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Hey friends, let's stop the online bullying. It's great that everyone here is invested in learning to be the best caregivers and sharing their own perspectives. However, the posts that have helped me the most have been worded carefully and with compassion, even when I have needed correction.
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Why did the other sibs say leave her out there, but you thought she really should move back? Something still does not add up. More important than clearing the air on here would be clearing the air with your family if that's possible!!
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Wait - where was your father when your mother was wanting to move cross country by herself? Are they divorced?

Even adult children can have a bad reaction to their parents' divorce. If that's the case.
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I am sorry for your loss, and NO it is not unreasonable to ask for an expense report from your sisters. What have they got to hide? It is one piece of paper from the funeral home, or call them yourself and ask for a copy of the receipt. Siblings! Tell them you are grieving too.
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RB - if it is true you contributed financially and helped your mom so much before it sounds like you are still angry about this, perhaps you think you should not have had to contribute to the funeral expenses and your asking about documentation was the least of the family problems. If you have been at odds with your family for quite some time, I am wondering if your resentment caused you to lash out at your family the same way you did on this thread after folks gave their honest opinion in regards to your question. There is a lot more to this story than what meets the eye.
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If it really was just $52,50, think of it this way - they did all the work. I wouldn't be double-checking their figures, asking for receipts, or challenging them. If they did all the work and all you have to pay for your own time that you saved by not participating is $52,50, unless you're really broke, I'd just pay it and go out of my way to apologize, thank them, tell them you were just stressed, too, and cross your fingers that they also do all the work the next time, too.
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Okay people let's begin with the Total amount of funeral costs: $2800, and he was asked to pay $470. Split five ways, it amounts to each paying $560. I think the gentleman just wants an accurate accounting. Please stop trying to input each of your own sibling rivalries onto him when he just ask a simple question. If a copy of the funeral expenses out way all the pain, suffering and anguish to the other siblings and you, then this is one "opportunity cost" you cannot afford (Economics 101). At $470 you got off cheap.
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Oops! That is "asked" a simple question, above.
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Ok, I'm done with this question, RB was withholding the funds. He was asking us to support his bad behavior withholding his payment and delaying the family's need to get it all over with. I don't think this question has anything to do with taxes or accounting, it's that he didn't want to be bothered to help pay the expenses. IMHO a gentleman would be grateful for the support and honesty of the folks on this website who took the time to offer their opinions.
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Woah, hold it! There are so many assumptions here by so many posters. If you read the posts, the OP has already stated he paid his portion. All he asked was if asking for documentation for the EOL expenses is wrong. This thread has grown out of all proportion to the original question and become, t some extent, a mud slinging fest which is not characteristic of most threads on AC. I don't think he is obliged to discuss his family's history or problems here in order to deserve a civil answer.
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You are right, emjo, this was a simple but emotionally-sensitive question that got way out of hand. The OP has paid his share, gotten at least some documentation, and, let us hope, moved on.

No need to keep at this, no matter what we think about asking for documentation of funeral costs.
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Ok, I could be wrong. However, 6 days ago he stated he had not paid it, and then 2 days ago he said he said he had paid it, and he proceeded to blast jg, someone who had given him much support in suggesting that he not add more stress to the family situation. I think she deserves an apology.
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Maybe if the OP had gone about the request a little differently it would not have raised as much of an issue with the family. Instead of requiring the settlement copies or details before being willing to make payment to his sister asking that once things settle down she send him a copy of copies of the expenses and of the death certificate for his records.
My husband was the 2nd oldest of 6 and when his father passed (mother & eldest brother had both passed several years earlier) we left all the arrangements up to the siblings that had been his caregivers. Fortunately Dad had prepaid for most expenses when he had arranged for Mom’s services and we split whatever else there was for expenses between 4 siblings. One sibling was estranged from the rest and remains so today, but we all made certain that she and her children were included in all memorials to Dad and arrangements were communicated to her through the Funeral Director.
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