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My Mom gets up at nite and also checks on us to be sure we are"there".
I appreciate the answer with the meletonin causing dementia to get worse. Since starting Mom on the meletonin, she has slept better, but her Alz. has gotten worse. didn't know the drug would make it worse. It was prescribed by her doc, because I was giving her benedry to help her sleep....WOW maybe I do need a gerentologist.This has got to stop...
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Hi mrst53, after trying melatonin and tylenol pm, I'm done with meds for sleeping and/or peeing. It's just not worth it. We had the worst 4 and a half days of hallucinations and non stop talking after the tylenol pm. I would never have believed that it could have that kind of impact. I've explored some since then and this has happened to others as well. The kidney dr. told me that ANY medications can negatively effect our loved ones at this age, especially if there is dementia involved. Soothing music, background noise, nighttime undies, reading, talking, have all helped us to sleep. Now, we're working on 'eating'. After the episode with the tylenol pm, Mom has no appetite. Hugs to you and I'm still waiting to hear back from Mom's dr about a referral to a geriatric specialist. KJ
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Have you tried a commode next to the bed so no one else is bothered by continuing to get up or having a TV in the room turned down low.
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Hi 195, I do have a bedside commode, however, with Mom's dementia, she would always be looking for the handle to flush and to wash her hands after she goes. Right now, the night time underwear seem to be doing the trick. (she hasn't wet in them at all since we started using the.....somehow she just seems to know that they are there and she doesn't worry. Thanks for the idea though. The bedside commode does seem to be working for some. I appreicate your thoughts. Hugs, KJ
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The benedry worked as far as sleeping, she just was afraid to sleep alone and wanted to sleep with us. With the meletonin, she goes to sleep fine, but gets up in the middle of the nite, thinking it's morning and her other symptoms are worse.
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My heart goes out to you and I know what you're going through. I'm the primary caregiver for my Mother, who lives with me. I love her so much, she's really all I have. She has to go to the bathroom often but when she's there, she can't do anything. She gets the urge to urinate but once she sits there for a bit, she says the urge is gone. We go through this everyday all through the day and evening. Does anyone else have a loved one that this happens to? Any suggestions on what I can do? Thanks and God bless.
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Hi Cohill, I have had that problem intermittantly with my mom. The urologist says it is because her bladder is wearing out??? I took her to an acupuncture Doc I use from China and he put long needles right into her bladder to stimulate. after a few sessions it was improved and now only happens when her electrolytes are out of whack or she is starting to get sick somehow...very difficult to deal..hugs to you...I know the feeling of following to the bathroom 100 times a day for nothing. The bigger issue is not knowing if her bladder is getting fuller and fuller to the danger level..k speak of the devil...here we go again ;-).
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Hi Cohill and Karen,
Based on the visit that Mom and I just had with the kidney specialist, having the urge and not being able to go, 'could' be a kidney issue and or a symtom of a UTI? There may be other symtoms as well, like constant fatigue, uncommom itching and other stuff too that I can't remember. You may want to explore more through blood and urine tests to rule out these medical reasons, if you haven't already. The main thing I've been learning through this process is that if you don't keep asking and asking, things could get overlooked or go on longer than they need to. You are your Mom's best advocate. I also feel your pain and understand what you are going through. You are not alone and I'm sending Hugs your way right now! KJ
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KJSPRA....how did the visit with the geratic doc go? Was it a success?
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My husband has Parkinsons and I am going through the same thing with him not sleeping at night. It's getting me down I don't know how much more I can take not getting any sleep. I talked to his doctor and he gave him a mild sleeping pill. It works for 2 or 3 days then everything starts all over. We tried the melatonin and that did not work at all. At this point I cry a lot and I do not know what to do.
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kjspradlin, how are things going? jkrummel I am sorry what you are going thru, I was there also for a year of wandering with my Mom and working fulltime. Just when I thought I would crack it stopped. Did you try depakote from the dr? Can you keep him awake all day, sometimes that helps but they really need something to calm the brain down like depakote. best of luck everyone. I am sitting in my moms room after singing 30 minutes without it working and now trying to get her to sleep with Bing Crosby Christmas music on. Apparently when I went out today the sitter let her sleep. Cheers everyone.
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try some magnesium citrate. It relaxes and can induce sleep. BTW, most of us are deficient in this mineral. Look it up. It is very necessary to our well-being. Since my mom's GFR values have improved (57), we now give my mom 400 mgs per day of Magnesium.
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Hi 'new', our appt. w/the geriatric specialist is this coming Friday...the 18th. I will update you all after we go.

