Hey, good morning guys, Happy Thursday to you all. My moms pretty ill. She will probably leave me soon. I go to the hospital everyday to be with her until I have to rush home to get my daughter off the bus. I've realized going to see her everyday knowing she won't be with me long is taking an emotional and mental toll on me. Sometimes I think if I skip a day that day is the day she will take her last breath and I won't be there. I love her so much. She can't talk but I know she knows I'm there. My question is has anyone felt guilt for not visiting a loved one? Yesterday my daughter had her moving up ceremony go from 7th grade to 8th grade. This was the first moving up ceremony my mom wasn't by my side. I was alone. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to do more or say more to her. The last two years her dementia drained me as it progressed but I look back now and say I would gladly deal with the dementia rather than dealing with her being on a vent and feeding tube to stay alive. I miss our long talks before dementia came into our lives. I'm her only child and I feel as if it is my duty to go there everyday but I'm mentally breaking.
I absolutely felt guilty when I missed a day, but a time came that I needed a mental & emotional break and I took days here and there (once it was a full 5 days after a frustrating dementia day). Give yourself that latitude and as it’s been said, alert the nurses and they will let you know if you should come.
I will say go as much as you can, make more memories and cherish every second. I’d give anything to spend one more day with my dad, he passed in September 2017 alone at a wonderful hospice and I’m actually glad I wasn’t there to see him take his last breath. It was excruciating enough watching him decline.
You are doing a wonderful job, as people always say take care of you.