My parents have very little money. When one goes into a nursing home, which may or may not happen, if the other community spouse cannot make it (rent, food, utilities) on just social security, do they go on welfare? Story too long but my brother and sister will not help take care of my parents in any way. I asked them several times for help when I could not take it anymore and they said no. One is lazy and the other only wants their money, but there is no money left. I cannot take the parent that is left into my home because my house is not set up for that and it will ruin my marriage and my family and I KNOW my two siblings will turn their back. So I'm trying to plan for the inevitable.
To everyone who is not working and is caring for your parents in their home.... what are you doing to secure your future and not create the same scenario for yourselves? I know it seems like good money after bad but opting out of the system and putting a single relative before your own needs is always risky. Example last year i spent $3000 a month on day care for my kids and my mom and I only took home $4000, so we were living very simply. BUT I was accruing years in my pension and social security quarters, my kids had full medical; we got everyone fillings in their teeth and glasses and I had disability insurance. These are all important things my employeer provided. This year I do not have that. I lost my job and the math works out (for my brothers) for me to stay in mom's home and care for her, but I have lost disability insurance. If I throw out my back lifting mom and we have to hire a caregiver for all of us, there is NO ONE who will cover it. We are all just one illness from poverty. Please everyone think seriously about the hidden risks you are taking. Mom's pension will only be here for us when she is alive. Mom's home will be sold out from under us and where will we be?