Hi jk....please hang in there. Is there any way that you can get someone to come in and stay with your husband for a night or two during the week? This has helped me tremendously...to get at least a couple of good nights sleep during the week. Any other family members that could help. It was really hard for me to admit that I couldn't do it any more by myself because I really felt that I should be able to, and, that I was able to take care of my Mom's needs better than anyone else. Well, I was wrong, because with no sleep, I was not doing a very good job at all. Once I was able to 'accept' the help, it has changed my whole outlook. If things aren't done the way I usually do them, it's 'ok', and Mom is just fine. I don't know what your situation is, but I do know that you need to reach out and get some help. It is not humanly possible to do what you are doing without getting any sleep. Please, please, do that for yourself and for your husband. You are in my prayers and please let me know how you are doing. Hugs to you!!
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luvmom, you are soooooo cool......singing to your Mom! Thanks for asking about us! She is doing better, but still up at night more than she should be. My brother comes and spends the night two nights a week now and it's great. I haven't asked about the depakote, because we've other more pressing issues, but I will do that when we see the geriatric specialist this Friday. I just went out and bought a great christian Christmas Hymn cd and a also one of just favorite hymns. They are so beautiful, and very uplifting. I'm glad that you are enjoying the music. KJ
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Hi kona, I've decided to stop experimenting with any type of pills at this point. I gave Mom tylenol pm with the ok from both the pharmacist and dr. and that did not turn out well. Everyone reacts so differently to any type of medication and/or vitamins/minerals and I just can't take the chance that it will have a negative effect. Right now we're trying to manage with diet, exercise and things like music, hot/good smelling rice packs, etc. I know that some of the pills have worked for others and that's great. If it were only that easy!! :) I love you guys!! Thanks for all of the support and ideas and keep them coming. I know this helps more people than just me. I never realized what a response I would get from this one question. I'm in awe and am very grateful!! Hugs!!
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my mom got up 5-6 times for 1 year, and i got up with her because she was not balanced, the doc put her on a bladder control and that did the trick
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Thanks beta! One question....did your Mom also have to go to the br alot during the day, or just at night? The reason I'm asking is because my Mom only has to go so much at night. During the day she only goes like twice......all day! Doesn't make sense to me, but what do I know?????
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Maybe try a pottie chair right beside her bed.
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Thanks juliagallagher!! It's been a long journey and we've tried just about evey drug there is and alot of other suggestions that have been on this site. Unfortunately, we are still struggling with this issue. Just about every night we are up 5 to 10 times. No much longer than an hour or two between trips to bathroom. Thanks for the idea about the portable pottie, but she has dementia and wouldn't remember it was there and would ask alot of questions about washing her hands, etc...... Still looking for an answer......not sure there is a good one for us. That's what I'm thinking right now anyway. I always so appreciate the good ideas and feedback that everyone so lovingly provides on this site. I am so grateful to all of you!!
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When you say you've tried just about every drug there is, who was prescribing or recommending them?

My husband (Lewy Body Dementia for 9 years, age 86) has taken seroquel just before bed for more than 8 years. Due to a snafu in getting his prescription transferred to a new pharmacy we were without those pills for 3 nights last week. And we were right back to getting up several times a night, confused. Yikes! I do not want to ever go back to those days.

Obviously I can't say that seroquel is the right drug for your mother, but I feel strongly that you need to see some doctor who is willing to try various options until finding something that works. It was psychiatrist specializing in sleep problems that prescribed it for my husband, and the behavioral neurologist who manages his dementia (Mayo Clinic) concurred that it was worth trying.

