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I’d repeat my earlier post – Brother POA thinks M should go to care. The siblings want her to stay at home. The demands for the siblings to contribute money/ and or care time are to put pressure on them. ‘Step up or shut up’ - possibly justified.

Brother probably knows quite well that he can’t force the ‘demands’. Legal advice is a waste of time and money. More sensible to have a (moderated?) discussion about care realities. Does another of you want to take on the POA responsibilities to help her stay at home?
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Beatty Sep 2023
Re-focus on care solutions. Yes.
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Or Bro wants you all as work horses to save the inheritance.
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Your brother can’t demand anything from other family members just because he has POA. If any family member would like to help, I would suggest that they pay a service provider directly and not through him. If your Mom can’t afford care, she could apply for Medicaid through your Social Services. If approved, they could appoint/set up a caregiver. However, there might be a waiting time for one. She can’t have more than 2,000 dollars in the bank-in my state and her monthly income needs to be at poverty level or below. However, she can own her home. If your Mom is in seriously bad health, you could call Hospice. Whatever you do, it should be discussed between all of you. You might need a Mediator or Attorney. Check in your state for the Filial law. Some states by law require you to take care of elderly parents-care, food, medical, housing, etc., if you can afford it after providing for your own family. Some do not. It’s not often enforced. However, once an attorney is consulted, it may not be what everyone wants hear. I would try to work something out if you can. All the best.
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Whoa! Notwithstanding any legal designation (such as 'POA'), no one with any common sense would try to force a person to care for their loved one (if they really DID love them). That 'care' (task, what have you), would likely be completely neglected, or worse, seen as an avenue for resentment and abuse of the 'loved' one.

A rant: I know this doesn't directly respond to the poster's query, but these are realities of family dynamics and caring for our elders. My two sisters and I were never emotionally close, and when our formerly ultra-independent mom got 'old' and needed physical assistance with daily living, our diverse careers, financial situations, and physical distance placed us even more emotionally apart as we each 'dealt' with mom in our own ways. Inevitable squabbles about specifics [finances, her mortgage-free house, AL], and her emotional comfort levels about her living conditions ensued.

Thankfully, at this moment, mom's safe in a nice AL facility, with her beloved cat (the one thing that keeps her going). It was dicey, but we all got through it. But darn it, it was a huge project that went on for five years to 'get' her there, physically and emotionally, and it's ongoing [one sis does finances but can't do the emotional; the other does the hands-on stuff; I had to leave the state after five years of living with mom, for financial reasons, and for the constant flack I endured from each sis, who disagreed with everything I did or didn't do, while they did nothing]. We're a fractured 'family', and probably won't have any meaningful communication after mom passes.

I apologize. I don't usually go this deep into my emotional stuff.

And now I'm starting to worry that her (formerly?) comfortable financial resources will wear out, and she won't be able to stay at the nice AL facility. She's 96, has dementia, yet is physically, going strong. Four or ? years more? It's physically possible. I've long ago accepted that I will inherit nothing. But gosh, given the changes in American cultural norms of intergenerational households, there needs to be SOMETHING in its place. I'm sorry to dump this on the younger generations.
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His position as POA does NOT give him the legal right to delegate anything to siblings unless they WANT to take on the specific task.
His statements that the bank is losing documents and is very slow makes me wonder if there's another issue going on that he's not telling you. Did he suddenly realize that there would be an obligation to pay back the loan? My advice about a personal loan to family members is NEVER loan more money than you can afford to GIVE away, because (especially in this case) you may never see that money again.

If there isn't money to pay for care now, why would there be money later to pay back loans? Is her house really worth a lot? What if the real estate market crashes by the time she's gone and you're ready to sell? What if it needs major repairs before you could sell? Many older folks don't keep up with home repairs.
Definitely talk to a lawyer before giving him anything.
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