother has been in assisted living for almost a year. She does nothing all day, except complain about being constipated. I have had her to her Dr. several times, and he always checks her out and says that there is no medical problems causing it, she is just very sedentary and needs more fiber. She will not listen to what anyone tells her and gets angry if I won't take her to the Dr./emergency room because she has not had a bowel movement in a couple of days.
How do I deal with this? I find myself hating to call or visit, because I know that all we will talk about is her constipation and that she thinks she will die from it.
Good luck!
My MIL is on Miralax (it can be written as an RX by the doctor--she has the generic--polyethelene glycol). All I would do, when she was here before the NH, was mix it in with some water, applesauce (it is sweet tasting, so I got the no sugar added applesauce). She would take it. Within 15 min.-1/2 hr. she would have a BM. We had her on coconut milk (but since that does the same thing as Miralax, she didn't get the Miralax). The coconut milk will cause some weight gain. After a while, we noticed her acting not like herself--aside from the anti-epileptic meds that caused combativeness--but after a while we discontinued the coconut milk due to it interacting with some of the meds she was on at the time. You can get coconut milk in a
'Crisco-like' form at Wal-Mart. You can even cook with it. I would make her grilled cheese sandwiches and wouldn't have to use 'non-cooking spray' with it. Very rarely, would we have to give her MOM (Milk of Magnesia). Yeah, some of her meds did have the side effect of constipation. You have to watch her diet too. She shouldn't have any lite yogurt or diet drinks (not good for people her age). Actually, it's not good for anyone. Anyhow, as I was saying, watch her diet--if someone takes her out, find out what she had for a meal and to drink. Reason being, that can either cause constipation or Mt. Vesouvious.
One night, I served Spaghetti and Meat sauce, she had never pooped outside of the bathroom--my husband left her alone for 10 minutes and when he went back downstairs to see how she was coming along with her meal, he found her rolling a 'meatball' in her hand. You talk about panic-stricken and gross. From then on, someone always ate downstairs with her.
Her Dr said use fiber, give more water, give more fruits. No good, nothing seems to work. Finally, the doctor said to give her Phillips Caplets Laxatives Dietary Supplement 2x day (500 mg Manesium). I had asked "isn't that too much?" "no", was his replay. Senior's intestine and colin muscles atrophy with age. They can't push the stuff out, no matter how much water they drink or fiber they take. When you use a laxative daily, she shouldn't have constipation problems. It's been a great using the laxative caplets daily-No more poop problem.
My mom began to have anxieties for she was finally becoming having normal BM. "Somethings wrong, I go to the bathroom and have a BM", she would stress. I told her that it's normal to go everyday and don't worry about it. (I've been care giving for almost 4yrs and constantly doing the BM problem.) Now it's no longer an issue.
Good luck to you.
Is it just me, or are aging parents really just 2 year olds with a better vocabulary?
Her problem was she had never eaten a balanced diet-- and at 105 pounds feared gaining weight. She is 84! The solution was a high fiber diet and Metamucil in capsule form. She would not take the liquid variety.
It is a pleasant experience to have breakfast with her now! No more constant talk about the size, frequency, shape, color... of bowel movements. Naturally, she will now focus on some other ailment-- but at least it's something new!
Lilli
my mom won't move enough so I give her a stool softener once in a blue moon and it works well.
We also do fresh carrot juice, yogurt and lots of greens.
Our goal is for mom to drop a deuce at least once a day.
We know that it's working when mom stands up and sounds like a stuttering motorboat on her way to the head.
good luck
Bobbie
What I practically live on these days, grab when I am rushing around the kitchen, are ginger snaps, particularly the Trader Joe's triple ginger snaps, available in hard or thin soft kinds. Eat enough of those and you have near perfection, in THAT department anyway! ;-) Anyway, look for treats, not cures. Whatever would she do if it worked.
Remember my mom's life when I first arrived to care for her. She would not go OUT anywhere because she HAD to hug the toilet, HER toilet. She was a medical assistant, think she would have learned a few things, but nope...
I do appreciate the suggestions, and will keep trying. It is helpful just having someone to listen and understand...my poor husband has had his fill of me venting about my mother and her BM's!
After YEARS of trying to convince her she finally gave my suggestions a try. I bought her flax seed flour (she cannot swallow the seed) to put in her yogurt, muffins, soups, oatmeal, etc. Also, a teaspoon of olive oil first thing in the morning works as needed. I buy her high fiber breads, crackers, granola, etc. Coconut milk is a laxative too. She has not had problems since. I told her that I would, "send her my bill." :o)
The thing is, it that it is a lifestyle change so I do not know what to tell you to get your mother to cooperate. Sometimes, when Mom is feeling well, she decides that she does not need to do it anymore...then the constipation returns...so now, I think I have her convinced.
Constant constipation is just so bad for you. You build up toxins in your body so no wonder your mother is feeling cranky and uncomfortable.
good luck