I am so sorry that you are continuing to have this dibillitating problem!
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Jeann I think you may have helped other telling your experiences or maybe use thick diapers during the night.
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Hi jeannegibbs, and thanks so much for your message and your concern. Yes, Seroquel was one of the drugs, and it was prescribed by a geriatric psychiatrist. The next one was Resperidone.....I could go on and on. Mom is currently taking Depakote, however, again, with very inconsistent results. And, yes, we are very tired, but still trying to stay positive!!
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Wow I could have written what you wrote! My grandma is 95, has shades of dementia and the short term memory loss (always asking what time is it, etc.) She is up at night constantly and needs attention. (It was worse before when she could walk around and needed assistance using the toilet. Now she is in bed all the time so it is easier.) She's belligerent and a narcissist so it's also hard. We are in the process of hiring a night home health attendant so we can sleep. We're thinking 8-8. It's ok to ask for help in these situations because your mental and physical health are at stake. Lack of sleep will affect the rest of your waking life, and diminish the quality of care you give your mother. You will be a better caretaker if you can sleep properly.
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Yes, I'm pretty sure that finding someone to come and stay at night is going to have to be part our plan as well. I agree, everyone needs sleep!
Hugs to you and thanks for sharing.
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KJ: I just came across your original question and this thread. I don't have any suggestions, but just wanted to give you my heartfelt good wishes. Isn't it odd that she hardly goes during the day, but goes so often at night.

My dad takes Lasix in the am and often he doesn't urinate as much as one would expect. At night, he takes Flomax which enables him to urinate for often, so we do get up at night and change him. He can no longer get out of bed on his own, so I don't have the worry of him falling. We just have to get up and check on him.

So in my dad's case it is specifically a male issue and the Flomax allows him to urinate more easily. He can't take the Flomax in the am, as it will drop his blood pressure and the BP med he takes has to be given in the am.

I don't know if your mom has water retention. Would some lasix in the morning help her urinate more often during the day and less at night?

You are a lovely daughter. Best wishes and I hope you get some sleep. You've been dealing with this for such a long time. Hugs, Cattails.
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Thanks so much cattails! I appreicate the thoughts about water retention (no that's not a problem for us) and for the well wishes! There are no other physical conditions that have been identified......all blood, urine, CT scans, etc. have shown no problems at all. She can also see and hear better than I can!! :) This is why we ended up going to a geriatric psychiatrist for some help. Unfortunately, that didn't work out either. Again, I truly appreicate the support that I have received from everyone on this site. Hugs back to you!!
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Maybe a bed rail, because of the short term memory issue, my mom will try to get out of bed and when she is not successful she gives up and goes back to sleep. I have a baby monitor by her bed. So if she really needs to go to the bathroom I will here her say it. I also leave the bed rail down during the day so she can get in and out of bed at her will.
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Thanks so much peglou, this is a great idea. I like the bedrail and baby monitor idea. I so appreicate all of the ideas/suggestions! Hugs to you!!
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Check her prescription drugs. They might be causing her to want to get up. Remember all prescription drugs have side effects and sometimes those side effects are dangerous to the body. Most doctors don't even tell you what the side effects are until they happen and first the deny that the drug is doing it then the switch drugs which many times only leads to more side effects. My point is that most drugs are not all that helpful to us as we age. Look for alternatives to those drugs. The body responds better to natural substances and remember the body is never nutritionally deprived of a prescribed drug. Drugs usually force the body to do something unnatural. With all that said, I want to share w/ you a kidney support supplement that has been very helpful for my 91 yo mother. It is called RenaVen. It used to be called Kidney complex. Several vendors sell it over the internet for $29.00. We have been giving my mom this for a year now and she doesn't pee at night as often as she once did. We get her up at midnight to pee on a regular basis and try to get up at 6 am to have her pee again. That way no accidents in the bed. My mom needs us to help her get on the potty nowdays.
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Wuvicecream, I remember watching the same show. I don't remember the whole list either but one think I remember was taking a tums or other antacid like it. We wake up because of invisible reflux. As we age this becomes more of a problem. So many great ideas here. I hope something helps you.
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